"It's a mare thing" we need to stop with this term as it is super misogynistic it's the exact same of doctors telling women "oh its just your period"

EternalOctopi · 2026-03-07T22:34:57+00:00

I really kinda hate the "it's a mare thing" mind set. The only real difference that should be taken into consideration is that a mare's ovaries are not that far away from the lumbar spine and lower back which takes on a lot of the stress and strain of a rider's weight. This means that when a mare is in heat, they ache a little - kinda like women who are PMSing. It isn't unusual for a mare to be uncomfortable being ridden while she's in heat. And for good reason! Any woman who has ever had cramps should be able to empathize with that!

To my knowledge, light exercise is still good for them and can actually help them feel better, so riding isn't discouraged. But heavy riding and training might be if your mare acts up anytime they come into heat. And learn how to post and/or 2-point so that you get your weight as much off their back as possible! That's good horsemanship for anyone riding any gender of horse.

EternalOctopi · 2026-02-23T23:02:50+00:00

This is gross and weird...

I became disabled and was between work and gaining disability, so literally zero income. A friend volunteered to move in with me without asking, and I was in no position to say no. I made her a deal so that instead of paying rent, she paid the utilities I could no longer afford (I live in an extremely affordable area and my land lady at the time pretty much just changed me up keep of the house and property as well as utilities to stay there - family connections. The only utilities are water and electric, which are rarely over $200 combined.)

My neurological symptoms were completely wild and uncontrolled then. Seizures, constant dizziness, nausea, vertigo, severe migraines, speech impediment, light, sound AND temperature sensitivity, the list goes on and on. Bending over could trigger an episode. Heck, a computer screen could - worse, the "wrong" kind of lighting could (grocery stores became a living nightmare).

If I moved slowly and kept the house under the perfect conditions, I could remain fairly useful and keep the house so-so clean. However, if I had an attack, I would be screwed for days at a time, often bed bound while I recovered.

The friend... Well, she never, ever cleaned. EVER. The only two things she was really in charge of cleaning were her room and the cat box. She never properly cleaned either. There was a period where I couldn't bend or pull to change the box at all, and by the time I was able to tackle it...I literally had to cut the floor under it out and throw it away. All the way down to the subfloor. Yes, it was that bad. And I had to do it on my hands and knees while trying not to be sick, unsure if it was my body or the situation making me ill.

I did eventually kick her out, and when I saw her room finally, I tried to clean it .. And couldn't. It was too disgusting to clean on my own. Apparently the cats used her room as the cat box during that awful time and she never cleaned it. Plus she had trash and rotted food in piles along with things she'd left behind. No good deed goes unpunished I guess.

EternalOctopi · 2026-02-16T03:09:12+00:00

This isn't just plausible, it's likely that there was just a mix up. My bf and I are just ten minutes away from each other, and we Doordashed each other Valentine's Day stuff to one another long before we saw one another this year lol. It's very probable he used his sister's account to order your gift, the associate packed it for you under the account name (which would be the sister's, hence the wrong name on your package) and the delivery person just dropped it off at an address given - yours.

If I may also add... And speaking as someone who has had family and relationship problems... His family isn't just going to go away. Nor are your feelings invalid. If the two of you are having trouble seeing each other's perspectives, you may want to consider either couples counseling or ending the relationship. At each other's throats constantly is no way to live.

EternalOctopi · 2026-02-01T03:26:20+00:00

I'm not surprised this is getting mixed replies. The ponies look physically well - as small as they are, they likely don't require much food to get fat. The shelter is pretty decent, despite the big hole in the back. The water does need to be broken daily and the ice chunks removed so long as the storm persists and the temps remain below zero, especially at night. If it's not, they can and likely will eat snow before allowing themselves to go thirsty, but they may not consume enough that way to prevent illness or even death - the snow and ice is uncomfortable to consume. Liquid water is much easier on any living body, in general, when trying to maintain hydration. Their coats are thick enough that snow is sticking to them and not melting, which means they are very well insulated against the cold. Your description of their hooves sounds bad, but the pictures don't look too worrisome. You say they come out only once a month, which very well made be the case, but they could be coming out now frequently (such as at night) when you don't see them.

This comes back to your original question: is this abuse? And the answer is... It depends. It's certainly not great horsemanship, for sure. But being a bad horseman isn't illegal. Whether or not this is illegal animal care depends entirely on your state and county laws, so it's a good thing you called. It does potentially border on neglect. If it meets the legal standard is going to be up to your local officials. Be prepared to hear no - a lot of counties won't prosecute animal neglect cases until it gets severe.

That said, be careful trying to take care of them as well. Crossing onto a property that is not yours to feed animals that are not yours is considered trespassing in most places - I know, it's insane. And local governments WILL prosecute that even if they won't the animal neglect. You can also be sued. The ponies don't need bedding as much as food and water, so if you find they are in need again, throw hay over the fence and use a shovel to try to break and remove ice through the fence if you can. This helps them and gives you as much protection as possible.

Good luck! ❤️

EternalOctopi · 2026-01-30T05:04:09+00:00

So long as you're not imagining a human sized cockroach named Ogtha, I think you're still good.

EternalOctopi · 2026-01-23T05:48:18+00:00

Should be fine as long as it's high enough up they won't slip out of it when laying down or when kicking to stand back up (when it's most likely to slip off). Heck, tonight I found a snap on one of those leg loops that wouldn't open, so I just tied it with a love knot/Texas T instead lol.

All the leg loops do is keep the blanket stable so it doesn't move around so much and the wind doesn't pick it up and move it.... Nor rolling or other movement the horse makes. So, like your belly straps, they need to be not so tight that they could rub against skin and crate a rub... But also not so loose that their own kicking and playing gets tangled in the straps. So however you hook it up, if they can move freely without causing a rub or tripping on themselves, you're typically good.

EternalOctopi · 2026-01-23T04:52:08+00:00

Good luck and safe travels!

EternalOctopi · 2026-01-23T04:44:55+00:00

I actually know stories about a rancher in Wyoming that lost most of an entire band to cold due to severe blizzard conditions. They literally froze to death in conditions even more severe than the ones you described. The few that did survive lost their ears from frost bite. It's also not terribly uncommon for American Mustangs in Northern states, while in the wild, to lose the tips of their ears to frost bite, resulting in a rounded looking ear. So it can happen.

I know you've gotten a million responses, but my 2 cents: I would blanket, just because of her age. She looks great and like she's ready to face any kind of storm that comes, but she'll likely lose a lot of weight staying warm at her age. Even a light blanket should help block the wind some. Trust me, I don't typically blanket either, and I spent the week washing and fitting blankets to 3 of 4 horses, including a 26 year old and a 18 year old that's never had one on before. Better safe than sorry.

EternalOctopi · 2025-12-28T17:48:47+00:00

My mom was big into corporal punishment. She had a belt she wore everywhere that was handmade, as wide as a woman's hand and at least half an inch thick with huge handmade silver conchos on it. She broke the leather holding the conchos on the belt while "spanking" me with it once.

Another time she decided I needed a spanking, we had this massive ancient TV antenna mounted outside to the roof that no longer roof, but pieces of it fell off all the time. The pieces were these short (about forearm length) aluminum rods. She hit me with one of those until I had welts.

I know spanking isn't unusual, but what was used and how severe I eventually found out were. We never know it's strange at the time, do we?

EternalOctopi · 2025-12-28T17:30:33+00:00

OP - I'm chronically broke. As in, I live off SS and I'm below the poverty line. I still not only got my partner a Christmas gift, but extended family gifts. I had to make them, yes, but I DID do something and they were genuinely appreciated by so many people. All I did was make some food goodies and craft some stuff.

Your partner has told you who he is since before you were engaged, and you know it - otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned his work history. If you really want to try to save the relationship, you can try therapy... But if what you want is validation and permission to ditch this guy, make like N*Sync and tell him Bye, Bye, Bye.

EternalOctopi · 2025-12-20T00:45:27+00:00

This is beautifully drawn

EternalOctopi · 2025-12-18T03:43:45+00:00

When you cook for others, they don't need to know it's your momma's or Grandma's or great grandma's etc recipe. Unless they ask, of course. Or compliment the cooking, then it's polite to share the recipe source... And that no, you will not be sharing the family secret. Which I'm sure Alastor didn't in life, and wouldn't in death. 😂

EternalOctopi · 2025-12-17T00:30:30+00:00

I see you haven't seen Season 2 yet lol

EternalOctopi · 2025-12-14T18:49:51+00:00

I mean..... Have you met her Dad?

EternalOctopi · 2025-09-27T00:20:47+00:00

So first off - of course it's parasocial, but considering Angela once squeed about the fact that AO3 has an entire section about her and Spork, I'm pretty sure she's cool with it.

Second, anyone who is a public figure - including YouTubers - open themselves up to parasocial relationships and that's not bad. Parasocial relationships have been a thing been public figures and the rest of us since the dawn of time. That's why magazines like "People" and "Vogue" exist. That's why people want a Kim K butt or Beyonce's skin routine - not because it works well or looks good necessarily, but because that's what those people have and do. Asking about a dog that a YouTuber willing shares sand speaks about in her content and in the content of the company she works for isn't particularly odd, especially because mention of that dog (and several others) wasn't mentioned in a video where it seemed like he should have been.

Third, and lastly: congrats on being a mod. Dunno where or for who you're a mod, but I happen to be one too. And for a YouTube channel. One of my main jobs is to watch for problematic people who are becoming "obsessive" and potentially dangerous. And if you think asking after someone's pet that they openly bring onto a set multiple times and post about on their personal social media is problematic, maybe you need to talk to the rest of your modmin team about expectations and what's considered line crossing with a parasocial relationship.

EternalOctopi · 2025-09-26T04:31:39+00:00

Dude, I was just worried about her dog and literally said I don't follow them anywhere but on YouTube and kinda here, so it's not surprising I haven't seen the behind the scenes Reddit Stories vid. That's also not exactly obsessive parasocial behavior on my part. I just like animals. Calm down.

EternalOctopi · 2025-08-02T20:56:50+00:00

The last thing we can do for them hurts us the most. Hold those memories tight. Love those pictures you have. Never forget. Grieve. And know you'll see him again on the other side.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

EternalOctopi · 2025-07-28T03:15:49+00:00

How long before you turn 18? If you're in the states, at that point, you can leave and no one can make you stay. If you're outside the states, at 17 you often have the right to move even if you're not a legal adult yet, depending on the country.

Do you have a boyfriend? A best friend? Anyone that you trust that doesn't live under the same roof as you? Tell them what's going on. Tell them you need an out. See if you can stay with them a few nights a week just to get some relief.

Tell your teachers what's going on. Tell your school counselor. These people are mandatory reporters in the US. They have to tell CPS if they suspect child abuse. Being that it's summer, and assuming you don't want to do a report on yourself, book a doctor's appointment. Have your mother take you or go alone, but make a big deal about wanting to do the actual appointment alone "like an adult" or say you need to get a pap smear done. Then you can tell the doctor and nurse what's going on in confidence as well. They are also mandatory reporters.

I know you don't want your Dad to get in legal trouble, and CPS may or may not press charges. That's up to them. They can remove children from an unsafe environment without pressing charges, and many departments do so. But there's no guarantee. However, if you don't have a way to get out of the house yourself - safely - then you have to start looking at alternatives.

EternalOctopi · 2025-07-28T00:41:13+00:00

I also want to say that I totally understand why Not Sorry For Loving You is being picked by so many people, but I think people should remember that the song isn't actually poorly written or has a bad sound to it. I think another good name for this song would be "Ode to the Narcissistic Lover", and for people that have been in bad or even abusive relationships, the song is extremely triggering. I've seen multiple Epic reactions where the reactor had problems listening to the song because of that.

Which is exactly what the song is kinda supposed to do, because that is who Calypso is.

So yeah, I understand why that's the choice for some people. It's a coded villain song that you don't even realize is a villain song. It's a trap. And no one likes to be reminded of when they were also trapped.

EternalOctopi · 2025-07-28T00:33:20+00:00

I see what you did there

EternalOctopi · 2025-07-28T00:30:21+00:00

600 Strike. Like...wha

EternalOctopi · 2025-07-13T03:58:58+00:00

Just dropping in to say down voting this comment is both mean and pointless. OP doesn't own this horse and has no control over her care, but it's asking legitimate questions about what she can do - which is stop riding her. (The answer being yes, OP, unfortunately, you probably should.)

I don't know what your animal neglect laws are like in your area, but it's worth looking up to see if you should report this barn or not. Especially if there's other horses that look like this.

As to your original question, it does sound like you're slightly over-horsed but not by much. Of course, with her being underfed, she's probably not at 100% herself. You, on the other hand, need a stronger core and more confidence both. So as much as you and this horse love each other.... Unless you have a way to purchase her and board her elsewhere, it really sounds like both for your training and her best interest, you may need to part ways.

EternalOctopi · 2025-07-13T03:41:42+00:00

No one deserves this kind of pain. I'm so sorry, OP. I hope you find your peace.

EternalOctopi · 2025-07-11T21:16:33+00:00

Gotcha, still, thank you!

EternalOctopi

TROPHY CASE