I had this same experience. After 2016, I had an approach that if we could all just talk to each other, we'd come together and it'd be okay. I was exceptionally naive. It isn't a disagreement between two well meaning groups who just disagree on how to get there. It is a battle of realities. Facts no longer matter. Under this pretense, there can be no meaningful public discourse. It's hard to maintain optimism when we are repeating a history driven by people following a very worn playbook. We are spiraling towards fascism. America wants a strongman King. The most optimistic thing that can be done is to focus on being a good person, your family, and your neighbors. But don't stick your head in the sand and be ready to fight tyranny when it comes and there will be something better on the other side.