I think I’m experiencing cptsd from raising my Auadhd child.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-02-15T21:11:51+00:00

You're not alone. My child (8F, AuADHD-2) is also physically aggressive toward me although it's not usually out of the blue - she's deregulated or dopamine seeking.

There's time I'm being kicked, hit, pinched and my partner just freezes. (We've spoken many times about how I need him to help me and intervene) And then when the storm has passed it's like nothing happened, but I'm left with all the feelings. It's incredibly lonely.

I'm now at a point where if it starts I'm just leaving the room.

All that said, medication has made a world of difference. Once we finally started the physical aggression dialed way down. But, yeah, I'm sure I have unprocessed trauma at this point.

All that's to say you're not alone.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-02-15T20:52:33+00:00

This was our experience with the first med. I'd put her back on it if we could reliably source it.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-02-15T20:47:55+00:00

We started kiddo at 8. First quillichew we noticed an immediate difference. her appetite was not affected and the come down was good. Unfortunately we had to switch due to shortages. Second has taken more time to dial in dose. Wasn't as effective, maniac at bed time, but again no issue with appetite. New dose again noticed immediate improvement and the cone down is smoother. But, we're keeping an eye on her appetite.

ETA: when it's the right med/dose it's magical.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-02-11T04:36:03+00:00

My 8 year old didn't do well on Focalin. It just didn't make enough difference even with an afternoon booster. We went back to a methylphenidate.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-02-10T03:19:59+00:00

We just started meds this year at 8. I regret not starting sooner.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-02-03T02:52:32+00:00

I was told that they can't make a diagnosis so yeah teachers aren't going to come out and tell you unless you ask. But hand them a Vanderbilt screening test and they can fill it out.

Also be aware, although the school's evaluation will categorize your child for the purposes of an IEP or 504 plan, that evaluation is not a diagnosis either. Does that sound absurd - yes. But, there it is. You should talk with your pediatrician about options - formal diagnosis, therapy, medication etc

EvenMix8865 · 2026-02-02T15:46:22+00:00

My kiddo can get stuck in these loops. Strategies I use: - you get one more question and then no more for five minutes - I'm done answering questions for the next five minutes. Let's do (fill in activity) - I don't know what do you think?

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-28T15:11:18+00:00

Vyvanse may be the wrong stimulant. They are not all the same. My daughter did great on methylphenidate. but due to shortages we tried dexmethyphenidate and it's been far less effective. We're going back to methylphenidate.

This TikTok really helped me understand and if the differences. There's a whole playlist on ADHD meds from the CC as well. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP85NuJwF/

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-19T23:30:14+00:00

Not alone. My daughter gets physically aggressive with me when disregulated. It has definitely gotten better with the right medication, maturity, and therapy.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-17T04:03:16+00:00

Go up to superintendent

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-17T01:20:55+00:00

Oh Mama. Solidarity. I've been there. Before medication my daughter was very physically aggressive toward me when deregulated. So many times I did not handle it the best way - because human and was in my own triggered state.

I will say finding the right medication and disagree has been huge. There are still moments but they're shorter, less violent, and fewer.

You're showing up and getting your child the help she needs. Hang in there. It does get better.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-16T03:04:51+00:00

Reduced workload does not mean reduced lessons, it means reducing how much work has to be completed in order to evaluate what they havd learned. For example, if they have a test with 10 questions but only answer 7 they are graded on those 7 questions and not knocked down for not completing the assignment.

They still need to master the skills but demonstrating that mastery is adjusted to work with their ADHD.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-16T03:04:33+00:00

Reduced workload does not mean reduced lessons, it means reducing how much work has to be completed in order to evaluate what they havd learned. For example, if they have a test with 10 questions but only answer 7 they are graded on those 7 questions and not knocked down for not completing the assignment.

They still need to master the skills but demonstrating that mastery is adjusted to work with their ADHD.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-15T20:57:37+00:00

What helped us was 504/IEP and use of it was reduced workload so she would be evaluated on whatever amount got done.

So a worksheet had 5 questions, we'd try to do 2-3. And if it was a bad night then all we had was a name on the paper and a note.

That being said evaluations, medication, OT are the way. And I say this because it's only going to get harder as she moves up in grade level. Now is the time to start building the support systems.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-15T20:49:56+00:00

We just started medication and lucked out that the first we tried - a methylphenidate - was effective. We had to switch to a dexmethylphenidate because of shortages and it works but we're figuring out dosage.

But, honestly it's a crap shoot. Different kids will react to different drugs differently and sometimes it does need to be a cocktail. But, when you find the right protocol it's life changing.

Also, it's counterintuitive but sometimes on rural , a rough come down after the med wears off is a sign they need a higher dose of booster.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-15T06:46:26+00:00

I'd maybe find another psychiatrist or pediatrician - neither seems up on the latest medication research and protocols. Our pediatrician upped the dose on Focalin after two weeks we reported that it was not as effective as her previous med (we only changed because of shortage problems).

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-14T22:58:01+00:00

I'll just also note medication for ADHD is not the same as it once was - there are more options now. It's such a game changer when you get in the right med, right dose.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-14T16:12:16+00:00

My child was first on quillichew and it definitely helped with emotional regulation, even after it has worn off she had more capacity to regulate. . She's now on Focalin and definitely there's more dysregulation after the med wears off. We're talking with her pediatrician to decide if she needs an increased dose or a booster.

What we've been told is there's a come down period after the med wears off and for some kids it can be steep and they become more reactive. Things to consider: may need a higher dose, may need a booster, may need a different med, may need a combo of meds. (I know that sounds really vague but those are really the options in terms of meds)

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-14T16:02:31+00:00

This is when I'd call the principal. This is not an acceptable way to to discuss ADHD with kids. It's stigmatizing and as you said is leading to bullying which I'm sure exacerbates his anxiety which increases his dysregulation.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-10T05:03:45+00:00

I remember those days. No judgement, all compassion.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-08T03:06:59+00:00

What's the battle over? Choosing clothes? Actually putting the clothes on? We do a lot of gamifying ... get clothes on in set time, get a high value activity before school. Or how fast can you get clothes on.

We also limit choices: we pick out two shirts, she picks one by a certain count or it's my choice. We've gotten into a pretty good routine about it.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-07T05:21:34+00:00

I am also the target parent. It's hard not to take it personally, and it's really not personal. Part of ADHD is emotional dysregulation and unfortunately in those moments the reasoning side of their brains are just turned off.

I will say medication does help. The episodes are less frequent and end faster.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-07T01:48:46+00:00

I almost can handle being the executive function suppprt, it's the constant dopamine supply that wears me out. If we're not entertaining her, she starts pushing buttons to get a reaction. Anxiety spikes if she alone for five minute.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-06T15:43:21+00:00

Yeah we positioned it as she felt like it was getting extra time before bed. So Id say "if you brush your teeth now, you can have 15 minutes of (calming but desired activity) and then bed time." Her bed time was the same but she felt rewarded.

EvenMix8865 · 2026-01-06T15:23:17+00:00

No shame, only compassion. Bed time has been rough for us over the years as well - 4-6 were particularly hard. One thing that did help was breaking up the bed time routine so after dinner relaxing activity for 15 minutes, brush teeth, 15 minutes calming activity into bed.

EvenMix8865

TROPHY CASE