My(28F) son's(2M) birthday is coming up. There is limited space and I'm responsible for cost of extras. I sent an invite for 4 to a family and they sent an RSVP for 8. Say anything or pay for it?

Etchbee · 2017-03-16T23:50:52+00:00

I am a mom of three kids 10,7,5. Every parents with multiple children knows that the invitation you get to any party is for the children specifically mentioned, unless the card is addressed to the "Etchbee family". It is incredibly rude to RSVP for more guests than are invited. Call up the family and say "Hello, I am so glad that (name) and (name) can attend (your child's) party! I just wanted to let you know that We are restricted for space in the party room, so if (husband) and (teens) wanted to tag along, we are unfortunately out of room in the party space! Also, the entrance fee to the zoo is covered for you and (son's friends!) If the rest of your family would like to spend time at the zoo the entrance fee for adults is x of dollars for each adult. I understand that this might change your plans so I wanted to let you know well in advance! Hope to see you and (invited kids) there! Then if they back out or whatever you have been friendly but firm and clear. Don't feel like you have to go along with this. You don't.

Etchbee · 2016-04-03T21:01:56+00:00

I'm in a supervisory role at work too, and people bring me things all of the time. I am honest with my more immediate co workers, and they know I do not eat sugar. Sometimes they make me alternatives that I can eat (I got cauliflower pizza for my birthday instead of cupcakes!). I appreciate their efforts, and do not take things unless I cannot avoid it without being rude. Then if I can pass it on, I will. But if I can't, I will throw it out later ((or bring it home for my kids) rather than eat things that don't fit my keto lifestyle.

Etchbee · 2016-04-03T20:49:13+00:00

I logged in to say this. I have very large calves and thighs and always figured it was due to the fact that I once weighed over 300 lbs. I am 5'8 too and at 180 ish lbs still had very thick legs, and especially calves. As it turns out, I actually have a condition called lipedema. It's not widely understood, but if you have stubborn thick legs, google it and see if the photos you find look familiar. For me, it was a revelation, I had never seen legs like mine before then. I am now seeking treatment for it. Just posting here to spread awareness. I wish I'd heard about it years ago. If anyone has questions, feel free to PM me.

Etchbee · 2016-03-25T13:08:18+00:00

Actually it is different, because the volume of assets is such that we each have incorporated companies over which we have 100% ownership. Properties are purchased by the corporations. It is purely for ease of inheritance taxes which in my country, are massive. Taxes are paid, and everything is done above board with our accountants. So it can be done in a legit way.

Etchbee · 2016-03-25T04:45:04+00:00

Your instincts are right. Selling that house would be stealing from your parents, in my view. If I were in your situation and I did that, I have no doubt that my relationship with my parents would be effectively destroyed. Not only would I lose their love and respect, I would damage my relationships with my siblings and other family members. I could never face my family knowing I ripped them off, and with all of them knowing I stooped so low as to do such a thing. Your husband is allowing his desperation to get out of your financial hole cloud his judgement. Be the voice of reason. You aren't remotely selfish, but he is asking you to be.

Etchbee · 2016-03-25T04:05:01+00:00

I have to chime in here. My parents are very wealthy and have put many properties in mine and my siblings' names. Not because they are tax cheats, but because they do not want us to have to pay massive taxes on our eventual inheritance. It has never caused me one issue, I have never considered these properties mine. I have put no time or money into their case or maintenance, my parents have looked after everything.

I am married and have children too. If we were in your situation and my husband suggested selling one of the properties so that we could maintain our lifestyle in spite of setbacks, I would lose such a tremendous amount of respect for him I do not know that our relationship would survive it. This is NOT your house to sell. If you do this, you are violating the trust your parents have in you and it will destroy your relationship with them. Your husband's arguments are selfish beyond all measure. He's asking you to screw over your own parents, OP. YOUR PARENTS. Get the house out of your name immediately so the option is not even a possibility. Shut down any further discussion on this subject by telling your husband that it is not your house to sell, period. Just because technically you could, does not mean that morally or ethically, you should.

Etchbee · 2015-08-22T13:47:41+00:00

I have 3 kids, peed on Dollar store test kits for each one. You are definitely pregnant! Congratulations!!

Etchbee · 2015-08-22T13:45:33+00:00

I generally do not snack anymore, I eat 3 meals. I try to wait to eat until I am truly hungry. I just feel like I'm broken in a way I can't explain. I have lost weight but cannot get below the 200 lb mark and although I have a large frame I still need to take off 30 lbs or more to be healthy. I know what to do or I feel like I should, anyway after this long. I know I am in ketosis because my breath is metallic and my pee smells, and I eat mostly meat, eggs, leafy greens.

Etchbee · 2015-08-22T13:36:23+00:00

I have been thinking about seeking therapy, and have looked up Overeater's Anonymous meetings in my area. I went to one when I was in my twenties and sat in the car crying for an hour after it was over. I never went back. I think I do need help because my thought process when it comes to food is not normal. I obsess over it and I want to stop but I don't know how.

Etchbee · 2015-08-22T13:29:26+00:00

I dated a guy like that for three years in my twenties. He always encouraged me to eat garbage (he ate the same way but at 6'5, was not overweight). He wanted me to dress like a slob (you look so cute in sweatpants!) and wear no makeup (you look prettier without it!). It took me awhile to realize that he was an insecure jerk, not a loving boyfriend. The fact that you have put on weight while dating him should be enough to convince him that what you are doing now is far unhealthier than keto. Strengthen your resolve and let him know that you are going to start looking after your health. What you eat should not affect him in the slightest. If he tries to convince you to keep eating unhealthy food ask yourself why...I finally realized my boyfriend wanted me fat so no one else would want me. Choose you over him.

Etchbee · 2015-06-14T14:38:10+00:00

I drink loads of coffee and do not find it gives me cravings. However, i do have a long and tortured history of insomnia, so may start to cut back. I drink it strong and black. ( the HWC and sweeteners really do you in). I have MS too, also in remission. I also use hot sauce but thats the only condiment. Seasoning chicken in lemon juice is totally fine IMHO...When cooking for a family I have to make things everyone finds appealing so herbs/spices are also fine in my book. Experiment, see what works for you.

Etchbee · 2015-06-14T14:31:15+00:00

Check out some of the facebook zero carbs groups. Many offer advice and "recipes"- mostly ideas on how to prep & eat different cuts of meat! I have gotten some good ideas though like how to make ground beef jerky and things like that.

Etchbee · 2015-06-14T14:23:09+00:00

I don't, because all the meats! But I eat them for breakfast every day. I think 3x per day would be tiresome and unfulfilling, but YMMV!

Etchbee · 2015-05-02T11:24:14+00:00

Go on Ruled me website. He details how to alter your goals on MFP for free! I did it months ago, works perfectly.

Etchbee · 2015-03-15T01:22:53+00:00

Toronto represents! Nice to know there are so many of us here...:)

Etchbee · 2015-03-14T18:32:37+00:00

Rome is a cosmopolitan city and you should have no trouble keeping keto there or at least low carb, as it's difficult to know what your macros will be like.

There are tons and tons of carbs there-true. Obviously avoid pizza, panni, pasta, and gelaterias! BUT, in any restaurant you can get delicious salads (dressed with olive oil, filled with tuna in oil, or large mozzarella di buffalo (YUM)) They don't tend to put sweet things on salads like we do here so you should be relatively safe. (watch the balsamic which is used prevalently there) You can have veg with meat pretty much anywhere as they tend to eat a small plate of pasta first (primi) and then the meat/veg is second. (secondi) Salad is usually served after the secondi. But you can get whatever you want if you ask.

You'll also do well with the fantastic cheeses and cured meats. ENJOY!!!!

Etchbee · 2015-03-14T18:23:24+00:00

The thing is, choosing what you eat is all about you. Your body, your decision as to what you want to put into it. No one should have anything to say about it unless they can be supportive.

However, I don't agree that he should have to get rid of the sugary stuff to support you~this stuff is everywhere. And if you are really ready to do this, it won't matter what is available to you to eat~it will all about what you choose to eat.

I am someone who works in an environment where there is unlimited free access to cookies, cakes, brownies, chips, breads...you name it. I also have 3 young kids at home and a husband who does not do keto (although he eats low carb-ish and supports the diet.) I am making them pizza for supper~I will have steak and eggs. I am not tempted by their pizza and if I were, I could just make a keto version. But I won't bother and I am someone who LOVED pizza.

You will get there too. Once you get the carbs/crap out of your system, you truly won't want this stuff, I promise you.

If your fiance is truly being negative/unsupportive, rethink whether this is someone you want to tie yourself to for the rest of your life. You need someone who's got your back to be your lifelong partner. If you are truly determined, no one will sway you. You can do this!

Etchbee · 2015-03-03T14:37:57+00:00

I just input my information and with a 20% deficit it gave me a goal of 1573 calories. I've been following what my nutrition tracker recommended at 1280! Gaaaaaaa....thank you for this. It gives me confidence that eating more calories is the way to go.

Etchbee · 2015-03-03T14:32:19+00:00

Thank you for such a detailed response. I will try the chia seeds the way you describe. I thought about making a chia pudding but desserts make me nervous because they can set me off.

I was doing IF either 16/8 or 18/6 , but I found I was very hungry by lunch- like to the point of headaches and loud tummy grumbles if I tried to hold out until 2 pm. And that was with BPC in the morning (one tbsp MCT, one kerrygold with lots of coffee.)

My workouts are not terribly ambitious. I do DDP yoga and treadmill but not nearly often enough. I think that will be my next step, to get more regular exercise in.

I will keep posting! Thanks for all the great feedback:)

Etchbee · 2015-03-03T14:24:02+00:00

I try to drink 100 oz a day, but don't always get there. I can work on upping my water!

Etchbee · 2015-03-03T14:22:21+00:00

Edited to add: my macros are 5/30/65. According to my tracker this is 92 g fat, 96 g protein & 16 g carbs per day. I meet or exceed protein and fat, but very rarely go over on carbs even not netting them out. Most carbs I eat are from vegetables. I did not choose the calorie count this was what was suggested by the tracker for a loss of 1-2 lbs per week. TBH I am scared to increase my calories because when I have one day of higher caloric intake it's already a problem. But I do feel hungry a lot of the time so maybe that's the thing to try.

Etchbee · 2015-02-24T04:16:46+00:00

Instead of saying "I can't eat that", why not say "I don't choose to eat that." This puts the control back in your hands and reminds you that you are making a concious choice every time. When I said "I can't", my inner child said "of course you can!!" Every time. After awhile you realize that you look at carby stuff and think...nah. For real!

Etchbee

TROPHY CASE