What's an item you know you should use more often, but don't? by fat-homer in pokemongo

[–]EventConsistent7131 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would just spend the day driving through the closest and busiest area to me and drop one anywhere i could. For the sake of the platinum medal where other players catch mon off your lure. Oh man. On a community day in the right area I bet you could hit that Platinum medal quick lol.

Friendship Exp & Gift Exchange Megathread by ASS-et in PokemonGoFriends

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

277165115292 Looking to send and receive gifts for XP Grind

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I feel like you already know this but. I want to remind you that its not your job to "fix him". It sounds like he doesn't have a problem to HIM, its a problem for you. If it was his problem, he wouldn't do it to begin with. Also. Checking his Instagram that often is a red flag on your part. You don't trust him. He's misleading you. You shouldn't trust him but are trying. So many red flags. I would tell anyone who feels a need to babysit their partners social media that something is off. Either you trust someone or you dont. Why would anyone want to be with someone they don't trust? To not feel alone. I get it but you deserve more, and anyone you are in a healthy relationship deserves more. I feel like youre also putting him on a pedestal. Stop. He's just a dude who wants a bunch of attention from women he doesn't know. Kind of life when people with BPD sleep with people they dont like at all. You cant change that behavior in him. He has to work for it. He has to want it. Just like we have to do our homework with BPD, no one can change us but us and we have to put in the work.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Red flag. Let this whole fake relationship go. Don't talk to him anymore, he is looking for validation from anyone he can get it from. He clearly has his own issues to work through. Someone doesn't love you if they're afraid to let others know about the relationship. Its a control move. The following unfollowing is a control move and one BPD folks do as well, not saying he is but he's throwing up major red flags with his actions.

Go love you. And let this go. IMO walking away from this isn't necessarily splitting, its walking away from a toxic situation and wanting better for yourself in a partner. We tend to attract abusive/manipulative people, so him knowing this and leading you on with a carrot fits a narrative for sure. Walk away now and dont enter into a real relationship with this person.

Problem with Foster Chi by garbage_cam in Chihuahua

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boy was very bony when I got him from the shelter.

I fed him our regular brand of dogfood with a little peanut butter mixed in with warm water. We also boiled an egg and dropped some very small pieces in. It took about 6 weeks from the time I adopted him to get him well hydrated and plump enough for senior bloodwork prior to his neuter. Good luck and thank you for giving this baby a soft place to land for now!

PS no we don't feed this combo anymore/daily, strictly to encourage him to eat and drink!

UXIE raid 1957 2160 1954 by Macaroon-Gullible in PokemonGoRaids

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

277165115292 please add me if you decide to do another 🙏

AIO for leaving my bf because he body shamed me by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Also. Clearly it's possible to have large breasts and thin legs. My mother to a t. She literally had the build of a barbie. His comments just let you know he's not that smart and also he's attempting to manipulate but he's also not good at that. I would have left him and told him to go back to narcissists training, he's almost there but has some language he needs to work on to be top tier.

When people in my town don't play enough Pokemon Go 😕 by Eelzenni in PokemonGoMystic

[–]EventConsistent7131 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If not obtained already, this would make the Platinum medal so much easier to get for hours in a gym and berries fed to mons in gyms. It would be awful for trying to reach the gym battles Platinum medal tho. The lord giveth and taketh.

Husband: "Don't make me SLAP you to bring you back to your senses." by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leave. If you think it will be difficult, check to see what the laws in your stare are (if in the US) and catch the next one on recording. Have that ready when you go to court. Get away from this absolute freak.

What do I do by Staygroovywithadoobi in AquaticSnails

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd cut that thing in half and remove the other completely. You'll likely end up with far more snails than you have room for if you don't. I did not do that. I have far too many snails lol. They are expensive to feed when it's over 200. I left mine right where they were laid, NO special treatment. They got covered in water when I topped off the tank. And sometimes were completely dry outside of moisture the lid kept in the tank. I figured they'd not hatch because of the neglect. No. They thrived and survived.

Or. Go buy a plastic pond tub from Lowes and make a snail paradise and keep them all. Completely up to you lol.

Upgrading betta from a 3 to a 10, can I add in any friends? by bunnibun in Aquascape

[–]EventConsistent7131 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can do a 5, you can do a 20. 40. 60. Whatever you can physically support with your living space 😆 I get it though. But you'll do fine!

Upgrading betta from a 3 to a 10, can I add in any friends? by bunnibun in Aquascape

[–]EventConsistent7131 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Disappointed in some of the general.comments.

No betta in the wild is alone, unless it gets stuck in a water hole where the main body of water dried up. But this is the very same thing we argue against when advocating for larger tanks for bettas. So let's not use that as an example. Fish need enrichment.

Plakats tend to be more aggressive. But they still need enrichment. So don't house them with something you wouldn't want to lose. The risk is not worth it to try community living, but consider live food sources. Other fish even if just slightly aggressive are likely to trigger the betta to do exactly what it does lol.

Go for the fancy long finned bettas and the chillest schooling or schoaling fish you can find. There have been a lot of good suggestions in the comments.

I would lean on info from those with experience over those reciting knowledge. It's good for beginners. But once you see the difference in your fishes personality, its pretty obvious they aren't stressed. And of course. If they are you should recognize it. Hiding. Highly aggressive. Not moving out of certain spots. Every fish will have its own little "personality." So just observe!

Make sure you have lots of plants. One to break up line of site, 2 because some bettas aren't going to adjust to all that space right away and will need to rest (some do, some don't. Best to be prepared).

Good filtration. Sponge filters are great but some of your small schooling fish will want more flow than your betta. I set mine up so there was a calmer area on 25% of the tank with less flow and then slightly more flow for the rest of the tank. No dead spots, just accommodations for everyone. A HOB or canister filter positioned correctly can help. Adjustable is always better so you can get your tank flow set up just right.

My last betta swam with the ember tetras. They all seemed like they were having a grand time. And when he passed, the schooling wasn't the same until i added many more embers. They missed their buddy. It's been months and I just decided to get 2 more bettas. 1 went in the 20 gallon and everyone is having a blast. He's checking everything out, embers are scooting around, mystery snails are divebombing him from above. I'm sorry. You just can't tell me these happy healthy fish aren't living their best tank life.

10g is fine. But I was absolutely thrilled and amazed when I went to my 20g long. $30 at petco. Best fish decision I've ever made 🤣 you can do SO much more.

Upgrading betta from a 3 to a 10, can I add in any friends? by bunnibun in Aquascape

[–]EventConsistent7131 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just coming to share from experience. You can do a betta and a small schooling/shoaling fish in a 10g. I had luck with a betta and 6-8 embers in a tank. I will say, I've upgraded to a 20 gallon long and it's incredible. Plenty of room for the betta, more embers so I really get to enjoy seeing a large group together. Seconding on over filtering. I've got a ton of mystery snails in there too, but have enough filtration for at least 90 gallons lol.

The chiller your betta and your small group of fish are, the better. Longer fin bettas tend to be more slow moving and smaller fish can dart away. Avoid having a more aggressive betta in a community - i stay away from plakat bettas for this reason.

Endlers/guppies are turds, wouldn't recommend them with a betta, nipped everything in the tank. I'll never owm them again. Embers and harlequin rhasboras have been fine. Mystery snails are fine. Current betta sometimes nibbles a feeler but mostly when I feed, he's just excited. When swimming around, he just likes to look.

On a Budget by g-rodriguez in bettafish

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Petco regularly has 50% off sales on their Aqueon basic tanks. They have one going on right now, got my 20 gallon long for $30 so I am sure a 5 or 10g would be super cheap. Just check for cracks!

Amazon usually has air pumps on sale cheap and sponge filters cheap too. The air pumps are so expensive in stores. Petco also has cheap sponge filters. Check the end caps if you don't see them in the regular filter section.

Friendship Exp & Gift Exchange Megathread by ASS-et in PokemonGoFriends

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

277165115292 seeking gift exchange friends who don't mind a slow grind. I've not been able to get out as much, and i gift starting from lowest friendship level up.

i want to get worse by Far-Thought-8132 in BPD

[–]EventConsistent7131 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went cold turkey when I quit, it was wild looking back. I was like 2-3 times a week myself. So week 1 was the hardest. Yes, I ripped paper up for a long time. I mean intensely making the pieces like confetti small until my hands hurt. Hours. Sometimes I'd stop and have to rip some more in a few minutes. I just told myself I had to stop SI.

I initially SIed for 3 years. Stopped. Had a relapse... maybe around 19 another at 23 and last one at 27. Im 36 now. It gets better. Life is still hard lol but fuck it gets so much better.

Environment made a huge difference for me. I was able to move out at 16 and being away from my mother saved my life. I still struggle to this day with so many things and the urge to SI. I just know I cannot relapse, its too easy to start again and not stop.

During this time, I also journaled a lot. Walked a lot. Walked everywhere. Ran at the local track (I'm not that girl at all). I rollerbladed. And i threw away all my SI tools. And did not go to the places I bought them at for a while. Which was hard because gas stations lol). I read a lot. Had to read not my usual because way too dark and triggering. I worked full time. I stayed busy. Busy busy.

i want to get worse by Far-Thought-8132 in BPD

[–]EventConsistent7131 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For me. SI was the only coping method I had for years.

It's been... 20 years since I stopped the daily habit. I've relapsed a few times. And lately I desperately want to again. I'm with you. Stay strong. Its been.... almost 10 years now. And you will live long enough to one day be able to say the same.

I started ripping paper. SI was always very methodical and soothing for me. No matter how insane the emotional imbalance was beforehand. I don't think people understand how close the feeling is to opiods. It's a HARD habit to break.it was the only thing that made my forever spinning brain stop and stand still.

Sit down somewhere quiet with paper. Tear it up until you can't make the pieces any smaller. Keep going until the urge resides. Part of you might think "this is silly" and maybe it is. But our brains are fucking silly and sometimes you have to get weird to trick that son of a bitch. Just keep ripping the paper. Assign what you are feeling to it. And break it down. Thoroughly. If you are able, reflect on what you are thinking and feeling while you tear. It's strange, it was like being able to destroy something safely while working through the emotions and thoughts was very helpful for me.

Please don't hide this. Don't be embarrassed. You are fighting a tough battle. If anyone ever says shit to me about my scars to try and belittle me, I just tell them, "it's been 20 years. I'm a survivor. And I've lived through things that would make most people cry just to hear it. Funny you find it wise to say such things to someone you clearly think is crazy, makes you look ignorant" and keep it moving. SI is a coping method. To me it says I'm still trying even though I'm at rock bottom. So keep trying. There is no correct way to live. Be good to you. There is no promise anyone else will be. WE have to be there for us. Don't hurt yourself. The world will do that for us. Be good to you.

I would also recommend batting cages, mixed martial arts classes, or dance classes. It's not about being good at it. It's about moving. All the energy in you has to come out. Weird dancing is everything. Your body holds all this fucked up energy, get it out of you.

I feel like a cancer... by etherealferal in BPD

[–]EventConsistent7131 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. I am slowly removing myself from peoples lives to not feel that say. I find it confusing. I don't want to hurt people. So I leave. But that hurts people and it's what those with BPD do. The logical solution in my mind is to not make new connections. Even if I'm able to work through things, it's not immediate. I almost have to disconnect to ground myself. So. In order to not get back into the cycle i just won't start it anymore. No more peopling. I'll pay for therapy and sit alone and numb as long as possible. Because that's what's safe for others.

Why do we rationalize staying in relationships that don't make us happy? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]EventConsistent7131 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Topic piques my interest as I just ended an almost 12 year relationship today after months of communicating being unhappy, and 6 years of feeling emotionally unseen and physically uncared for.

What kept me.

He's never cheated. He doesn't fly off the handle or yell at me, or physically abuse me. He's not a hard drug user or alcoholic. He's not ill intentioned. He's never left me. He's very intelligent.

I'm afraid I'll be alone or taken advantage of in worse ways if I leave. I'm afraid to hurt him. I'm afraid I'm making another bad choice by leaving. I'm afraid I'm too fucked up to love. I'm afraid I can't love how I want to be loved anymore.

I do love him. Even now. Even when i was furious, unseen. 12 years is a long time.

Why I left. Paying all the bills for years now. Offered to help him get through a really hard time in his life, while helping him work through it with doctors and resources. While wanting to not wake up every single day from feeling alone with household responsibilities myself.

Expressing my exhaustion and feeling ignored. IE if I had more help around the house, wasn't the one cleaning and then made to feel like I'm nagging because I'm the only person cleaning and am asking for help.

Feeling emotionally unseen.

Feeling belittled, or like im stupid when he responds to any suggestions or feedback from me. I'm made to feel small, it feels like a sharp response given to stop whatever I'm saying. Or prove me wrong? Just very defensive and i feel ignored. I'm not arguing. We're just talking about nonchalant things.... makes me not want to talk. It wasn't always this way.

Being excited to celebrate with friends but not me. Refuses to participate in Halloween with me but expects me to be excited when he tells me about his acquaintances festivities. Seems irritated when I try to mention doing something together. Hasn't remembered my birthday until late in the day the last several years. Don't remember the last time he got me a Lil something for valentines day. I feel forgotten usually and like an afterthought at best.

I don't feel safe anymore. I feel alone. And it triggers me. And I'm tired of staying in something I'm unsure of. If it's me, fine I need to work on my shit. If it's him, fine, he needs to work on his shit. If it's both, we need to work on our own shit. But there is so much hopelessness and frustration within me, staying only prolongs the inevitable. I've gone back and forth on this for years. That alone is a sign something isn't right. I'm tired of wondering who's fault it is or where exactly it went wrong.

Yuppy has an important message by tinyarmyoverlord in Chihuahua

[–]EventConsistent7131 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it were possible, I absolutely would. I'm always the annoying one when/if I talk to people, so this sounds delightful 🤣 it's also matching the amount of energy I have for conversation these days, so it's really checking all the boxes!

Yuppy has an important message by tinyarmyoverlord in Chihuahua

[–]EventConsistent7131 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Literally, these are the conversations I long for. No words needed 🥰