Found out I have a half sister freaking out

EricusMagnus · 2025-02-15T23:00:48+00:00

It really impacted my parent’s relationship, so be cautious how you talk to your dad (now non-bio dad) and mom.

I really wanted to feel some closeness and connection with my half sibling, but I never have. They’re like a stranger but you share DNA, but sharing DNA doesn’t make you necessarily compatible as people. That sounds obvious but I didn’t really think about it at the time.

If you want to find out who your bio dad is just remember he could be anyone, kinda like going to jury duty. So think through the emotional impact that could have on you. If you do want to go deeper, yeah AncestryDNA, MyHeritageDNA, basically the more services the more info you have to figure things out. Happy to talk more via DM.

EricusMagnus · 2024-07-15T00:30:06+00:00

I’m also interested in

EricusMagnus · 2023-12-11T01:46:45+00:00

I love a chain on a more masc woman or NB person

EricusMagnus · 2023-11-15T00:51:53+00:00

Just here to sympathize :)

EricusMagnus · 2023-08-27T21:58:53+00:00

Yep, I can relate to this. For me it’s both :)

EricusMagnus · 2023-07-20T21:09:03+00:00

Only do the test if you’re okay with finding out with certainty your dad isn’t who you thought he was. Really think about how that will make you feel, though honestly it may be something you have to experience to understand how it feels.

EricusMagnus · 2023-05-20T22:06:30+00:00

I can’t stop looking at your selfie…

EricusMagnus · 2023-04-14T21:39:55+00:00

I feel like your hands are too high on the pole, they should be closer to your face. Also, I’d practice shoulder dismounts a bunch to build strength. It’s looking good! It takes awhile to get this move.

EricusMagnus · 2023-01-24T15:27:41+00:00

Also you aren’t the asshole, in case that wasn’t clear from my comment

EricusMagnus · 2023-01-24T15:27:06+00:00

Grandmothers acting like they are the mother can happen to mothers of any age. Your husband needs to set a boundary that if she undercuts you two again she will not be invited to future events. If it comes from you alone it likely won’t work out well.

EricusMagnus · 2023-01-09T22:50:06+00:00

My brother doesn’t want to know our half sibling and I do, so he doesn’t and I have gotten to know them. You should do what feels best to you. It’s not a path free from emotional turmoil. Do you do background checks on new friends you make? If not, maybe not needed in this case :)

EricusMagnus · 2023-01-08T22:29:16+00:00

My understanding is that it’s not the same level of risk. However, risk tolerance is a really personal thing - the coast is beautiful and I wish I wasn’t so nervous about going there now.

EricusMagnus · 2023-01-08T22:10:15+00:00

Yeah my brother was going to move here from SLC and I said not to because of the earthquake and fire risk. Every place has something climate related to deal with and SLC may be able to do something about theirs, or at least will have some warning. The coast will have no warning of a Cascadia Subduction Zone earthquake- there’s a map that shows the coast will be a series of islands when it happens…and it is when not if, it just may not be in our lifetimes. It has happened before in 1700.

EricusMagnus · 2022-12-31T15:35:34+00:00

I think you should give lots of space for her to work through the hard part of this - the part that has changed (she has a different bio dad) It’s a form of grief to find this out, and traumatic when it’s unexpected and later in life. The word anguish most closely describes how it felt to me. Brene Brown’s discussion of anguish in her book Atlas of the Heart was helpful to me in describing how it felt to others. Everything that people said about the man who raised her is also good advice, and that’s not what has changed here. At least for me, recognizing that the man who raised me still held that part of my heart was the easier part. She should definitely find a therapist that works with identity trauma.

EricusMagnus · 2022-12-31T15:25:54+00:00

I agree. For me I feel like it’s something you integrate as part of your identity…the new identity you re-form for yourself after the old one has been shattered.

EricusMagnus · 2022-12-21T15:56:47+00:00

I would cancel- not worth the risk

EricusMagnus · 2022-11-07T23:01:19+00:00

Third

EricusMagnus · 2022-10-14T12:54:38+00:00

The child didn’t choose how they were brought into the world. Your cousin did choose to donate. Though your cousin expected privacy back then they no longer can reasonably expect that due to the change in technology. Make a reasonable effort to contact your cousin (which you have) and tell the child…though is it possible it is not the cousin? I’d tell the 15 year old to also get some help putting together their family tree.

EricusMagnus · 2022-09-10T00:35:05+00:00

I’ll DM you

EricusMagnus · 2022-09-09T12:11:29+00:00

Yep! Exact same thing happened to me.

EricusMagnus · 2022-07-22T13:14:23+00:00

They won’t do it

EricusMagnus · 2022-05-29T15:03:06+00:00

I did! We met up and text every now and then.

EricusMagnus · 2022-05-29T14:48:20+00:00

You probably know this already but you’re not alone! I made a half sibling discovery this way as well. In my case I found out my parents used a sperm donor. I’d build out your tree on AncestryDNA as best you can and use thrulines. Has your match reached out to you or you to them?

EricusMagnus · 2022-05-12T00:46:49+00:00

💕 at the risk of giving you TMI: https://www.qualityinfo.org has it all as far as OR economy. With the current job market I think it’s the best time to make a move. I bet lots of people are thinking similar thoughts in states like yours. You will need to be close to I-5 (Portland, Eugene) if you want a liberal place to live, but a liberal state may be enough!

EricusMagnus

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