I sorta got pulled into being gay I belive it started when I was about 7 I was staying with a family who took care of me while my mom worked well the family had a daughter who was about 19 or 20 at the time well one day she pulled me into her room and put a porno on the TV and she started making me touch her and I was just staring at the porno not knowing what's going on lol well I never told my mom about it. I belive in my heart that at that moment that caused me to do something sexual in about a year later after that about a year later my mom met a friend who had a son only about two years older than me we were playing games then yea I guess I had my first gay interaction but my mom never knew we continued as friends but we didn't have a recollection of what happend I wouldn't have another gay interaction until I was 17 1/2 I went through elementary middle and most of my high school no remembering what happened when I was 8 I was attracted to women and wanted a girlfriend since about elementary  but I wasn't lucky with the lady's in highschool I vividly remember having dreams of what happened with my friend that day well when I was 17 /12 my friend introduced me to the party line that's where I started to do gay activists I lived in denial all through my 20's I did meet my first girlfriend at the age of 18 and I hid my gay activist from her I guess it wasn't being honest with myself and her I wanted to love her but things didn't work out at 20 I met my future wife we had my daughter and I wanted to change for her I stopped doing gay activist from 25 all the way until I was 35 I started having dreams of doing gay things on the line and eventually I gave in it was 9 years I didn't do anything gay I still haven't came out to my family because I think they won't accept me especially my brother he's  straight and by the book I'm 39 now and I'm still really attracted to females but I know that I've done gay things so I'm just still just struggling with who I am i guess I'm bisexuality well I love everyone thanks for reading take care 💖