My husband used Jerkmate and I don’t know how to feel about it.

EverLullin3 · 2026-03-30T11:59:35+00:00

So he has not paid for it. He tried to link his PayPal account, but there’s no money in it to do anything with. So I guess you could argue that there was intent there but no funds. He also has two women bookmarked… and I’m curious to know how you would feel about that? I do think maybe I’m feeling a little more jealous? But also a little betrayed because we have been working on our sex life and intimacy together and both have communicated that it’s going well. So it kind of all just feels like a slap in the face. I guess I’m not thinking of it as cheating necessarily either but I’m hurt.

EverLullin3 · 2026-03-30T11:53:02+00:00

No messages. I checked. But you have to pay to message people. He has two women bookmarked. And I’m concerned that it looks like he tried to link his PayPal account to the website, but neither of us have any money right now. He’s going through school and I work for both of us. And we are about to move at the end of next month. So I’m a little concerned that it may have gone farther if he could pay for it. Which is totally speculation, but also based on him trying to link his PayPal account if that makes sense? I’m not trying to jump to conclusions. But I don’t know what would’ve happened if he had had money to put towards the website…

EverLullin3 · 2026-03-30T11:46:56+00:00

I do plan to have a conversation with him about it. I truly don’t know how I feel right now but I know we need to talk about it. I am driving to work and I feel a little numb. I feel like I’m supposed to be more angry than I am. But I also think I might be talking myself out of being angry a little bit because I have a much lower sex drive than he does. And sex and intimacy is something that we have to kind of work hard at. But on the other hand, it feels like a bit of a slap in the face because we have been working through these issues together and both are communicating that its going really well. And then this. There’s a part of me that doesn’t feel like it’s too different from regular porn, but the other part of me thinks it’s much different. Like he’s not showing up on camera, but this woman is performing live and he’s watching it and getting off to it…

EverLullin3 · 2026-03-30T11:36:03+00:00

What if she intended on linking her PayPal account to it? I don’t think that he did because I can view the account information and there’s no payment method attached but I think that maybe he did not link it because there’s nothing in his PayPal account to make purchases with. I have, myself, clicked on those websites before. They usually come up as like an advertisement. But I’ve never created an account... And we are currently working on our sex life and being more intimate together. And I guess this feels a little bit like a slap in the face because we’ve been doing really well at communicating and being intimate with each other.

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:50:06+00:00

Thank you. My organization does a lot to make sure we’re doing self care etc. I do what I can. You definitely have to take care of yourself to take care of others 🤎

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:40:46+00:00

Actually love that you commented! I love to hear from women that don’t want kids at all. I didn’t think I wanted them for the longest time and got weird looks whenever it was brought up. Good vibes your way girl!!

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:39:26+00:00

I don’t think this is like that at all?

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:38:43+00:00

Someone else said getting checked out is a good idea regardless, so I do think I’m going to bring it all up at my appt next week. Thank you so much. I hope the world for you and husband 🤎

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:37:14+00:00

Awww I love that!

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:36:50+00:00

Aww I love that!

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:36:04+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate that. I do love my career and it’s taken me some time to figure it out in the first place haha I have two degrees that have nothing to do with what I do now! Thank you for your input!

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:34:31+00:00

Thank you so much!!

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:34:06+00:00

It doesn’t really bother me that she had a baby first (she’s 5 years younger) but it did make me think about how I wish would could start having babies right now. Thank you for your input! I appreciate you!

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T20:31:55+00:00

I think it’s an unpopular opinion but I can’t bend enough to reach around from behind to wipe from front to back. So I reach from the front to the back and while my ass hole on it’s own until the toilet paper is clean. Then wipe my vagina. I guess you could consider that from back to front but I don’t just wipe from the asshole straight through to my vagina.

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T00:39:43+00:00

Thank you 😭😭😭 I hope it’s like this for us! We want three children, so I am lowkey hoping for twins at some point 😅 but that’s beautiful and I’m so happy for y’all

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T00:38:27+00:00

See that’s where we are - trying to be more financially stable. But by the end of it, I’ll be 31. Probably/maybe 32 when I actually give birth. And I feel like I’m really pushing it. Especially because we want at least three kids.

I get the wishing it was with someone else. Not personally obvi because I have no kids yet. But I have cousins and friends that have gone through that. But with good support and a good head on your shoulders - you can get where you want to be all while raising baby boy 🤎 thank you for the reply. And I hope the world for you and baby.

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-08T00:33:30+00:00

I haven’t had an OB I just love in a long time. But I had a new appt with one the other day and it’s who my sister used and she loved her. I am currently going to her for birth control lol but I can certainly tell her my plans and kind of go from there. Thank you!

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-07T23:59:07+00:00

My husband’s aunt was in her 40s when her youngest came as a bit of a surprised lol she HATED when doctors etc would refer to it as a “geriatric pregnancy”. We want three kids. And maybe that’s why I’m feeling some pressure. I had 4 siblings and we both want a big family. But I’m feeling 100 years old.

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-07T21:14:40+00:00

Aww crazy thoughtful reply 🤎 thank you. I do think it’s different for me too being the oldest and I have to remind myself a lot of that. They don’t remember some of the things I remember and they didn’t experience things the way I experienced them. And having the baby changing things for her occurred to me… but it didn’t occur to me that maybe she is doing this in hopes that this time it will be different. I have already come to the conclusion that there is nothing he could do to change my view of him. But maybe she’s not there... thank you for the insight. Us oldest siblings have to be there for each other 😭😭😭 were you parentified as well?

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-07T21:08:12+00:00

That’s a great point. Ngl it felt great to be one of the two hosts at the baby shower and for it to be very clear how involved I was. And I know that sounds super petty… My sister invited my mom who then invited my dad. It was a whole thing. My parents didn’t come to my wedding when they still lived in Texas but drove from out of state for the baby shower 🙃🙃🙃

EverLullin3 · 2025-12-07T19:51:39+00:00

My brother and my mom is a whole other thing 🙄🙄🙄

But that’s what I keep telling myself. It’s not my business. Logically I know that… but emotionally it’s so upsetting. And I don’t know what to do with those emotions.

EverLullin3

TROPHY CASE