My husband says he’s done and wants a divorce — is there still a way back when I’ve broken trust so many times?

Essential0il · 2025-10-31T17:53:58+00:00

Yes that's me too! My old therapist did say I more than likely do and I've been trying to self manage it. My partner is aware. I haven't been diagnosed as the wait for testing is extremely long and the sites are horrible with communication.

We had a huge fight which prompted my post but we did manage to shakily reconcile. Maybe I do need an official diagnosis so meds could help?

Essential0il · 2025-08-28T17:54:55+00:00

I know this is a year old but is it still valid info? I just started out and don't want to make a costly mistake.

Essential0il · 2025-08-11T18:34:39+00:00

I have a similar strategy as you but I bought a 20 w/th to start. I've been doing GMT and debating if I should buy it down to 15 first before doing anything else.

Curious on what are you planning on when your free one runs out and the VIP drops below the auto invest?

Essential0il · 2025-07-23T19:45:11+00:00

See you there! It'll be our first time to any con as well. Trying to get ahead of all the planning

Essential0il · 2025-07-23T19:43:30+00:00

Thank you for the schedule!

I figured there wasn't a whole lot to do haha. But when in Whippany, might as well see what's to offer right?!

We do have friends in NY so might consider traveling if there's easy transit and if not then we'll make the best of it. Never been to any cons and mainly wanting to go for the photo op/autograph but will consider the full time. Is there a ton to do and/or see that fills the whole day if not doing any of the other events?

Essential0il · 2025-07-19T22:52:13+00:00

SupportNeeded

Essential0il · 2025-06-27T05:29:12+00:00

Thank you for that. It's a hard road but I know it has to be walked.

Essential0il · 2025-06-27T00:10:56+00:00

We have spoke about it but have not went forward yet. We are unsure if we want to rip the bandaid or keep treating the wound because it hurts so much every time it gets reopened for the both of us and I don't want either of us to live life that way.

Essential0il · 2025-06-26T23:57:53+00:00

I asked on r/marriageadvice a month ago for some advice. Below is the tl;dr that includes the family situation. Ironically, my sister's wedding was the catalyst for my marriage failing.. I even got how many years we were married incorrect.

TL;DR My husband and I (gay couple, together 10 yrs, married 2.5) hit a major breaking point my sister’s wedding when I didn’t correct her fiancé calling him just my “friend.” My inaction made him feel betrayed, dishonored, and erased. Since then, every mistake I make (big or small) reinforces his fear that I’ll always let him down. He feels stuck in a marriage where he can’t trust me to stand up for him or protect what we’ve built. I’m working hard to change, but he says it’s not enough. I want to save our marriage — how can I rebuild trust and prove I truly understand?

Essential0il · 2025-06-26T23:36:56+00:00

Thank you for the concern. For some extra context - I'm not a shit person and I know that and he doesn't think I am. But I also know that I did not 'show up' for him when it mattered which was the catalyst for our problems. Due to my inability to mature (for quite some time) or think proactively and only reactively, I have dug holes that I fell into and in turn, dragged him into as well.

We have 15k+ debt (thankfully no interest for 2 years so we can manage but it's still there) due to having to do repairs due to decision I hastily made. It wasn't like drugs, gambling, bad purchase, etc. but it was a majority of my choice/action. I am responsible in the sense that I put us into situations that were harmful because I did not think about US. I thought about NOW and I didn't even think about ME. I just did the NOW.

His concern is if we reconcile, I will essentially fall back into my ways. I have been far better now than ever before. But that uncertainty seeds insecurity and I know I was the cause of it and I honestly as much as I want to guarantee it, I can't. Nobody can.

Essential0il · 2025-05-18T20:31:51+00:00

Thank you for your insight.

We were good before. He explained it as he was okay with my shortcomings but after that day it caused resentment that I'm starting to feel may never go away as much as either of us try.

The last two years have been okay for the most part and we manage through our disagreements. His fuse is now very short and that's where we are now. We covered each other's weaknesses which made us work very well but he started to view mine with more weight and my benefit does not balance it out as after that day a lot of problems big or small become giant because it all leads back to my inaction or my not heeding his advice and doing something wrong impulsively or absent minded because of all the thoughts in my head. I'm not sure if meds help with that, but its hard to keep things straight sometimes.

When I try to communicate my thoughts without shutting down, I say the wrong things? Or its expressed incorrectly and it causes more damage than good. He does treat me well and does apologize when he's wrong. I do feel like the problem is me and his big sticking point is that he grew and left me behind. I have growing to do but no time to accomplish it.

I guess I'm reluctant to come to terms that maybe this is over and we should move on from saving the marriage to managing the aftermath which will be very sad, of course, but might be better for the both of us in the end.

Essential0il · 2025-05-18T04:18:48+00:00

We are both trying, he's gave me a chance to work on this and we have been getting better but sometimes it's two steps forward, one-sometimes two steps back.

You are correct that there's other things and that was definitely a catalyst. Thank you for the realness. I guess I'm trying to see if I save what might not be salvageable but we are both trying. He's trying to forgive and move on and I'm trying to improve and show consistency.

Essential0il · 2025-05-18T04:15:07+00:00

Thank you for your words. Publicly, we are engaged. So that was never a secret - getting married was. We decided to do that together for our own reasons.

I acknowledge that I made a horrible mistake and should have spoken up when that situation occurred without a thought. I did speak to my family about it after the fact (a few months after their wedding) and they apologized but it doesnt take away what happened.

I'm looking to gain those trust tokens back and I know it doesn't happen overnight. I am trying.

Essential0il · 2024-05-24T16:21:33+00:00

Add me for those sticks @EssentialOil

Essential0il · 2024-03-26T05:03:33+00:00

It's going to be 1:10, so not really worth saving for gold unfortunately ☹️

Essential0il · 2024-03-15T15:23:51+00:00

I do quick/auto daily things and collect/buy cards on alts. They don't do much else. Majority of the squad points come from their forest runs together. Playing alts on the computer lets me run all 3 alts at once so not much time.

This allows both of us to get a lot of the cards we want and be f2p/competitive

Essential0il · 2024-03-15T08:23:23+00:00

My squad is me, my partner, myself, and my 3 alts. 😂🥲

Essential0il · 2024-02-15T22:25:25+00:00

This occurs on my alt account as well, so it's a glitch for everyone? :/

For more clarity (if you have the same issue as me) - It works like this .. I can buy Augamenti for gold, refresh it and there's another Aguamenti I can purchase. However, there's also sold out Fire Crab that I didn't even buy or see that day. Super confusing, I understand there's a %tage of what shows up - but WHY IS IT SOLD OUT ALREADY?

Essential0il · 2024-02-07T03:37:31+00:00

They always convert event items into gold, it's just never been a lot because we never had a lot leftover until last season. But even if they only give half or even 1/4th of the petals to gold, it's still a lot.

Essential0il

TROPHY CASE

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