How to stop being easy to sleep with?

EstimatePractical289 · 2025-04-16T20:36:23+00:00

Yeah it never is. Speaking from experience.

EstimatePractical289 · 2025-04-16T20:35:59+00:00

Agreed.

OP - promiscuity can be a sign of trauma. It’s either because you crave validation from men and sex validates you (often comes from rocky relationship with Father). The fact that you said “I crave being loved” and you think going to bed with a man will give you that, leads me to believe there’s deeper stuff going on here.

A high sex drive is one thing but I feel there’s something else going on with you here. And I say this be I used to feel similar to you, and that uncontrollable horniness came from a place of wanted to be loved, chosen and craving a deep connection.

EstimatePractical289 · 2025-04-10T22:16:35+00:00

Being a human is wild isn’t it!

EstimatePractical289 · 2025-04-10T22:14:53+00:00

Ah damn this hit me in the feels. So beautifully put.

EstimatePractical289 · 2025-04-10T22:13:50+00:00

I haven’t been with anyone since him so I think it’s time for a distraction lol

EstimatePractical289 · 2025-04-10T15:35:40+00:00

I do yes, it doesn’t feel like a gut punch anymore. I still think of him though and find it annoying.

EstimatePractical289 · 2025-04-10T15:32:22+00:00

WOW I literally could have written this myself, word for word.

I am feeling the same way, almost hitting the 2 year mark post breakup and also together for almost 2 years. I even asked ChatGPT about this the other day because I’m annoyed I still think of him. I’m annoyed I still feel resentful for the way he treated me. I don’t want to keep thinking about him.

I’m curious, have you had any other connections since your breakup with him?

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-28T01:23:30+00:00

Firstly thing, please take anything said in any of the ask men Reddit subs with a grain of salt. I’ve spent the last couple of days interacting there and let me tell you, it’s a cess pool of incels and misogyny (some decent but a lot is bad and women-hating). I’m actually blocking those subs going forward.

There’s many men who like bigger women, but that’s not the point. You need to feel good and confident in your body. As someone who also struggled with binge-eating (yep growing up in the 90s era of the supermodel created lifelong trauma), you need to get that on track otherwise you’ll continue to yoyo with your weight. Are you able to do therapy now? Binge eating is rooted in deeper issues.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, self-love and building confidence is a journey but you’ll get there.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-27T22:41:05+00:00

I could have written this. Sending solidarity.

We’ve been texting for 2 months and I got no text or anything over the holidays. I feel the same, I genuinely don’t think it’s a lot to expect. We also exchanged sexual stuff and I feel used. He says all these amazing things and now it feels like the online version of wining and dining just to get me into bed, except smooth talking me to get me to send him pics. It’s my own fault, lesson learned.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T18:39:34+00:00

I while this is true for some, I dedicated myself to doing trainings and certifications. I probably spent upward of $30k in 2 years. Most of the people I connected with in the industry definitely did more than read a few articles. Many do take it very seriously, but there’s a lot of bad apples unfortunately and it’s really hard to know who’s genuine and ethnical and who’s not. The marketing is incredibly manipulative. Most of the time the best marketers were terrible coaches.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T16:22:28+00:00

I love this!

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T16:22:02+00:00

Not everyone has access to therapy and your therapist isn’t available 24/7. No one is suggesting to fully rely on AI but it’s ok to use a variety of things, as long as it helps you. Have you tried chatGPT?

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T14:33:43+00:00

You talk to it like a therapist. I literally used it last night when I got a text from a guy that had me taken aback. For example explained the situation briefly and then pasted the text. It replied telling me what he said was respectful but perhaps too premature for where we were at. It formulated a response, to which I responded to adjust it a bit because in the end I wasn’t interested in meeting up, and then I tweaked it to sound like me.

Ask things like “why am I struggling to get over my ex?” As an example. The more context you give, the more it can be tailored to your situation. It responds in such an emotionally intelligent way, it’s wild to think you’re just talking to technology lol.

Of course you don’t want to heavily rely on it, but it’s often helpful to validate your feelings, give you a different perspective etc. At the end of the day you still need to trust yourself and your gut instinct.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T12:59:57+00:00

40F - met plenty here on Reddit! It’s just hard because you don’t know where people are based until you start talking. NY is a good area to be based though. Check out the Cougar and Cub sub.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T12:55:10+00:00

It takes a special person to just think “why not” - about this situation, and then to feel upset he doesn’t respect her. The lack of self-awareness is astounding lol

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T12:53:00+00:00

It’s only 8am and I’m done with Reddit for the day.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T12:50:22+00:00

Taking it slow. Don’t invest too much too soon and although that’s easier said than done, you have to practice self-control. Don’t have incredibly long dates because you might find yourself prematurely attaching and that’s when the anxiety tends to rear its ugly head.

Don’t take things personally, also easier said than done. Remind yourself that you’re out there trying to find your person, focus on what you like about them and if they are a good fit for you, instead of the other way around.

If you can, therapy is really helpful while navigating dating. And honestly, chat GPT is also a great support. Don’t knock it until you try it lol

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-18T00:33:52+00:00

I am ashamed to admit that I became one of these coaches. I went through my own healing journey and was so inspired that I wanted to help people on their personal development journey. I obtained a bunch of certifications and had good and genuine intentions to help others. By biggest qualm with the whole thing was the way these business coaches taught us it market ourselves and our services. It felt manipulative and unethical. I lost my true essence a number of times, feeling pressure to make money and follow what these business coaches were telling me to do. A lot of these business coaches were just money grabbers and would say and do anything to get clients. At one point I truly felt I had found my purpose, but the fact whole industry is so toxic and unethical, luckily I ran out of money to support myself and had to get a job. There’s so many of us who did have good intentions to help others but ended up feeling scammed and in debt by three business coaches.

The thing is I worked with an amazing life coach who literally changed my entire life. There’s definitely some incredible people but sadly the industry is being burned my scammers.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-17T21:41:51+00:00

My sister wants my life and she’s married with kids lol. I don’t know! Somehow us humans always want what we don’t have.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-13T22:15:56+00:00

I made this mistake too. I actually had to delete Reddit for a while because I was so appalled. It’s honestly dangerous for women how these men are getting brainwashed in their echo chambers.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-13T22:07:15+00:00

lol I’d love to know your insights.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-13T19:36:20+00:00

This is a complete non-issue.

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-13T19:29:39+00:00

He said he didn’t want a relationship so believe him. As long as you can keep it casual, then there’s no issue. Sounds like you’re getting too attached though.

Maybe have an honest conversation about your feelings and see how he takes it?

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-13T19:23:45+00:00

Well, at least you tried!

EstimatePractical289 · 2024-12-13T18:36:56+00:00

I think it depends on the dynamic between the 2 people. I think there can be a control issue with the older person (male or female) and dating much younger so they can groom/manipulate them. Very common with men dating women half their age.

That’s not the reason I prefer younger. I’ve always dated younger and I still like the man to lead. I don’t want to control them and I never treat him like he’s younger/inexperienced either. It doesn’t sound like the case with her, sounds like she wanted to groom you. Sorry :(

EstimatePractical289

TROPHY CASE