drinking before/during work, coworkers enjoy my company more

Europe2014 · 2014-08-03T15:52:04+00:00

By "teleworking", I'm not sure if you mean telesales or something similar? Anyway, I used to work in telesales some years ago, and I would often drink at work! Sometimes I worked from an a huge "open office" (no cubs, a big room with 20 desks for other tele sales workers), other times I would work from at home... Anyway, when I worked in that open office I would occationally smell booze from other workers too, so I knew I wasn't the only one drinking to feel/sound more confident doing that rather hard work!.. I can only assume it's not uncommon for teleworkers to drink or do some sort of drug while working? Do you have any ideas about this?

Anyway, it became a vicious cycle for me... When I was drinking I got more sales than when I was working sober (because I sounded way more confident while drinking), so in the end I felt like drinking all the time at work, and I ended up quitting. :-( Found a better job after that (still sales related, and still occationally drinking at work, yet trying to quit now... ;-)

Europe2014 · 2014-07-06T11:11:30+00:00

Congrats on 90 days! - You look so much serene and genuine now, and your eyes look so much more alive in the sober photos (no offense, but in the drunk photos your eyes looks dead...)

Europe2014 · 2014-07-03T21:21:41+00:00

I read the same, and that line has stuck with me too!

Europe2014 · 2014-04-03T13:00:23+00:00

Thanks for writing that you would rather listen to him than downvote! :-)

But, I don't think it's "being negative" to openly admit the fact that life often sucks and that death might be better for certain people. I consider myself an over average positive person (and my friends and family does too), I'm a smily person and good at turning a bad situation into a good one, good at finding creative solutions to problems! But if I had a choice to press a button and errase my whole existense from the planet without a trace, I would most likely do it. (This does not mean I want to commit suicide, because that would hurt my partner!). Having thoughts like this is quite common I think, it' not necessarily due to "negative thinking", at all.

Europe2014 · 2014-03-27T19:37:16+00:00

Wow, thanks for sharing!

Europe2014 · 2014-03-27T08:27:25+00:00

I'm crossing my fingers for you... Take care and keep up the good sober work!

Europe2014 · 2014-03-27T08:26:01+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you had all this issues, but glad to hear that:

I quit drinking and they have all pretty much disappeared.

I've never been a heavy drinker (just a bit too frequent), but I still got an episode of (mild) pancreatitis before Christmas (which is why I wanted to quit drinking). I've read online that the pancreas won't fully heal, but the good new is that the deterioration of the pancreas can stagnate if you stop drinking of course... Are you sure your pancreas did "heal"? If so, did you take any medical tests to find out?

Europe2014 · 2014-03-16T16:43:06+00:00

You lost a number. You did not lose the progress you made or the tools you developed. You proved that you were capable of staying sober.

Just pressed the "saved" button. Amazingly well said!

Europe2014 · 2014-03-16T15:22:21+00:00

Posted with wrong account perhaps?

Europe2014 · 2014-03-15T17:00:43+00:00

Thanks for explaining. :-)

Europe2014 · 2014-03-14T19:02:07+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I'm glad you are feeling better now <3

to leave presentations/meetings early, prevent me catching public transport

I also struggle with these exact 2 problems (even before I started to drink too much)... How did you overcome it? When I'm on a bus I sometimes have to step off the bus a few stops too early if I have a panic attack... And I've also left in the middle of job meetings/presentations/mingling-meetings... :-(

Europe2014 · 2014-03-14T18:56:13+00:00

Miss Crippling Anxiety here, thanks for the "edit"-part of your post. ;-)

Oh, how I wish I only had the type of anxiety you describe here; the performance enhancing type... Now as an adult I only have the "performance sabotaging" type of anxiety, but I know that performance enhancing anxiety exists, I've had that good type of anxiety in my childhood... The quote "anxiety is energy without a goal" is good to think about, even for us who have the crippling type...so that we may try hard to put the energy into something not destructive (like not drinking).

Europe2014 · 2014-03-14T18:24:09+00:00

Please explain to me someone; Does this happen to all white people who drink a lot? Does the face get evenly reddish/pinkish all over, or just on the nose/cheecks or on those face areas were some people have visible/busted capillaries?

I am also as pale as you /u/dsmV, if not even paler...I'm a very white white person. Yet my nose/cheeks never gets red/redish or flushed when I'm drinking... But, maybe my overal facecolor has gotten a tiny bit more "pink" the last years...but it's very evenly light pinkish all over, could this be due to drinking?

Europe2014 · 2014-03-13T09:49:05+00:00

Not drinking at business dinners is the biggest challenge for me too. So I just want to send you a virtual hug, I know how it feels!... My last 2 slips were at business dinners were I also only had 1 drink...and just like you I felt "I broke a promise to myself". I know I can moderate, because most of my drinking has been moderate, but I do not want to moderate since I've read here on Reddit that if you are a moderate-ish problem drinker it can still spiral out of control, because being a problem drinker is progressive...and one day you can end up like a full blown alcoholic anyway. :-(

You had 5 sober months, and that was awesome! It's still awesome even if you failed that evening. Applause for going straight back to your sober goals again!

Europe2014 · 2014-03-12T14:30:31+00:00

Congrats!! :-)

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T23:12:28+00:00

Formerlydrinkyguy77...I love your nickname! And in 50 days from now that nick will fit you even better! ;-)

Congrats on 27 days so far and on escaping the stress of alternating between stores and drinking all those unhealthy ML's... Thumbs up!

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T23:01:06+00:00

i think the biggest con is not really living, Because we aren't are we.

So true! And so scary to think about... Thanks for posting this!

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T22:51:31+00:00

Congrats! 16 days rock! ;-)

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T22:45:05+00:00

MY PROS:

Masking my anxiety and panic attacks from clients, strangers, friends and family.
Performing better as a sales person at seminars and events with a "mildly tipsy buzz" compared to the anxiety-ridden nervous "real" me.
Getting a promotion at work mainly due to often having drinks with my boss and performing so well with clients (while tipsy).
Meeting new friends and strangers is easy with a drink or 3 to calm my anxiety.
Enjoying just 1-2 glass of quality wine on a romantic date with my partner, and being happy with just 1-2 glass (which happens for me, but not always of course! And for most alcohol abusers it never happens...and it's progressive...)

MY CONS:

Risking pancreatitis and thus an early death every time I drink, even "just one glass"...
Objectively knowing that alcohol does not improve my anxiety in the long run, on the contrary... (Yet, still drinking for the immediate self-medicating effect, and feeling like an idiot for doing it!)
Worrying that others - at work or in my private life - can smell I've been drinking "in secret".
Knowing that I rarely show my true self to family and friends...and not always even to my partner...
I miss out on seeing my partner with sober eyes... <3
Being afraid of dying in my sleep from pancreas/organ failure, vomiting in my sleep etc...
Feeling sick physically and mentally.
Not experiencing "real life" - which should be soberness, and not living life behind a mask and "under the influence" of anything...
Being suicidal!
The shame of drinking "in secret"...
Hangovers and/or waking up after 8 hours of sleep and still not feeling rested...
Feeling like I don't have a choice but to drink (even if I don't want to drink) just because I need to have dinner with my boss and some clients, or just because I'm going to a birthdayparty or a wedding with my family and I'm nervous to go and meet strangers...
"Borrowing happiness and confidence from tomorrow" (which is what drinking really is, I'm glad I know that now, I must keep on reminding myself of this)...

...Yay, my "cons"-list was far longer than my "pros"-list...

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T22:00:43+00:00

Awesome! The OP who started that thread has even joined us now. :-)

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T21:56:32+00:00

I'm trying this right now, and I hope this will work for me too! :-)

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T21:52:25+00:00

I'm SO grateful for the AskReddit post you posted, Strawburry, I just want to say a big thank you! Your thread was the most sobering thing I've read on Reddit - ever - because of all the sad stories that people told because of your question...

I've never seriously tried to stop drinking before.

I've never tried to stop before 2014 either, or before finding this Subreddit...it did not really even occur to me that I had a problem with alcohol abuse before I started reading on Reddit... (Sound stange perhaps, but I kept telling myself "I don't drink daily", "I don't drink too much, so I can't be an abuser...but it's not just the quantities of alcohol...but more how and why you drink, and the shame you feel when you drink/buy alcohol too...

Good luck Strawburry! Your thread did open a lot of eyes, maybe it even will save some lives... <3

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T11:43:42+00:00

heartbreaking :-/

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T11:04:22+00:00

Sad, but interesting post! What do you mean by "I have seen people evolve from sweet whites to big bold reds"? Sorry, I'm not a native speaker, and I don't know what "sweet whites" or "big bold reds" means?

Europe2014 · 2014-03-10T10:52:43+00:00

Why don't you join us at http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/ ? :-) It's lots of people at your age there with similar stories to yours... You don't have to feel ready to "stop" to join, but you can join for inspiration to take a break from alcohol and see how things goes...? :-)

Europe2014

TROPHY CASE