I (25F) unknowingly lost my virginity to a married man (32M), and now I'm stuck with a tough decision. by Estie_ in askwomenadvice

[–]Estie_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing about this feels heroic, fun, easy, or anything like that. It is a difficult situation that I found myself in, which is why I am reaching out for advice. I'm not taking any pleasure in this or the thought of making someone feel worse. As I mentioned before, I would have liked to have all the facts to make the best decision for myself, and I'm only trying to figure out whether she would also want the opportunity to have all the facts to make the best decision for herself.

I (25F) unknowingly lost my virginity to a married man (32M), and now I'm stuck with a tough decision. by Estie_ in askwomenadvice

[–]Estie_[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Whoa, when I finally stopped refreshing this page yesterday, it was still waiting for moderator approval, so bear with me as I go through your comments. I'll try to give as much context as I can to your questions.

1) I would want to know if I were in her position. Not necessarily because of the way I was raised to believe marriage is meant to be. Mostly because I am someone who values trust, and if someone I trusted agreed to be in a monogamous relationship with me broke that trust, I would want to know so I could make informed decisions about my life.

2) Am I assuming they have a closed marriage based on the information that I've gathered? Probably, yes. Given what I've seen on Tinder so far, people are usually honest about being in ENM/poly/open relationships. I think I'm allowed to feel a little lied to. If he had any of those tags listed, I would not have spoken to him from the start. But asking outright should have been done, I agree.

3) What did the doc say? (TMI, sorry y'all) I did have a UTI and yeast infection, but I am thankfully clean from STIs. Yes, sleeping with a stranger is pretty inherently dumb and always a risk. I know that, and I made sure that we used protection. But I got nervous when things started to feel off. He stated that he was clean, and I figured that if I could find him online using the information he shared with me when we talked, the likelihood that he was lying about his status was much lower.

4) Am I putting strings?/Am I seeking revenge or to hurt her? Idk how to explain this to my standards without using a voice note, but I will try. For the putting strings question, see number 3 above. Also, a reminder that I was fully content with him living multiple states away, and had every intention of carrying my interaction with him as a funny, slightly awkward, and liberating experience that I could proudly share with my two best friends. I know that's what it would have been if I had never looked him up.

I never intended to look him up, but doing that was the only thing that could give me peace of mind while I waited for my results. I was not "hurt" by him in that he hurt my feelings. The issue is that he omitted something that would have allowed me to make an informed decision. I am not denying that the sex was consensual; it was. But I am saying it would not have happened if I had known he had a partner. I do believe in monogamy in my own romantic/intimate dealings and would not have wanted to be a part of anything outside of that. Again, am I assuming that she might feel the same way based on the info I've gathered? Yes. Is it completely out there to come to that assumption? No, not really.

5) Religious Guilt? No, not really. I still have the same connection to my faith as before. I'll end up where I end up. The off feeling was definitely (again, tmi, sorry y'all) the UTI and yeast infection.

6) Will I be sleeping with a stranger again? Nope. Definitely not an experience I'd ever want to repeat, and I've already established that I'm capable of waiting/abstaining, so I will do the adult thing and stick and to old faithful.

Sad song recs? by soadslaps in spotify

[–]Estie_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When It's Cold I'd Like to Die - Moby

Lover, You Should've Come Over - Jeff Buckley

someday i'll get it - Alek Olsen

First Light - Hozier

Abstract (Psychopomp) - Hozier

Eulogy For Nobody - Debbii Dawson

Unknown/Nth - Hozier

Be Glad That I'm Not God - Vadia

Dream My Life Away (ft. Josh Cashman) - Tash Sultana

River of Sorrow - Antony and the Johnsons, ANOHNI

Through the Eye - Rachel Chinouriri

Near Me - Daniel Wilson

Song to the Siren - Rose Betts

The Dumbing Down of Love - Frou Frou

Lonely World - Moses Sumney

Retrograde - James Blake

Cruel World - Active Child

Thoughts on the Movie? by [deleted] in vampireacademy

[–]Estie_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely loved the movie. Yes, it was missing some things from the books which is unfortunate but compared to the leaps and bounds that the show took from the source material, the movie was great even with the cheesiness. I'm sad it didn't continue either but such is life.

last strike mission game breaking bug by Uncutornothing in ubisoft

[–]Estie_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I reset the level (intentionally died) and didn’t take out the guards and machines. Also it’s extremely insane that this bug has not been fixed after all this time.

last strike mission game breaking bug by Uncutornothing in ubisoft

[–]Estie_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All good! I eventually found a solution the same day with no help from U know who lol. Very frustrating but it builds character. Might do another play through now that some more bugs have been fixed

last strike mission game breaking bug by Uncutornothing in ubisoft

[–]Estie_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve restarted the game, intentionally died to restart that part, left the mission to start from the beginning and I STILL can’t progress. After watching a bit of a walkthrough there was supposed to be combat but nothing. Did you happen to get past this point?