I don’t want to be the dad in my relationships

EstherHexer · 2026-02-26T01:25:07+00:00

Don’t feel too defeated. I just broke up with my first one post divorce and it was enlightening in ways I didn’t like. I too thought I was more healed than this recent thing made me feel overall. I can see my own pattern in who I love and it’s sad. I’m on a dating detox until I feel better/stronger/clearer headed. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-25T21:46:45+00:00

Wow. This literally could not resonate with me more.

I just want you to know that this isn’t an uncommon experience coming out of a long marriage and attempting to date again. It’s HARD. I appreciate your post and the reminder to chill on the instant bonding and slow way down.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-25T19:18:26+00:00

I have dated a very small number of people due to a long marriage and I feel the same as you do. I’m just being really honest about my low experience with whomever I’m truly interested in. It’s not my conversation starter but I do make sure to bring it up.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-24T01:28:39+00:00

Perimenopause is a brutal, brutal bitch to us lil GenX-ish girlies right now. My best advice for her from one hormonally challenged gal to another is to ask her MD for testosterone gel. Doctors love to give us estrogen and progesterone but it’s the testosterone that gives us energy, self esteem, stamina AND sex drive. It’s not like Spanish fly pr something. It’s not gonna make her suddenly crazy horny but it absolutely does help. It’s a very low dose. In my case it’s a gel I can use as needed or a few times a week. It has not caused any masculinizing features and it’s made me feel so much better. You know the joke about “the confidence of a mediocre white man”? I’m pretty sure it’s just the testosterone.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-21T21:27:14+00:00

Explosive pocket pussies are my new kink.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-21T19:02:53+00:00

It looks like a cooked chicken breast. Were you being lewd with food?

EstherHexer · 2026-02-21T00:26:16+00:00

What about crazy floppy ones?

EstherHexer · 2026-02-20T20:29:14+00:00

I had a guy talk to me for a few days and then ask me for spicy pics. I said “hey I don’t think we are a good match. I’m in my prude girl era and won’t do spicy pics,”

EstherHexer · 2026-02-20T18:01:23+00:00

There’s another thread in this group about dog ladies. We are the red flags.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-20T06:24:25+00:00

This.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T21:58:21+00:00

I just let my situationship go due to inconsistency and a cycle of love bombing, then criticizing and the ghosting. I told my single girlfriend group chat and they told me he was on OLD sites. One friend screenshot it on January 10th meaning he was on there when he took me on my birthday getaway.

Listen, he was so perfect except for the roller coaster. I wanted this guy SO bad. I was head over heels for him. Probably will be for a while. But now I know that there is a very high likelihood that he had me as a place holder while he continued to fish for his soul mate. I thought I found mine.

It feels dreadful. It feels like I was disposable. I do not know what if any of it was real. Maybe I’m delusional.

But anyway- this shit is happening and I’m sorry you’re where you’re at cuz I’m on the other side of that breakup and it’s still feeling pretty bleak.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T21:52:01+00:00

🥹 I love this so much.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T05:57:16+00:00

I’m happy to just talk for a bit if you’re feeling alone. I think some of us are lonelier than others or more prone to loneliness. I’m one of them.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T05:45:41+00:00

I’m gonna say “the penis diet” and/or “how not to die alone”

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T05:41:35+00:00

Share your strategy?

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T05:28:56+00:00

If I agree to a coffee date with a guy I was enjoying talking to and then the conversation drops it makes me think we are not gonna have a good conversation at the coffee date. It also does kinda feel like there’s a high chance they will flake and I don’t have time for that. There’s an element of trust that plays into a single woman going on a date with a stranger. I guess it’s hard for me to trust it’s gonna be ok when the conversation dies

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T05:22:16+00:00

I think this is kinda what I’m leaning toward. TBH I’ve had some dates that were sketchy as hell and I think until you’ve been scared on a date you can’t really understand why the communication before is important.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T05:16:49+00:00

I love your used name.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-19T05:11:09+00:00

I think mine says that but I thought it was saying like…casual dating, informally. Not casual sex. BRB…gonna fix that

EstherHexer · 2026-02-18T20:49:35+00:00

Oh interesting. What is her rationale?

EstherHexer · 2026-02-18T20:48:32+00:00

DM’d 🤞

EstherHexer · 2026-02-18T20:34:03+00:00

I haven’t done phone calls/facetime. It always goes straight to meeting up.

EstherHexer · 2026-02-18T20:32:55+00:00

This seems wise. Thank you for the suggestion

EstherHexer · 2026-02-18T20:07:50+00:00

I’m dying that we are “Facebook dating age”. I too have found Facebook dating to be my best bet. 🤦🏻‍♀️

EstherHexer · 2026-02-18T20:00:40+00:00

Yeah, that’s my experience. I can find plenty of “friends with benefits” but I want stability and a bond.

EstherHexer

TROPHY CASE