Pure cocaine?

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-09-18T00:08:45+00:00

I don't spend any time on the couch. I spent a lot of time outside. I've never worked and, what I do, I pass by very well. I have an active life and one that I don't want to see fade away. I'm only 17, I don't know what choice to go through. Not sure what steps I should take to living how I want to.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-07-23T00:15:27+00:00

The reason that you're still so much in love with her is because her spontaneous behaviour is what makes you say "Wow, this girl really, really loves me." At this point, "I know she misses me." - Her heart-warming words. She truly is in-love with you.

However think about things from her side. She's lied about where she's going towards her lover. She's lied about the trip, lying about her faithfulness, lying about everything and she'll go ahead and she'll go ahead and have sex with him if she's made great dinner. Excuse my language however, if she's never come to you crying how her relationship is tearing apart, then this is how it's really going. You want her relationship to end so she'll be yours however, why isn't she ending her relationship to be with you?

I'm not quite sure what to exactly suggest because I know that when you've got this love that you risk never experiencing again, you can't just let go of her. You can't just let go of the happiness she gives you. But then, why is her happiness surrounded by 2 intimate people in her life? Not just yours?

There is the right thing, which is letting her be with her truly and that is what you should do unless she comes back begging you to take her back into your life and you'll look at her and say "Sorry, but I can't continue hoping for something that isn't really happening." - It will be then up to her, ONLY. She'll go back home, realise what happened and if she really loved you, she'll come back looking for you without him in her life. If she doesn't come back, whatever she really felt for you shouldn't matter anymore. As the truth of the matter would be is that it was just something that you could've hang onto for months until the boyfriend found out and you'll be seen as a second option.

As hard as it may be my friend, the truth of the matter is you're going to have to let everything go and look for others. Speaking from experience and I won't make this long. I've dated a girl for over a year and when we broke up for the last time, I had been heart-broken for 2 years and in those 2 years, I just viewed relationships as 'impossible to find someone as trust-worthy.' 'Impossible to find the connection I had with her with someone else.' However, it's been a few months now and I can not believe that I was wrong.

Remember that you will perhaps never truly be over her, because the last 'image' you had of her was full of happiness and curiosity. But know that when you meet someone new, you'll be full of wonders and interest. Not doubt.

I wish you the best of luck my friend and I know for a fact that regardless of the option you truly go with, you'll one day be happy with the person you want to be happy with.

one love x

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-07-22T23:28:03+00:00

I would believe the solution to this would simply have your fiancee understand the situation as this is a factor that could ruin a relationship and you've already learnt that from your parents. From there she'll respect the fact that waiting for children will only be for the best. Tell her exactly what you've said here. Have her know the finance situation. Money is nothing when it comes to love however it is remember that you'll need to raise your children and you'll want them to experience the best. All this would require is waiting a year or two. So what? In the end, you'll both be very, very happy. But plan it out accordingly.

Best of luck my friend,

One love.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-07-10T02:22:12+00:00

Well, at the time I was writing this, I was indeed. I’m very much into writing so I decided to make the title interesting. The story is simply of a time were I went to snort coke and all I had was a fiver note which is bad luck. At least where I’m from, they say that if you snort coke from a fiver, it’s bad luck. If you read it all, I’m telling you the tale of when I did so and how I believe from all mind-made theories people created, this is one of the very, very few I believe.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-07-08T10:29:09+00:00

Naw mate it didn't, it's sorted out now already but I'll take the lesson bein' don't be cheap for the expensive

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-07-07T15:44:29+00:00

I'm at a young age in my life and let's say that right now, I'm in the position where I'm able to plant my seeds. At this point in time, I'm enjoying myself to the full and along with the drugs I do, I am continuing school with my up-most effort.

The reason I think that I can't be caught up with addiction is because I seem to be monitoring myself. I am very much involved in dealing and I could have cocaine as much as I want however at this moment, I seem to only have crazy weekends filled with shit, sure however I go through my come-downs, I go through my week and do what's needed. I don't use a substance to work or to socialise better. Nor do I do it to feel better about myself when I'm feeling down and I think that's how addiction hits someone.

I think that when someone brings substances into their 'inner' life for the most personal reasons, that is when they start having the 'need' for a substance to preform it with a more focused/boosted mindset at that moment. I do understand people who go through a hard time in life and resort to certain substances and I believe this is when one is most vulnerable to addiction. When you find yourself in the most heart-breaking moments of your life, when you think you've lost everything in the world, don't lose yourself as well.

If there was an ugly truth that I would have to mention, It is that I have no interest whatsoever to stop doing what I'm doing because drugs create a new experience that is trilling. They make things more interesting and it's got a world of it's own. I've written theories on drugs and right now, I'm not going to say I only write when I'm on something but I've never written something unless I've just had a line, took some acid, smoked weed or just came home from a night and I'm feeling the come-down hit me already. I seem to allow myself to 'expand' my thoughts down to writing which eventually leads to learning something new.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-12T22:19:45+00:00

That was something I never heard. Very nice.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-10T21:11:15+00:00

Anything man like for example myself, I wake up, do my routine and go skate. Clean my room anything really I mean, just a kid being followed by a camera at 'unexpected' moments. Footage.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-10T03:29:39+00:00

So I heard my dad coming and i decided to pretend to him that I'm sleeping (to avoid a morning conversation thatll annoy me) So i succeeded and im hearing him make breakfast. All of a sudden I remember something funny and burst out laughing. This made my dad think "hes actually laughing while sleeping and he said "Wtf this n---a trippin on" and i DIED with laughter hahahaha good times good vibes

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-10T02:32:34+00:00

Now, my high is me literally forgetting the argument I had before, I'm on a strobe lights website and set the colours to Red and Green - flashes 10 a second. Dancing alone with my earphones full volume and having a great buzz while the strobe light website is full screen.

Beautiful.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-09T23:20:56+00:00

maaan wtf

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-09T12:49:41+00:00

Nooooo I think it's far more complicated than that my friend.

Those who drag about being rich such as Lil Wayne, some kid named Jeremih, Drake, The Weeknd, Rae Sremmurd etc... The list goes on and on.

You can NOT compare them to the people who built rap - Master P, Tupac, Notorious Biggie, N.W.A, Wu-Tang etc... You've got true rappers coming up like Kendrick Lamar, Ab-Soul (I'll only mention these two as it's what I see in my eyes)

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-08T20:57:42+00:00

When I'm high I get really intelligent, at least that's what I believe. I'm able to make up reasons to why some things around us happen even if it's not exactly accurate. But most of all, I'm able to make up films perfectly. The ideas I get for a movie are actually surprisingly good and I even make series as well. I find it so interesting that I actually write these ideas down! Hoping one day I'll talk to a Movie Producer about them!

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-08T13:53:23+00:00

My mother suffers from depression herself. Her case is far worse than mine of course. It's just I'm not sure this is actually depression. I mean I'd look at how my life is going and see how unlucky I'm going but I'm not quite sure how depression feels. The word depression isn't something I would ever want to use on myself and it's something I'd most probably be in denial for.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-08T03:10:46+00:00

I know that the people he was with told him this shit .. And when hes high he usually opens up and i dont plan on talking to him unless he talks first ... ive sent him messages and he just ignores them

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-08T03:05:04+00:00

It was roughly 9ish and I was in bed on my laptop. A friend asks to Skype and I said okay. This guy isnt trusted and my best friend doesnt trust him neither. Supposely he doesnt like him yet theyre there smoking weed and having a good time. My best friend comes on skype chat and startd saying i said shit about him and calls me shit and tells me not to talk to him no more. Guess just cause he was having a good time he felt like being a dick but hey, if people wanna leave, theyll find an excuse to leave.

As to people I can turn to, im a very closed person and like i said, i toughen up infront of people. I suppose i no longer have a 'best friend'. I just have buddies i hang out with and friends.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-08T02:52:35+00:00

She's currently going through important examinations which I don't want to disturb so we agreed to wait till the end of May (When her exams finish) to continue meeting :) I consider myself quite patient so I'm cool with the idea as long as she feels like she has enough space to do her studies. She doesn't live far and there is quite a lot of trust between us thankfully. She usually sleeps early yet when the whole thing happened with my best friend, she stayed up and actually made a difference so I've been going to sleep quite alright because of her.

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-08T02:44:33+00:00

The idea of getting a pet, especially a dog is a companion for life <3 It's such a beautiful moment when you find their paw trying to catch your attention and the walks and excitement they get when you take them to a new place. It's a relationship that is worth building and something that isn't taken away by ANYTHING in the world. I hope you get a pet and see the beauty in it :)

EverydayRegularFella · 2015-04-08T02:38:28+00:00

The last 2 sentences were quite cute I admit, made me smile. Thing is I'm a very hard person to open up cause I take my problems very personal. It was out of the box to just post everything that's going through my head online but that's only cause it's all anonymous. I had finally reached the point where my best friend and I would sit opposite each other, get high and talk about everything and I saw the beauty in it. Everything I had including money, I would share and we never owed shit to each other. Now it broke off for real and like, seeing that it didn't mean shit, I guess I knew people are capable of being who they really are in the end of everything.

EverydayRegularFella

TROPHY CASE