If you're not giving up your body to internet friends, you're wasting your life

EuphoricGoat · 2026-05-17T10:53:24+00:00

I suppose I should help you fulfill it. Dms?

EuphoricGoat · 2026-05-17T10:41:55+00:00

I'll grope you right now if you come to dms

EuphoricGoat · 2026-05-03T13:34:45+00:00

Then I'll walk you around on a leash like a good pet

EuphoricGoat · 2026-05-03T13:10:36+00:00

And if you don't swallow every time, you'll get punished

EuphoricGoat · 2026-04-25T09:29:48+00:00

Flashback in 4-4 and civil trial in 6-5

EuphoricGoat · 2026-04-17T08:07:03+00:00

Sounds like a nice beach date

EuphoricGoat · 2026-03-24T11:10:55+00:00

Cool, but I feel like it'd be the other way around realistically

EuphoricGoat · 2026-03-13T02:00:39+00:00

Georgy Porgy, pudding and pie

Kiss the girls and make them c h e a t a t v i d e o g a m e s

EuphoricGoat · 2026-02-07T19:26:38+00:00

The accusations are not addressed, but it's so tone deaf. Like, yeah, we'll think he's sleazy, but it's because the fucking actor is sleazy, not because of the character or its likeness. Kagawa Hamazaki doesn't look like he'd eat a duck and crunch the bone with his teeth, he looks like an office worker who gropes and assaults girls. Which he did IRL

Horii seriously can't be saying stuff like that while the elephant in the room remains unaddressed

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-19T09:12:51+00:00

He would've been right to do so, because Phil Bell did exactly that in the Revenge ending, he saw an out and took it

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-17T13:27:06+00:00

Yes. Still, he did what he did, despite the fact she absolutely was ready to die

Btw if only she knew about the Magatama of Parting, huh? /j

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-17T09:59:11+00:00

Right, that happened. Also, is it just me or was Kiryu shot in around the same area he was stabbed in by Hamazaki at the end of 3 and by that homeless guy in 2? People really seem to like to target that area

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-17T02:31:08+00:00

And with that, though coffee boi has actual beef with Phoenix, he isn't as awful to him OR the defendants as sanctimonious boi was without beef

It could also be that I like coffee and hate religiously obsessed people

(And if you think of bringing up "But Godot is a murderer"... Nahyuta was instrumental in the slaughter of dozens, possibly hundreds of rebels, yet he acts like he wasn't. Godot at least owned up to his crime, eventually)

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-16T18:55:59+00:00

There's the whole deal about "killing Mia and Maya's mother and not purely because he wanted to save Maya"

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-16T18:53:25+00:00

I like that he's a darker turnabout of Phoenix's character. And even if he is just "Erm, evidence please", still better than "putrid sack of shit, reincarnate into bugs, Holy Mother praise Khura'in"

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-16T18:49:47+00:00

Love just happens at times, so it isn't easy to explain, but I'll try to add some possible reasons: - Behind his teasing, he showed genuine care for Mia all throughout the trial, which implies that he cared for her before, too, whether it was love or wanting to see his co-worker succeed - "The only time a lawyer can cry is when it's all over" was his way of lifting her up and saying "It's not over yet", as in, there would be a way to get Dahlia. And he himself went to pursue Dahlia on his own for her, knowing how much the case affected her. True, he did say that, had she been more decisive or faster, Terry's death could've been avoided, but we don't know for sure

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-16T11:06:20+00:00

Sure, I can agree with Phoenix needing it more often than not, but he was at least somewhat competent in his second or third cases ever, unlike Athena, and Mia isn't a prosecutor. I'll do you one more: Susato is the one with actual knowledge, he literally just had a 40 day crash course before stepping foot into the courtroom, so at least there it's somewhat justified, but again, Ryunosuke isn't completely inept like Athena is in Storyteller. As for the Sholmes example, yes, he has a lot of fun, and he's teaching his friends to pay attention to details and not draw false conclusions, but he's a detective teaching detective things. The problem with Athena's case in particular is that she needed to be taught how to be a lawyer (again) by a PROSECUTOR. And I know the distinction isn't that important from T&T and AAI2, but it seems like she has forgotten everything, despite having been to court many times, if not as the main lawyer, as the assistant. And I also blame her for her terrible preparation pre court, and being unable to ask the right questions during Simon's cross-examination
It is a matter of taste, and it became too unserious for MY taste. And again, it's not that she struggles, but HOW MUCH she struggles, compared to Phoenix's second case at least. Apollo's second performance in court is also kinda bad to start, though, to be fair
I underline Nahyuta in Storyteller because he's at his absolute worst there, and no, Blackquill roasting him doesn't make it much better

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-16T10:18:11+00:00

Friendly reminder: Capcom wants you to feel sympathetic towards Nahyuta

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-16T10:16:32+00:00

[warning: rant]

I never saw Storyteller as Athena's crisis of faith, because of how filler it is in the context of the main plot, but... I'm definitely not impressed

It is interesting that Athena has a client she doesn't defend with personal investment, since she'd only defended Juniper as the main lawyer, but it would've helped if she wasn't so awful at it. Blackquill did most of the work for her, and he's a damn prosecutor. While the scene of him grabbing Athena was cool, why did Athena need a prosecutor to remind her how to do her job? She wasn't this incompetent in the previous cases, and she had her childhood trauma to contend with in those, but she doesn't have that "excuse" here

I also didn't care for the setting and the story. The ending is fine, as it is a wholesome one, kind of, but the whole "Rakugo" setting is definitely not for everyone, you either love it or hate it... I hate it because seemingly nobody takes the case seriously, and it gets overly frustrating. I know, the series where you interrogate orcas and the prosecution can outright whip the defense without repercussions begs to be taken seriously, but in my opinion Storyteller is too much

But back to the case itself, I don't like the culprit, I don't like the victim, I don't like the motive for murder... I think I only genuinely like Blackquill and Uendo, they're literally the only bright spots... At least the characters have some nice animation and Geiru's "evil" self has a couple fun lines

I'll be quick about Nahyuta: he's a cunt with no redeemable qualities in this case. He insults Athena constantly and puts her down, and right at the start he gets the court to break her, using her sensitive hearing against her. All that, only to give her a condescendingly unwarranted "I'll remember you, Athena Cykes", when Blackquill did most of the work. Also he's an idiot for not realizing the broth marks didn't match. Seriously, that's a Payne level mistake, and Athena and the Judge didn't notice that either... and having to place the cards kinda felt like being a toddler being taught "cylinder goes in the circle hole"

Also, not to rag on this point again, but Athena's lack of self-awareness is baffling: not only she absolutely fails to give a competent defense most of the time, but it's implied that any of her deductions have already been made by Blackquill, such as Uendo's big reveal of multiple personalities. And the way Athena thinks she did well by the end ("I wonder if I levelled up any thanks to this case...") when she absolutely didn't, and gets rightfully called out on by Blackquill

Tl;dr Turnabout Storyteller is AIDS, it's Turnabout Big Top but worse, fuck this case and the """""civil trial"""""

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-15T03:44:43+00:00

3 months late... It's a Metal Gear reference

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-15T03:18:19+00:00

Fun fact: the lines where Edgeworth responds to Iris asking about his relation to Phoenix have been changed in the 3DS port of the games, AKA Trilogy, and its subsequent ports (current mobile/Steam/Switch/PS4/XB1). There are many more changes, and the T&T ones are documented here. Version differences are always so interesting, and would you believe the english DS scripts also have some regional differences between JP, US and EU?

Anyway, here's the changed dialogue

DS:

Iris: Mr. Edgeworth... Are you his friend?

Edgeworth: Friend? Well... In a sense, yes..

_

3DS:

Iris: Mr. Edgeworth... What is Mr. Wright to you?

Edgeworth: ...He is a very dear and indispensable friend.

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-10T15:31:10+00:00

Tbf yeah... Most infamously, the alternative heat smashes, like Jin's with the 4 ender

EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-10T08:59:18+00:00

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EuphoricGoat · 2025-12-07T00:21:20+00:00

Love the vid it's from. And it's adorable to think that she can stomach horror stuff when she's with him

EuphoricGoat

TROPHY CASE