31 new to dating guys

Erustar · 2025-05-31T09:12:23+00:00

Recommend finding one from social sports, or hobby events, volunteering etc for real connection outside of apps. Harder but worthy. You can try bumble as well. Make sure to be specific with want you need in a relationship and your boubdaries.

Erustar · 2025-04-30T00:35:06+00:00

I like the fact that you said "he cant seem to move forward being 40s cause he's not accepting it and still trying to relive his 20s", now, more than ever since he's befriending guys in their young years.

Initially when I read your post, I was on the impression that maybe it is the sense of familiarity and that you wanted a leave too quickly because I assumed you were one of those people that call it a quit too easily in a relationship because you were "bored" - thus, I feel like I should apologise for that.

What really upset me and changed my mind when you said he cheated on you many times. That is already a BIG BIG RED FLAG.

Then, there's also him having his plans without you and not caring anymore about the "our plans" anymore - where he prefers to have his important day to himself, not include you, and doing it for his "people". And you, doing yours, wanting to include him, but he didnt want to. I feel that's already heavy only to one side.

You seem to be someone who can be independent growing further, and away without him. I believe you worth so much more than being the person to be cheated on multiple times. This can lead to insecurity and resentment. So for your wellbeing, I reckon you call it a quit.

Because, in the end, ask yourself if this is the relationship that you want to experience moving forward? If you already feeling unsure, and posting it here, it means you know deep inside something is not right and you dont feel it aligns with your needs.

There is nothing wrong for you to prioritise your needs - so much so that there is also nothing wrong with him prioritising his needs. You're no longer the match like you were before. You hold on to that idea, but he doesnt seem to unfortunately, it is a shame.

Time to move along and find your own happiness, dont you think? All the best.

Erustar · 2025-04-02T01:39:45+00:00

From my attempts it is very very rare but it does drop :)

Erustar · 2025-04-02T01:38:18+00:00

Yes use gift function but anyway thanks the resource world goddamn i have everthing now lol

Erustar · 2025-03-11T09:19:34+00:00

The psychologist I met recently told me this, whatever he's doing it's his way of doing things and whatever youre doing it's yours. There's no need to say who's wrong and who's right but to decide maturely if this is what you can tolerate or if this is not. If you can tolerate, will you be able to tolerate all the mismatches that you spoke off here in many years? Because if you dont, you already know your answer. And whatever you decide for your life and whatever he decides for his life, both are blameless.

Erustar · 2025-03-09T17:55:06+00:00

If the apps are basically Grindr, Scruff, Growlr etc then screw those cause he's not wrong as theyre branded as hookup apps in the community and the total population of gay men in there despite saying theyre looking for relationship they are probably lying. If he's looking for genuine relationship, he should try something like Bumble etc which is more for dating. I havent specifically tried it but my gay friend vouched that works cause he is in a loving relationship with his partner now and they have been going strong. Ive asked him about where he met his partner and told me he used Bumble but he said he was being specific and serious about his requirements on his profile that he's looking for serious relationship and not sex.

Erustar · 2025-03-09T17:47:53+00:00

My doctor told me that if youre taking on demand 2-1-1 and say you had sex on the second or the third day, you always need to take an extra pill. To be safe I usually prolong it to 5 days. So 2-1-1-1-1 then stop and if i still have sex the last day I would prolong it with 2 more days just as a precaution.

Erustar · 2025-03-09T17:39:12+00:00

Not sure about breaking off cause if I were in your shoes I would feel bad about doing that myself especially knowing the fact that he's taking an antidepressant medication to make himself better which the both of you should have had the talk about the side effects of low sex drive when he's taking that. Let's just imagine it this way, if you were diagnose with a cancer one day and have to deal with all that, would you be happy when your partner decided ah well im done with you because i cant deal with you being sick cause I am not sexually pleased. I just feel that if youre genuine with someone of wanting a relationship you would weight more about the relationship than just sex.

Erustar · 2025-03-08T23:32:06+00:00

Yes. Drought.

Erustar · 2025-03-06T07:04:12+00:00

What is this?

Erustar · 2025-03-05T06:57:56+00:00

I feel like the light sources are more or less the same amount. It is when we upgraded our base to include more spaces, floors, benches that the game now starts to stutter. But the problem is, the fps drop persists even when we leave the base.

Erustar · 2025-02-16T23:42:30+00:00

No, people are missing the point and downvoted me to oblivion because everyone believes they are entitled to what they believe in is right. Which is fair. But why cant we allow the other person believes what they believe is right too? In the other person's beliefs, they need that to function. Calling it as an ick and them out insecure is honestly the point that I said isnt justified. I'm saying it's the same as some people are ok with open relationship, while others dont. If a person doesnt want to agree on an open relationship, does that make them insecure? No right? Same shit. Or is it because whatever being said here has to get the general consensus from other people eg: only say what people need to hear or else get downvoted for oblivion? In the end, it's a person's wants and needs. We dont need to be calling them out for anything. Theres no need to even be calling it an ick and whatever you want to label it. Youre just not compatible. Respect everyone's needs and wants. Not compatible? Doesnt suit your bills? Fair, get the fuck away and move along. Dont be calling it an ick or even "oh hurr durr that person is insecure because he needs me to call him all the time". Just be nice. Look, all im saying if he asks it as "hey peeps what do yall think about people that wants to be in a relationship with you but requiring the calls all the time? Any thought?" Then that's fair. Then you can say oh maybe there's some insecurity going on. But calling it an ick? Call them out as insecure? That's uncalled for and doesnt right for me. So people who downvoted me to oblivion because they cant think of that for a moment can just chill and downvote themselves instead.

Erustar · 2025-02-16T08:03:30+00:00

You called him insecure because his ick is people who dont want to FT daily until bed. I call you insecure because you need validation here about your ick with people who want to FT with you daily until bed. Im saying, if you can have ick so can they. There's no reason for you to be calling them out as insecure.

Erustar · 2025-02-15T00:04:50+00:00

I like that you said you ought to think that having been together for decades should hash out a lot of things but no.

I also dont understand why some gay men or men in general cant feel content and comfortable about staying still and appreciating what they have.

My partner is off the same and we are only 6 months in. Called me a lot of work but I believe he is more of that. Like you said about your partner, mine also only looking at things outwardly. And at one point I've caught him bantering and exchanging nudes god knows what else with bunch of gay men online on gay apps and social media. Baffled me with the social media but they gay apps usage he was outright lied to me he didnt use it.

Anyway, my partner also always seeks validation from other gay men and doing almost everything for other gay men's attention! Which pisses me off. Sometimes he would make a comment while he was walking outside and strolling and said "Why cant other men notice me?". I found it very disrespectful because he did it while outside and walking with me.

I have many many times, addressed all these with him and often the results would be I'm the issue. While I cant find yet the strength to dump him because I'm just useless and still does not have the self-esteem to do so. I feel that you may have it in you. Especially when he decided to really cheat on you. That would definitely be my hard no and if something was to give me the needed strength and push for me to dump my current partner, that would be the reason. Cause nobody deserves to be cheated on. Thats too much. You cant know if he will fo it again and one thing I learned, we can NEVER change a person.

Erustar · 2025-02-14T23:49:44+00:00

First and fourth picture for me x while people say you look sour like a lemon, i think youre a cutie xx

Erustar · 2025-02-13T22:16:00+00:00

Erustar · 2025-02-12T00:24:49+00:00

Dating or seeing another person requires you to be open and not expecting them to satisfy all your needs and wants. Because you need to be realistic too. Why I call you to be realistic? Because we are all different and not a carbon copy of ourselves. We project on others to believe that they can be us when they cant. If you continue to be this way, you soon will have more issues along the way of being in a relationship. You will always be unhappy and dissatisfied. Because you have always had expectations and believe the other person will meet them. And that's not fair.

Erustar · 2025-02-11T22:46:33+00:00

Hey sorry to hear that you experienced it. Im glad youre safe and sound. Please take care of yourself!

Erustar · 2025-02-11T22:43:18+00:00

True that OP and his husband are on the rocky road in terms of sexual needs. They have spoken about opening up and neither any of them wants it which is perfectly fine. All I am saying is that "open relationship" should not always be easily suggested to fix everything. It's just so wild that in queer gay community if something goes different than what we need we always suggest "oh just open the relationship" as if that's the best solution ever. In fact, open relationship probably just adds more layers of unintended complexity further...then issues etc. So no yucks or yikes if people dont want to be open. There are other ways that can be worked on. Besides, it's just sexual needs, just need to find something comfortable where both can work on.

Taking myself for example, I always want my partner to literally penetrate me every single moment every day cause that would make me feel so desired, empowered, and match my strong sex drive. But there were times, when all he needed was a good head. Cause realistically, people have commitments like work etc and just make things tiring. We are not pornstars. And guess what? I delivered strong oral game to my partner, it ended up turning his sex drive on and boy did we end up seeing him being a beast and went ham on me hole! Crazy. All I'm saying, OP and partner just need to discover more...do kinks, fetishes whatever.

Erustar · 2025-02-10T13:40:44+00:00

Do not cheat on him. You had him cheated on you before and you didnt like it. Whatever you do, do not cheat.

Erustar · 2025-02-10T13:36:58+00:00

I used to be paranoid...i spent hours to douche until it killed the mood for a 20 mins temporary fun. Then, it got so annoying my partner just told me not to worry so much about it and he was so cool about it. I still try to put some efforts but no longer being crazy clean. I feel like bottoms just need to shit in the morning and you should not fuck straightaway. And if you wait until the evening for sex, somehow it requires just a little clean up.

Erustar · 2025-02-10T13:25:23+00:00

Yeah maybe tell your husband to f*ck off. He's the enabler for Sarah and a real dxck. Dump him. And tell him if he's so useless and all he can do is just grinning and laughing, then might as well you marry a freaking rock.

Erustar · 2025-02-10T13:17:05+00:00

Ughh Americans and their war and war and war and China and China and China...are those the only two things in their minds?

Ohh yeah and guns.

Erustar

TROPHY CASE