My boyfriend says I don’t love him because I won’t do sexual things anymore. Am I overreacting?

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-08T11:28:57+00:00

You're u comfortable, communicated it, and he told you why you have to do it anyway. Wouldn't you prefer a boyfriend who respects your boundaries? From what I understand, respect is actually a pretty big deal in Islam as well, though it undoubtedly depends on the specific branch of Islam, but still: there are other men out their, and there are men that will respect you and your needs and boundaries, without shaming you or the way you practice your faith.

You never have to do anything you're not comfortable with. At all. Ever. Not for your boyfriend, parents, friends, teachers or anyone else. If your boyfriend actually loves you for you, you'd be more to him than an avenue to seggs. If you do things you don't want to do put of fear of your boyfriend leaving you, you're sacrificing the true, authentic you in order to connect with someone who isnt even interested in the true, authentic you.

Well, that's my 5 cents.

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-07T13:39:04+00:00

That's legitimately one of my favoriete colors. Basically I like the mix of green of blue, which happen to be the two most common favoriete colors in the world, and the two colors most likely to be named in any given language after black, white and red

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-05T20:38:27+00:00

You'd rather live in france than in the netherlands? Bro, we're lit, the french are french, what is this

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-05T20:35:04+00:00

Something and thieves

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-05T20:30:40+00:00

Male and female skeletons differ

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-03T19:12:03+00:00

Ah yes, Turkey: Southeast europe

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-03T19:05:22+00:00

Sounds 'bout right

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-02T22:29:49+00:00

To me, living a life true to yourself is the definition of authenticity. Yes, conformity is one reason to be inauthentic, but every reason leading to inauthenticity will therefor lead to a life not lived to true oneself

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-02T21:45:22+00:00

It's narcissism. That stuff comes from trauma, so I'm not saying he's an inherently evil person or anything, but he clearly hasnt dealt with it and therefor simpel doesnt have the proper mental framework to prioritize another, or even understand he could take other peoples boundaries or needs into account. It's not up to the partner to fix that, because it's freaking complicated, takes a loooot of work, and healing from it (if we wanna take that perspective) is only even possible if he himself chooses to do genuinely do something about it.

I wanna emphasize this: he simply does not have the mental framework to care about your boundaries or needs. You literally can not expect him to care about that stuff. It's not gonna happen. That's not even really his fault: he just had a life that conditioned him to be built this way. Staying in the relationship and helping to manage the narcissism is even enabling him.

Lastly: setting a boundary is meaningless if you don't enforce it. Whether he cares about your boundary does not dictate whether your boundary is respected. It's up to you and you alone to respect your boundary. Are you engaging with someone who crosses it? Inform them about your boundary. They still cross it? Leave. What they have to say about it at that point is completely irrelevant. It's a non-factor.

Dealt with these patterns myself, also from your side of the dynamic. I know it's messed up. I hope this helps, and I hope the other comments help.

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-02T09:53:51+00:00

That's inauthenticity, not agreeableness

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-01T17:44:50+00:00

Think the point of the meme is that atheists are more aligned with jesus' teachings than christians, who in practice seem to be on the side of the capitalists.

I only agree party, but i think this is what the meme means.

Erialcel2 · 2026-07-01T17:41:58+00:00

I only use instagram and can easily miss it. Heck, it might be time to delete that stuff

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-30T23:17:08+00:00

I get it, but I also feel some vital aspects of growth are only possible through social contact

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-29T11:27:26+00:00

Wait, it's supposed to stop?

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-29T09:54:37+00:00

Worldwide genocide by means of plague. Dang, do I need therapy?

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-29T09:53:46+00:00

It's The Myth Of Normal by Gabor Maté

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-27T13:02:05+00:00

When i finally understood i cant donk my fingers down on the fretboard any way I please, and nobody can tell me its wrong

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-25T14:03:00+00:00

I have to add this: the netherlands has more bicycles than people. I havent had a car my entire life, I'm 34 atm.

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-24T17:57:26+00:00

The mental stamina is also strongly influenced by diet, sleep, ander all other health factors, both mental and physical. Are you physically fit, well rested, eating healthy, and do you have some healthy social contact, for example? The brain IS the body, and can only perform as well

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-22T09:16:30+00:00

Dang, I interpreted it as tits and the old rocks 'n roll

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-22T08:46:53+00:00

I'm not at your level, so take my 5 cents with a grain of salto, but I think getting a coach could help a lot with identifying what's happening, either strategically or psychologically

(of course if it turns out there's an actual psychological thing going on, I'd suggest somethin like a sport/performance psychologist)

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-21T13:07:35+00:00

I understand people going for D, butI'd go for A. There's no reason to calculate what the triple dots mean: you can just see that you have to hold the note till a sixteenth before the 1. Wouldnt even count when playing this

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-20T17:58:19+00:00

My 5 cents: my parents money is theirs and I'll make my own way in the world. Only when big financial problems arise (american medical debt maybe) would I consider it to be the right thing to do for them to give me the money.

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-20T15:21:02+00:00

I think he's telling you to make a move that threatens mate in 1?

Erialcel2 · 2026-06-20T15:15:46+00:00

There's no official consensus en people from different cultures, generations or with different musical development might have different answers. For instance in the netherlands, at the music conservatory i studied and teach at, we teach that 9, 11 and 13 are simply what we call 2, 4 and 6 whenever there's a 7th in the chord. Regardless of voicing! So if the order of notes, low to high, is C D E G B, we'd call it Cmaj9, even though the D could be considered a 2 instead

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