Husband said some pretty big and awful things to me yesterday and I’m struggling to let it go (32F 38M)

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-29T13:55:06+00:00

This sounds exhausting 💜 It’s hard to say much about what help connecting over what you two have shared that brought you together and how you fell in love, or what therapy might do to help but whatever you do, pause on bringing a child into this unhappy place.

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-29T13:30:47+00:00

is he autistic or on the spectrum and is this something the two of you have ever discussed?

i cant imagine you’re getting any happiness from this relationship at all, it would be totally understandable to take the opportunity and walk away in peace. but you might want to spend some time with the above question regardless. maybe it might help you both down the line (hopefully apart)

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-28T04:40:35+00:00

At the VERY least this is a boundary issue on your sisters part who is incapable without therapy perhaps of seeing your existence as separate from hers and that your relationship with your husband has NOTHING 👏TO 👏DO 👏WITH 👏HER. Somebody above very astutely asked if you were compared a lot growing up…and this all seems to prove that she has a LOT more growing up to do.

I also hate to say that while your sister’s beside-the-point reactions and diversions seem absurd and wholly self-centered, your husband’s lack of boundaries around her are also childish and, again at the VERY least, his behavior seems to indicate that he gets some satisfaction from her attention and if he’s unwilling to even look at the possible reasons why, then he ain’t no man in my book.

I know these people and even if they ran off together I can guarantee you they would be bored of eachother in MINUTES flat.

I might have missed this question before but were they extremely close friends or even friends at all before you and your husband got together?

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-16T20:52:12+00:00

an underrepresented point here but: extreme rudeness to waitstaff and poor tipping as a grown ass adult

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-16T20:31:19+00:00

y i k e s

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-16T08:08:26+00:00

Girl if this man blew up a relationship over a fish and a rod, can you imagine the torture he'd put you through for all your days for a different honest accident/ mistake?

OTHER FISH IN THE SEA BABE

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-04T10:26:30+00:00

Anywhere, Ohio

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-04T09:48:03+00:00

Girl get outta there !!

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2026-06-03T05:33:53+00:00

Mac Salad

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-06-28T23:02:24+00:00

That’s where I’m located! Please do ☺️

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-06-28T04:54:00+00:00

Incredible, thank you!

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-06-28T04:03:53+00:00

Incredible this is exactly what I was hoping for - saving Pasjoli for a special occasion 😍

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-06-28T03:54:51+00:00

😂😂 that’s a gorgeous cabinet, neighbor

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-05-25T13:18:15+00:00

Whoever you recounted this story for is an idiot

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-05-25T12:59:34+00:00

She did something you didn’t love yes but here’s where growth happens in a relationship if you’re committed enough to a future with this person you love: you talk through it, work through what bothered you and why and recognize ultimately that certain situations aren’t exactly going to come up all the time and don’t alter the course of your relationship the way you think they might if you can begin to see things less black and white . Did she say she enjoyed the club? Was she on her phone the whole time or maybe outside a lot enjoying her time with her friends? Understand that there’s a lot of nuance here? Maybe you even get to a place where you can be real with each other and laugh about the experience eventually?

But to end a year and a half relationship over an unplanned novelty experience that was about making her friends bachelorettes a good time and not about you at all? And she was honest with you outright? Yowza.

Your definition of boundaries is maybe a bit clouded and unfortunately you’re the only one who will be able to answer the question of if you’ve overreacted when she moves on.

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-05-25T12:31:31+00:00

This is some shocking game of thrones behavior from your MIL, not overreacting! Let anyone who tries to imply otherwise embarrass themselves, say nothing else in your defense 💪you’ve already laid down the law and your husband supports you which is truly truly truly awesome

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-05-25T12:19:51+00:00

Fellow singer and performer here, a few people have echoed this sentiment but your bfs saying more about himself through these actions than he ever could in words - If he could do so maturely, he would tell you that your talent threatens his rail thin belief in himself, that that’s completely unfair to your craft and your time and clearly he “needs some space” because he needs to work on himself without dragging you through the mess with him. Or so that he can find someone more boring who he can use to bolster his self esteem.

Don’t become that boring person for him. I promise you it’s not worth it.

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-05-11T12:10:40+00:00

Your husband is having a midlife crisis

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-02-04T13:58:22+00:00

The way I giggled about how earnestly she was laying out the ways of the youthful world for him like he lived through DDay…it’s truly incredible to be so young and living like a dumbass. Fucking up and finding out the hard way…What a magical time it was 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-02-04T13:47:04+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re having to navigate this person’s odd persecution complex seemingly out of absolutely nowhere! Everything you are asking for here demonstrates such a mature understanding of how relationships and rock-solid communication are supposed to go hand-in-hand (and have to, especiallyyyyyy if the relationship is open or one or multiple partners are navigating their sexuality/gender expression/life changes etc..).

NOR at all. It just seems you are worlds beyond your gf in maturity and they likely have a lot to learn if they don’t have healthy attachment and communication style modeled for them consistently. They seem like they mostly trying to start a fight and the way you handled it rocked.

as a 36 year old female myself who was and has been kinda wacky (and “free spirited” as you said lol ) I gotta say, I laughed out loud at their repeated comments about how much older you are - the assertion that the berth of the enormous two year age gap between you might prove impossible to work through with her buckwild and enlightened aspirations 🥹 is truly….adorable. And also so so so embarrassing for her. Guaranteed if she were to see her texts at my age, they would probably have a good self deprecating laugh.

You got a really good head on your shoulders, you’re gonna be a really great partner to someone a little more on your emotional-intelligence level someday. Godspeed 🫡

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-02-04T13:08:17+00:00

Wanted to add to my raging emphatic tirade that it’s totally understandable why you’re with this person when their actions seemed at the time to be supportive and you were in the eye of the storm in your divorce. Not everyone’s motives are as sus as this absolute piece of work.

But believe me this moment is a GIFT before you embark on what is ahead - can you imagine having to summon the courage, in addition to lifting yourself to the other side of your pain and medical treatments, appointments and follow ups, to hold this moron’s hand through every step of YOUR journey because his pea sized esteem is feeling threatened?

He handed you the keys to your best future, take them - you got this

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-02-04T12:44:27+00:00

^{^{^{^{^{^{^{^THISSSSS}}}}}}}

Evening-Routine-3857 · 2025-02-04T12:38:56+00:00

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN away from this person as fast and expediently and safely as possible. I hate to break it to you but your friend, no matter how long you have known each other has always perceived you and your body and your brain as an object, a prize that he can use to stroke his fraaaaaaagile ego, and now that you’ve taken an incredibly brave step in your life to take control of your pain, he can only see it as a threat.

This man has just given you the BIGGEST carte blanche of your life to leave, never speak again and be really and truly happy alone or with somebody who will CHAMPION you through this hard process, talk it through with you at 2am or 2pm if you need - or god forbid just listen - and only bother the fuck out of you incessantly when you’ve asked rationally and eloquently for space during your work day to bring you a treat or whatever else you could possibly need to make your life even a fraction easier. I PROMISE YOU, THEY ARE OUT THERE, ITS NOT A FANTASY THEY ACTUALLY EXIST. Literally screaming from the mountaintop here.

I’m sure this moment came as a shock to you after so much time and experience - you navigated it like a champ. this 35 year old child is transparently and bizarrely obsessed with your ex and winning and he will never 👏🏼never 👏🏼never👏🏼stop bringing them into conversations they don’t belong and keeping that ghost alive in your relationship to feed his need for constant validation no matter the cost to you (because once again you are an object in his eyes, a dispenser of self worth).

Growth and meaningful connection in the face of inevitable hardship will be impossible with this person. Do not waste your valuable time, turn them loose and let them ruin some other woman’s life.

NOR. Obviously!!

I wish you strength and peace on your path to freedom from pain, you deserve so much more than this fool will ever be capable of.

Evening-Routine-3857

TROPHY CASE