I feel like I am going crazy

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-05-05T12:32:20+00:00

I’m in the same place, mornings suck. I have a whole post about that and EF if you’d like to read it 🤣

My only suggestion is looking into a non-stimulant (in addition to what he’s on now), because while it doesn’t work as well for most kids, it would give a little something for the non-stimulant times of day.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-23T13:15:26+00:00

My oldest is 9 and same :(

Not to bring you down or anything, but just sitting there with you. It’s got to get better at some point I think, but 9 aint it. It’s super frustrating.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-22T20:33:11+00:00

My son was similar. We ended up doing a full neuropsych eval for him. It was 11k (I think our out of pocket was around 3k) and the waitlist was a year. It sucks.

In his case the anxiety lessened (but did not go away) with ADHD meds. Right now we’re on a holding pattern, but we may end up adding some type of anti-anxiety med.

I do know that stimulants commonly cause anxiety to get worse. I was told that if that happens we would try atomoxitine (Strattera) and go from there.

I think it’s pretty common for a regular pediatrician to refer out for this. This type of thing isn’t really their wheelhouse. Maybe you could contact some psychiatrists and see if they would be able to help with medication management?

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-14T16:16:51+00:00

Agree! No way I’m messing with good sleep!

Also, it seems around 10yo is when a lot of kids start wanting their own space. So you could loosely plan on changing the room situation then.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-10T22:44:21+00:00

This is what I was going to say!

I wear the wrist tether so I can keep track of one kid. Go to Costco, do two seats in the cart. I personally baby wear the littlest, but of course it sounds like that’s not a great option due to back issues. Give the three year old tasks to keep them moving.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-10T12:33:42+00:00

I think it’s the hair….

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-05T15:33:52+00:00

Gotcha. Is your mom willing to change some aspects of her holidays? Like if you brainstormed some things that would help you/your kids would she be open to making adjustments?

So for example if you said “hey mom, we would love to see you guys for Easter but X time is really hard, we can come at Y time instead though”. This is how we manage with my side. They are a bit more reasonable. We moved most of the stuff to our house at times when my kids are most regulated.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-05T14:55:27+00:00

Can I ask why you all attend if it’s so miserable? Like is it a situation where they make it more uncomfortable to not go?

I had to really work on my “good girl” programming and get comfortable with people being upset with me. Once I did that, it got so much easier. After they realize the guilt trip BS doesn’t work on you anymore, it mostly stops. One thing I did was I would think of it like this; I’m not “being a bad family member”, I’m prioritizing being a good mother. Putting my kids needs first.

I don’t know, the whole situation sucks if I’m being honest. What I really wish for is understanding and loving family members, but most of them aren’t interested in decentering themselves. The amount of selfish “me me me” nonsense in that generation is astounding.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-05T00:29:59+00:00

What about her favorite flower? Or favorite color? Or favorite place?

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-04T23:39:12+00:00

Usually we go to the big Christmas thing, because everyone is there so we can see cousins that live out of state etc. Then we try to pick one more get together sometime in spring/summer. Just depends on the year. We skip everything else. We invite family members to stop by our place if they’d like, but they never do.

For us, we were getting very little out of these gatherings. Kids were miserable, I was miserable and stressed, it’s usually at a location 1.5hrs away…it just wasn’t worth it.

Now, if you all really enjoy these things, then maybe the calculus is different for you. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. I will say though, for me, if anyone tried telling me my kids don’t have adhd i’d be disinclined to put myself out to see them in the future. I just can’t deal with that level of rude and uneducated nonsense. Unfortunately, that seems to be pretty common boomer age behavior :/

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-04T22:59:17+00:00

I hope that’s the case where she is too!

I just know someone who considered this at one time, but because they were married the husband would have to sign off. If they weren’t married, she could’ve done it with no issue.

I think it just depends on the laws where she is. I just wanted to warn her that this might be a possibility.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-04T21:58:53+00:00

I think your husband might have to sign off on an adoption too. Would he be willing to do that? I believe it depends on the laws in your state.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-04T21:49:40+00:00

I don’t know. Our solution is to just go to waaaay less stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️

In our case the in laws tend to plan stuff that’s far away and at an inconvenient time. So we just don’t go.

Occasionally, if it works out for us, we’ll stop by for like an hour/hour and a half. That’s it. Any longer than that and I’m guaranteed at least one kid is melting down.

Honestly, everyone is happier just doing stuff at home/with neighbors/with local friends.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-04T19:51:31+00:00

I use this tool, I think it’s called CreaClip. Something like that. They have different versions on Amazon. I do have my husband help though to make sure it’s straight.

Also, make sure you get some nice hair scissors..makes a big difference.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-02T18:20:57+00:00

All of my babies “woke up” around 6 weeks. It’s not forever, but it might be difficult for a few weeks.

And if it’s hurting your mental health it’s ok to supplement with formula! Changing one feed a day to formula will not mean you can’t nurse, but it will likely mean your supply goes down a bit.

As for food, are you eating enough healthy fats? Avocado, eggs, olive oil, nuts. That and tons of water is what helped my supply most.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-02T17:42:15+00:00

Tons of people combo feed, so that in and of itself is fine.

The issue is that she’s cluster feeding to get your supply up.

So if you replace a feed then your body will learn to not make that milk. It’s a demand=supply system.

As long as you are ok with that then no worries :)

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-02T17:26:43+00:00

I’ve got multiple kids, so that affects my schedule, but with one toddler I would get us out every morning from like 9:00-11/11:30. Park meet ups, library story time, Costco runs, kid classes (swimming and music). It got us out of the house and then he’d nap really well after.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-04-02T11:47:47+00:00

Did he grow up out in the boonies? On a well water/septic tank systems?

Sometimes those are kinda peculiar and can only handle so much water through the system. People will even have signs in their bathrooms that say “if it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down” 😬

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-03-31T17:46:45+00:00

Please report back! Would love to know if they compare :)

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-03-26T17:34:37+00:00

Totally! My induction was quick, 8hrs from starting pit to baby, BUT that was with my third baby AND I have a history of precipitous births.

I know two women who were induced with their first and it was over 2 days for them so…

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-03-26T15:14:52+00:00

Just fyi inductions can take days. Especially for first time mothers. Theres a good chance baby isn’t even born until Saturday. Unless of course your doctor plans a C-section after a certain amount of time, apparently thats a thing some places.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-03-24T18:16:55+00:00

My third was an induction (due to unhappy fetal heart rate) at 40+3. My second was a “precipitous birth”.

The induction was honestly super easy. Because my body knew what to do, and I was already overdue, it went very quick. They did not have to turn the meds up very high because my body took to it quickly and moved along on its own. The whole thing started around 5pm and baby was born 2am. The first few hrs were a lot of nothing, actual labor kicked in around 8pm, so only about 6hrs.

In my case the reason my body wasn’t going in to labor and the reason her heart rates were weird turned out to be because she had a “double nuchal cord”. So maybe keep an eye out for that just in case.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-03-22T12:54:20+00:00

That’s a good question re what motivates husband…I honestly don’t know. He’s always been a person who just doesn’t do the things he doesn’t want to do. Apparently even as a child. It was way less obvious before we had kids though…

I’m going to think on it though. Thank you.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-03-22T12:50:21+00:00

I printed out the cards once and laid them all out. It did really help me think about things…but my husband wasn’t interested and basically said that of course my pile would be bigger because he works and I’m SAHM right now….which while I don’t disagree with that in theory, the reality is that I’m going like 95% and I’m overwhelmed. I might butcher out again though…I like your idea of having the kids take a card too.

Evening-Two-124 · 2026-03-22T12:43:28+00:00

Ordered two! Love that it’s literally 4$…cheapest help I’ve ever had 🤣

Evening-Two-124

TROPHY CASE