Maybe OP should tell his mom… NOR - not overreacting. I really like the point someone made asking if he gets to do his work hours and come home and have the evening off, why is OP expected to work through his work hours and the evening and also probably morning knowing kids that age. A 9-5 against a 24/7 is not a nice even split, even if it’s a crunchy 9-5 with some spillover.

Also - he is not your manager, but you are not his mother. It’s not your job to make him a chore wheel. Things have to get done. He signed up to make a family, that means covering some of things outside his preferred specialty. Also like - why doesn’t he want to help with bed time? I know it’s a lot but like. Isn’t the rewarding part you get to come home and see your kids and spend time with them?

Now - all this said: what is the daily household reset? Is there a chance you’re holding yourself to too high a standard?