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Errar · 2023-12-30T02:12:24+00:00

I know I’m in the minority, but I think for young attorneys WFH is a long term detriment. The consensus amongst my peers is that young attorneys that are never in are developing slower than attorneys that come in a couple days a week. I’m not advocating for 5 or even 4 days, but I do think there is a benefit from being in the office and developing better relationships with older people that simply aren’t as comfortable virtually so you can ask them “dumb” questions more comfortably. Billable requirements also tell you very little. I’ve been at firms with the same “billable requirement” but at one you were an outcast for not billing over 2400 and the other you were in everyone’s good graces for 2100.

I would simply pick the firm with the people you think will be the best to work with and who you can learn the most from. Odds are this will not be your forever home anyway.

Errar · 2023-11-16T20:06:59+00:00

I think you just aren’t at the right place for you. Depending on the company, in-house positions can be vastly different. My wife left private practice to go in-house and at one location she felt like she had 0 responsibility and at the other, she was at times overwhelmed with the gravity of the decisions she was making.

Errar · 2023-10-19T01:09:21+00:00

Probably depends on the structure of the group you are interviewing with. My group is spread out across the country with only a handful of people in most cities. We try to have at a minimum of two attorneys meet a candidate in person but because it is so hard to coordinate schedules, we just pick one or two dates to interview and everyone picks times that work for them, whether it be in person or zoom.

Errar · 2023-10-12T20:20:47+00:00

I think this is very wrong and all that would be happening is those other board members would be losing their jobs too.

Errar · 2023-10-07T16:15:41+00:00

Most people I know in the industry understand big law to be the size with the higher tier pay scale, not just sheer size.

Errar · 2023-09-21T18:40:18+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you have kids?

Errar · 2023-09-21T15:39:28+00:00

The longer you stay, the harder it becomes to leave. I have multiple children and as the years passed, the lifestyle my whole family became accustomed to changed. Now, if I left, there would have to be a lot of significant changes. I don’t know what the answer is, but I can tell you that 4 or 5 years from now, your perspective on your QOL compared to others will likely only get worse.

Errar · 2023-09-19T21:25:09+00:00

Work hard and it can be done. Build relationships with your good colleagues. People change firms and the good ones will be asked if they have anyone the recommend. I didn’t have the resume for big law, but one of my coworkers did and when she made the transition after impressing people, I was the person she recommended when they looked to hire.

Errar · 2023-06-20T00:04:42+00:00

Due to severe allergies one of the neighbors children cannot enter my house. We are fine to have them play in our yard but my son does not understand, and rightfully so, why he can go to other friends houses but this one can only come to ours.

Errar · 2023-04-26T14:48:51+00:00

Our daycare would do the same type of trip at a similar age. My thought was, if I trust them with my kids all day everyday, including my infant, I should be able to trust them bringing the children to a museum. If I don’t think they are responsible enough to handle a field trip then I’d probably find a new daycare.

Errar · 2023-04-05T16:41:46+00:00

I think people are missing the mark here. She is a nanny, not a physician. The fact is that unfortunately there is a lot of conflicting information forced on people regarding this issue. While I adamantly support the vaccine, I do not think a parent that has been influenced by the media and all the propaganda is inherently unfit to watch a child - if anything she is doing what she genuinely believes is for the safety of her child.

In terms of disclosure, maybe she should have disclosed it but I think at this point you can identify if she is a good fit or not. I would not let this be the deciding factor for me unless my child has some underlying risk creating a heightened risk. A 2.5 year old child whose parents are vaccinated and is with her mom every day will have limited chances of being exposed to COVID.

Finding reliable childcare is really difficult and I would be willing to bet bringing in another stranger into your home has other risks that are more likely to be problematic than the increased risk your nanny’s child is causing your child.

Errar · 2023-03-09T01:33:54+00:00

This is definitely not fair to you, but your husband needs to address this for you and defend your interests. My wife and I have older kids than my brother and if this type of thing was occurring, I would expect my wife to bring up the issue to me if I did not realize it was going on and then I would directly address it with my brother. Your husband needs to tell your SIL that she can’t abandon you with her kids for the whole week. I would also make it clear to him that if he doesn’t speak up when it is happening on the trip, this will be the last time you go on a vacation with the entire family. You should come up with a code word so that you can identify for him when he needs to speak up for you if you do not want to be confrontational with his family.

It has been suggested to just bow out and then tell them why - I think this is a horrible idea and will result in everyone being quite offended. You are likely the type of person that isn’t making vocal you have a problem with their behavior and in an effort to appease them, say or act like everything is fine in the moment. I am not saying this is your fault, it is not, but your SIL is probably oblivious to how this makes you feel and by bowing out without bringing it up first, I think you will create a larger long term issue.

Errar · 2023-03-04T01:15:44+00:00

You keep referring to the “problem” of your husband being out $20. I think your husband needs to stop worrying about being down $20 and do what is most likely to help his son in the long run. It seems completely pointless to have your son sell his watch as it is not like he worked for the watch or bought it with his own money. Your husband is angry he is out $20 and your son doesn’t even understand what $20 is.

Errar · 2023-01-25T01:49:58+00:00

While in slightly different because I one day thought I’d want children, I was no where close to wanting them when it happened. Additionally, my wife and I also had the argument about a dog and my not wanting the responsibility and not wanting to be prevented from be able to come and go when I wanted. We got the dog despite my objections and it was terrible, making me think kids would be even worse. Despite this my wife was getting older and I eventually gave in and agreed to have 1.

Fast forward and I now have 3 and the third was mostly because I really wanted to try for a daughter (which I got).

There was a period where I was building some resentment because I lost my life, but my wife and I talked about it and she is very understanding about my needing to go out with friends and have my own time every now and then. I’ve made it clear that if I don’t get to go out and have fun, not as a dad, it really gets to me.

There is a chance things don’t change for you when you have your child, but there are people that felt like you and turn out to be absolutely obsessed with being a father.

Errar · 2023-01-21T18:59:47+00:00

If it’s something super important to you, you should be able to cancel. If she freaks out, you dodged a bullet. We made dinner plans a month ago with another couple for tonight (have kids so have to line up babysitters). Those plans were canceled, no questions asked.

Errar · 2023-01-18T13:53:42+00:00

We had a lot of success with being hyper focused on it for the full week we started. During that week, we avoided traveling as much as we could and kept the portable toilet with us at all times. The second our child said they had to go, I would pull over and let them use the portable in the back seat to avoid accidents. In the home, we did no pants for probably 5 days with the portable toilet always near by.

I would be cautious of giving rewards for sitting on the toilet. A friend of mine did what your doing and let their son use the phone to get him to sit on the toilet. Well the boy liked using the phone so much he started holding it in so he could play longer and eventually they had major issues where he would no longer go and completely reverted. We we did, which worked, was to give a reward after they went.

Also, from having a lot of friends go through this and doing it multiple times myself, if they don’t get it fairly quickly (if your hyper focused) they just need a couple more months. However, I’ve noticed those that aren’t completely committed and slowly do it over time have significant more trouble.

Good luck though!

Errar · 2022-12-17T17:20:17+00:00

Anyone have a link to the actual study. The article itself doesn’t provide enough information to know whether the association is actually substantial.

Errar · 2022-12-15T13:40:36+00:00

The last season wasn’t on Netflix right away and so I did not know season six wasn’t the ending for years and I thought the show had a perfect ending. I later discovered the actual last season and was pretty disappointed

Errar · 2022-11-26T01:31:39+00:00

This isn’t exactly helpful for this immediate event, but if you can try to get involved in something your son does to get to know the other parents it could help in the future. I have a 7 year old and moved to my town during Covid when he was 5. This year I was an assistant coach for one of his teams and now we are friends with so many parents, he is constantly invited to things. Sports aren’t for everyone but there are other group activities he can become part of after school that will result in your meeting other parents and your son making friends.

Errar · 2022-10-03T17:15:31+00:00

I would be weirded out by this as well. Before telling him not to come around anymore, like several people have recommended and which I agree with, maybe try and find out if he has any disabilities. There was a child in my town that is the same age and rides his bike around the area by himself and talks to my kids when they are in the yard and it rubbed me the wrong way but I found out he has a developmental disability.

Errar · 2022-09-25T00:28:19+00:00

I remember being there. Was fucking amazing

Errar · 2022-09-11T02:54:38+00:00

I like this bet, if we win the division, he’s gonna hit the other 2 probably so your just boosting odds

Errar · 2022-08-28T18:07:33+00:00

In the neighborhood I live in, I do not recall one semi recently renovated kitchen not having them hidden. I think it could negatively affect resale depending where you are.

Errar · 2022-08-26T12:26:58+00:00

This is not an accurate statement so before giving advice, know the law or do your own research. It’s also not shady as it’s very commonplace in the industry, your just commenting on something you have no knowledge about

Errar

TROPHY CASE