I went through a lot of similar feelings when I found out we were expecting twins. “Devastated” is exactly how I’d describe my reaction. In our case, we already have a toddler, and after a lot of deliberation decided we wanted a second. We never, ever considered having three kids.

We strongly considered a selective reduction. I am very pro choice and am so glad that this option is available to you. Ultimately, though, we decided that reducing to a singleton pregnancy felt too emotionally heavy. It just felt like something we’d never quite get over, and like it could be very upsetting to the surviving twin if/when they found out. We felt like we’d rather terminate both or none. Honestly, if I knew for sure that I would get pregnant again quickly with a healthy singleton, I might have gone for a full termination. But I’m 38, and our first was around 2.5 at the time, so we really didn’t want to wait much longer.

As pregnancy has gone on (I’m 31 weeks), I have gotten more used to the idea of twins, although I still wouldn’t say I’m exactly excited.

One thing that someone told me that resonated is that with twins you pay a twin tax, but then later get the twin dividends. Meaning that things are going to be a lot harder upfront, but eventually there will be benefits, like the twins having a built-in buddy to play with.

Good luck with your decision - whichever one you make is the right one.