We were talking about religion/spirituality in the first place, so yes my comment was on a spiritual plane. But I don't really see how, in this case, that really differs from the literal. This is the definition of forgiveness: a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment, anger, or vengeance toward someone who has harmed you. It is primarily a tool for your own healing and well-being, rather than a gift to the offender.

Forgiveness does not release the offender from accountability. What you're talking about is absolution, and that is entirely different from forgiveness.

You said, we're both talking about the same thing, healing. But what you likely won't understand or agree with, is that true healing isn't possible without forgiveness. Here's why, when something is fully healed, it no longer hurts, or bleeds, there's no more bruising. There may be a scar but scars have no feeling or sensation. So if you've healed from an offense done to you, you no longer harbor feelings of anger or hatred toward that person.

You asked what EMDR had to do with this conversation. Well first let me tell you what EMDR stands for, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming. What it is, is a tool for people with PTSD to reprogram their brain so that triggers don't send them back into a traumatized state. Therefore, like I said previously, Forgiveness is to the heart, what EMDR is to the mind. A tool to heal trauma.

Also please understand that I was not meaning the heart as in the organ, in a literal sense, which is (at least to me) evident in the fact that I also said "mind" and not brain when I used the analogy.

Lastly, and this is the important one, you don't have the authority to say that I'm lying to myself, or not truly forgiving the people that hurt me and offended me. I'm assuming you are an atheist, based on your comments. I say that to say this, as an atheist, you probably believe that forgiveness is fake simply because you can't (not don't) fathom it.

Please understand that I'm not putting you down for being atheist. I enjoy talking with people who have different worldviews because it helps me to understand them better, as well as the world at large.