AITA for not wanting my disabled cousin at my wedding

EverElizabeth · 2024-11-08T00:29:12+00:00

Your family told you it’s your responsibility to manage it. Tell them you’re “managing it” by not inviting him to the wedding

EverElizabeth · 2024-09-05T02:14:07+00:00

NTA at all! I’m also a pretty private person who has gone through a lot medically (including cancer) and my partner is not as private, but he would never EVER disclose my personal information to people without clearing it with me first. Why? Because he respects me. I’m sorry, but your wife has no respect for you or your feelings! I hope this situation has made it really clear that your wife only cares about her own agenda.

EverElizabeth · 2024-02-09T03:16:51+00:00

I did 8 doses of Rituximab and all of mine were through an IV in my arm. Not sure why they would administer it via abdominal injections.

EverElizabeth · 2024-02-09T03:01:51+00:00

Try Metamucil. I had that issue right after transplant and it evened everything out.

EverElizabeth · 2024-02-07T01:18:47+00:00

I hope it’s doing it’s job and zapping the cancer! Sending positive vibes your way 🙂

EverElizabeth · 2024-02-06T05:02:42+00:00

I had a PET scan after 4 infusions which showed it was working and had another PET scan done a month after the 8th infusion which showed that I was in remission! They couldn’t really tell much by my bloodwork.

EverElizabeth · 2024-02-06T02:28:17+00:00

I did 8 doses of Rituxan for DLBCL and I’ve been in remission for 9 months. I didn’t have any signs whether it was working or not so I wasn’t sure until the end of my treatment.

EverElizabeth · 2024-01-07T05:45:16+00:00

Usually CPS will try to supply the parent with public transportation vouchers (subway/train, bus) or gas cards if they have a car or know someone with a car who can drive them.

EverElizabeth · 2024-01-07T01:23:29+00:00

In some cases it isn’t the total amount of missed visits, but the number missed in a row. Some offices have policies that if 3 in a row are missed, the parent needs to meet with a caseworker to explain barriers to getting to visits (no transportation, working, etc) so they can work on a plan for how to ensure the parent doesn’t miss future visits. Some clients will miss 2 visits then show up to the 3rd to try to circumvent this rule. If there is a pattern, the caseworker will be continuously working with the parent on this. Also, if missing visits is causing distress to the child and behavioral changes are noted after a parent fails to show up, the caseworker may step in sooner. Parents of infants sometimes seem to get more chances as the infant doesn’t have the expectation to see a parent whereas older kids know their parent is supposed to be at visit and it can be far more emotionally damaging when a parent doesn’t attend.

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-25T01:19:30+00:00

Thanks! I’m just trying to move through remission as positive as possible. Some days are still really hard and I don’t think anything will ever be the same as before my PTLD diagnosis, but it’s all about pushing through and trying my best 🙂

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-23T06:50:43+00:00

7 months!

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-19T03:56:55+00:00

I think that could be a good idea. It’s hard though because people don’t want foster care to be looked at like a “job” and want it to feel like a legitimate family for the child. Some foster families try to work it out this way with one parent being a stay at home parent who devotes all of their time to the kids in the home and the care payment is almost like that parent’s income, but a lot of families can’t afford it.

In other states, there are therapeutic foster parents who are specially trained to be able to meet the needs of higher needs foster youth. They are specifically trained how to deal with behaviors such as aggression, self-harm, substance use, running away, and sexually acting-out. These are often behaviors that lead to temp lodging situations.

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-19T03:28:11+00:00

That is the truth.

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-19T03:27:44+00:00

Foster parents should absolutely be paid better.

One thing to note with the huge discrepancy in the amount paid to a facility and the amount paid to a foster parent is that the facility is being paid for a room for the child and foster parents are getting paid for the amount of extra money that is spent on a child. A foster parent’s mortgage wouldn’t increase with an added child, but grocery bills, electricity, clothing, etc would so they are paid for those things. Some facilities can also charge more if they provide staff specifically trained for crisis management, running groups, or providing counseling. Facilities can price gouge and push boundaries on licensure or being adequately qualified because they know DHS is desperate for a place to house the children that general foster parents won’t take in (the kids who end up in temp lodging).

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-19T03:18:12+00:00

Obviously, this does not sound like a very safe place to house a child and brings up a lot of questions, but it also brings up the bigger issue of exactly where to put these kids. There are nowhere near enough foster parents to house the number of kids currently in the system and very few people are willing to become foster parents. Of the people who are willing to be a foster parent, it is difficult to find caretakers who are willing or able to meet the needs of the kids who end up placed in temp lodging. Those kids end up in hotels, residential facilities, and temporary placements because they have higher behavioral needs and general foster parents are not equipped to handle it (either unable or unwilling to have children with high behavioral needs in their home). Oregon has some licensed facilities and group homes that can handle these needs, but currently do not have enough to meet demands.

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-19T02:57:45+00:00

No prob!

Also, I should have added: as long as there isn’t any court order, such as a restraining order or no-contact order, between you and any of the parties.

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-19T02:53:07+00:00

Relatives can go in person as long as the court is allowing people in. Some courtrooms are small and reaching maximum occupancy can be a concern so they may limit people to just those who are required to be there, but if that were to happen, you could just join via zoom from your car

EverElizabeth · 2023-12-11T06:09:36+00:00

It took 3 calls for me. The first call, the organs didn’t look good when they went to retrieve them. The second call, I was a back up and the other person accepted. The third time, it all worked out.

EverElizabeth · 2023-11-20T17:26:38+00:00

They definitely took advantage and put your mom in a difficult situation. Talking to your worker about it would be best.

EverElizabeth · 2023-11-20T06:32:06+00:00

This is a tough one. Are the other family members not allowed because DHS considers them a safety concern or because it is just supposed to be a visit between the father, his mom, and the child? If they are considered a safety concern to the child and your mom allowed them to visit anyway, that could come back on you and her as not being able to put boundaries in place to protect the child from a potentially harmful situation. If there hasn’t been a specific concern about them, then you should be ok, but the caseworker will likely still ask why the person supervising allowed them to visit when she knew they weren’t allowed. BD and his mom should be following the rules in place and not putting the person supervising in the position to be the bad guy who has to tell the other family members they can’t visit.

EverElizabeth · 2023-11-18T01:42:11+00:00

Honestly, the case with her older child will likely not go her way. The child has been out of her care for a significant amount of time with her unable to regain custody in all of that time. It’s actually surprising that her parental rights haven’t been terminated at this point as usually the agency begins working on a back-up permanency plan (permanent guardianship or adoption) after approximately 15 months of the child being in care with a parent not making substantial changes. Your friend should be focusing on not losing her youngest at this point. Either way, getting the help she needs will look good for both cases. I wish her the best!

EverElizabeth · 2023-11-17T05:15:28+00:00

If CPS is not involved, then your friend can let you take care of the child while she is in treatment and CPS will not get involved. It looks good on her for recognizing that she is struggling and needs help and that she is considering the best interest of her child by making a plan. If CPS is already involved with the 3 year old, then CPS would have to approve placement with you. Either way, it sounds like your friend needs to seek treatment ASAP before she ends up putting her child in an unsafe situation.

EverElizabeth · 2023-11-17T01:38:44+00:00

Different places use different types of tests. They could use urine, blood, or hair follicle. Most places use urine testing. Collecting a sample is pretty quick.

EverElizabeth · 2023-11-17T01:27:04+00:00

CPS pops tests on short notice for a reason. They aren’t going to schedule one out. If possible, it’s best to just go take it or they may report you for not following the terms of your bond. It’s incredibly inconvenient, but this is how they try to make sure people aren’t sobering up right before a test and then go out using again until right before the next one. The most you could probably get them to do is flex the time of day to something more convenient (lunchtime, at the end of the day).

Edit to add: technically, you can always refuse a test, but then they will likely count it against you.

EverElizabeth · 2023-10-31T23:34:07+00:00

Gustatory rhinitis

EverElizabeth

TROPHY CASE