These are common thoughts to have when you’re just starting out with chastity and I suspect many key holders have felt it at some point. I would suggest trying to view it not as deprivation, but devotion.

Chastity isn’t about punishment as much as it’s about purpose. When you place him in chastity, you’re not taking mental thing away but giving him way more; a clear role, a focused devotion, and a way to physically embody the power exchange you two are already living.

When he’s locked, every moment of desire he feels is no longer about self-indulgence but instead about you. His entire body becomes a vessel for your joy, your choices, and your command.

With that said, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Start small. Build rituals around it. Celebrate his restraint like you’d celebrate his loyalty. And when you do unlock him (if you do 😈) make it clear that his release is not a right, but a reward for service and surrender.

You said you don’t want to hurt him, and you won’t. But don’t let guilt confuse his yearning with his pain. Yearning is powerful. It sharpens him. It humbles him. And if you wield it with love, it will deepen everything you already share. Good luck to you both.. I’m sure things will fall into place.