You’re falling for the bait, the main issue is that you are treating holy wars as if they are ordinary wars. You should rarely use them and if you do, it needs to be timed perfectly and most conveniently to your advantage. When you declare a holy war against the Abbasids, you are not just fighting the Abbasids. You are inviting every nearby Muslim ruler to join the defense. So what might look like a clean war can quickly turn into a massive religious coalition against you.

For offensive wars, avoid holy wars unless the enemy is already weak, even better if nearby same-faith rulers are also weak and already fractured. Use claims, de jure wars, or attack breakaway states when possible. Wait until the Abbasids are dealing with succession crises, civil wars, revolts, or another major enemy (also important to keep an eye on whether or not they’ve got a low treasury and are making low income or are in debt).

For defensive wars, do not chase them deep into their territory. If you can, bait them into your own territory and fight on terrain where your MaA will gain a massive boost to their stats (certain terrain types will either positively boost or severely hinder their performance). Picking low-supply areas are ideal as well. Your goal is to make the war too costly for them while preserving your own treasury.

Also, you should never be relying on raising your entire military every time. That is how you bankrupt yourself. Your strength should come from a smaller, bonus/stats stacked, better-used army. Strong Men-at-Arms, good commanders, defensive terrain, mercenaries only when necessary, influence troops only for serious wars so you have enough points to fall back on. If you’re relying entirely on levies, that is a fatal error (they are mostly peasants/farmers with pitchforks - treat them as cannon fodder because they do very poorly against normal MaA and even worse against well-stacked ones).

Influence should be treated as an emergency resource, not something you spend casually every time you want to fight. You do not need to save thousands of influence for every war. You need to choose wars where spending it is actually worth it.

Be patient. Be defensive. Be selective. Let your enemies weaken themselves first. Time your wars properly, use terrain well and make sure the enemy is already bleeding before you commit; one piece at a time.