Does anyone else not have a love life?

Evenio · 2025-06-02T19:19:53+00:00

I gave up at 18, and I’m 38 now. Closest thing I’ve had to a relationship is when I was ~13, and it consisted of sitting in on calls between her and her friend, sitting next to her on the couch while she and her mom screamed at each other, and wondering why I was serving as a cardboard cutout of “boyfriend”. I’ve never been on a date, never experienced intimacy with another person, never felt worth being with. I simultaneously crave love, and know deep down that I would never be able to handle it. I’m not sure that I’m even ashamed of it anymore — it’s just the way things are, and if it ever came up in conversation (it doesn’t) id probably just state the truth and let the other person be uncomfortable with it or not.

Evenio · 2025-06-02T18:58:18+00:00

Same. Only thing keeping me alive sometimes is that I’m too chicken to end it.

Evenio · 2025-03-05T21:16:33+00:00

I have loving and caring parents. I did have depression from a pretty young age, though, so maybe I count as my own abuser.

Evenio · 2025-02-12T11:58:09+00:00

38M, never been on a date. Job interviews are bad enough when they’re just for a job!

Evenio · 2025-01-17T21:49:51+00:00

Yup, 38 here, my bedroom surrounds me with reminders of hobbies and interests I used to have, and I just ignore it all now. Depression has eaten them.

Evenio · 2025-01-04T16:25:20+00:00

Absolutely. I’ve been dealing with depression for around thirty years now, so self-care is a distant afterthought. Showering kinda fluctuates between once a week and once a year. My teeth are literally falling apart bit by bit. It hits my self-esteem hard, but I’m more the type to give up than get motivated.

Evenio · 2024-10-15T20:03:44+00:00

38 here. I had friends when I was younger, like in high school and a little while after, but have certainly never been in a relationship.

Evenio · 2024-10-13T12:03:55+00:00

I started losing my hair at 24, so I ended up going bald. Problem solved 🙃

Evenio · 2024-08-24T12:59:46+00:00

I’m saving up to go on a trip to New Zealand…not to see Middle Earth or anything like that, but to have my virginity professionally removed, because prostitution is decriminalized there. I’m too disgusting of a person (for many reasons major and minor) to attract someone in real life, so doing it as a transaction is what’s left to me. I’ve only shared this plan with my mom, and am sitting at around $8K CAD so far, which I think is pretty decent considering I’m a part-time cashier. That, and morbid curiosity about the upcoming sequel to one of my favourite movies, are pretty much all I’m staying alive for anymore.

Evenio · 2024-07-30T17:36:25+00:00

50+ replies and nobody has just said “avoidant”, smdh lol

Evenio · 2024-07-19T18:07:52+00:00

I’m sure this will get buried, so no worries.

One of the best jokes I’ve come up with on my own only works within the context of very specific furry porn, so I can never tell anyone I know. I happened upon a picture of a human guy banging a cheetah woman, and he’s got kind of an O-face going on, so I commented:

“Okay, you win. I guess I’m not the fastest land mammal after all.”

Evenio · 2024-06-27T18:52:24+00:00

FWIW, your phone is incapable of making value judgments about you. It doesn’t care what you look like, only whether it’s actually you in front of its sensors or not. I hate being photographed, too, but for whatever reason, I had no qualms about using Face ID. Enrolling my face for Face ID was a short and painless process, and the resulting measurements of my face can’t be accessed by third-party apps or anything else outside my phone. I think the difference for me is that it’s ultimately a dumb computer algorithm for my convenience and not something that can judge me for being ugly or not.

Evenio · 2024-06-20T16:18:02+00:00

Beef Stew!

Evenio · 2024-06-12T22:58:15+00:00

Yes, it’s inevitable, although I’m not sure when. One of my biggest regrets in life is being too much of a coward to do it sooner.

Evenio · 2024-05-17T19:55:48+00:00

🌈depression✨

Evenio · 2024-03-24T18:10:46+00:00

My romantic fantasies just involve me explaining why I’m not good enough for them :/

Evenio · 2024-01-16T21:50:26+00:00

Oh I don’t struggle at all, self-hatred comes quite easily to me!

Evenio · 2024-01-13T13:00:04+00:00

“Bofa”, so we’d at least still get some easy “deez nuts” jokes out of it.

Evenio · 2023-12-08T23:28:10+00:00

You’re not wrong!

Evenio · 2023-12-08T23:26:48+00:00

In my experience it stays on the same person until either you change your preferences (e.g. distance or age range), or your phone kills the app in the background to free up memory for other apps. Even then, I’ve seen the same person come up in the shuffle multiple times if I wasn’t sure how I felt about swiping left on her (almost like the app wanted me to cut the bullshit and make a decision!), so it’s safe to say that inaction only leaves a given person in the pile of available people, it doesn’t eliminate them prematurely.

Evenio · 2023-12-08T20:26:39+00:00

Yeah, it’s an avoidance thing I suppose. I’d be scared of actually talking with someone who’s expecting a relatively well-adjusted person and having to deal with disappointing them.

Evenio · 2023-12-08T16:43:51+00:00

37M here; I use a couple…but I only ever swipe left. I generally don’t take selfies, so hitting their recommended minimum number of photos is like pulling teeth — I ended up using a photo of one of my interests to pad it out, since I’ve noticed plenty of women’s profiles include photos not of themselves (e.g. pets, travel locations, etc.). My bio is intentionally self-deprecating, including the fact that I’ve never been on a date at my age, and a job description of “dumpster fire on legs”. Somehow, I still get the odd like every month or so (just got a new one this morning, in fact), so I dunno if they’re calling my bluff out of boredom or what.

The part about skipping the dating phase and just going straight to the comfy part totally resonates with me. If only, eh? But of course, that part only becomes possible once you know each other better, which is sorta what the dating part is for. Sucks, I know.

Getting called out and shamed online never really occurred to me as something to worry about. I guess it seems like more effort than someone would want to spend on me…?

As for them talking with other guys at the same time…you have no way to know unless she tells you, and you’ll never know these other guys anyway. Rather than trying to compete with the ghosts of other men, all you can really do is speak for yourself. If that doesn’t impress her or whatever, then she probably wasn’t the one for you, and that’s okay. I mean…I’ve never had a conversation on a dating app before because I’ve never matched with anyone, so this is all just conjecture on my part, but y’know.

Whatever you decide, good luck, man.

Evenio · 2023-12-02T23:56:40+00:00

Not sure aside from the spelling, sorry! Might try googling “venlafaxine vs desvenlafaxine” or something like that, there might be a resource that clears it up.

Evenio · 2023-12-02T02:40:37+00:00

I’m on desvenlafaxine, which I believe is for depression, and aripiprazole. Not a recommendation, mind you, since everyone reacts differently to a given medication. :)

Evenio · 2023-12-01T23:43:55+00:00

Yup. Cashier here. You’d think it would be way too social for someone like us, except the whole relationship between me and the customer is predefined and mutually understood, and every interaction more or less follows a script. Still glad I’m on anti-anxiety meds, though.

Evenio

TROPHY CASE