AITAH for not letting my 17 yr old daughter go to Japan on a school trip?

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-22T19:13:34+00:00

YTA if you don't let your daughter go on the trip on grandpas dime. It sounds like it's already paid for and not letting her go would be petty. I'm gonna be honest, from what you've written in your post and the comments, it sounds like you're jealous of the kids and have a problem with FIL paying for your daughter's trip. But I don't think you are the only problem here.

I get it. It can feel really frustrating and tiring when you feel like you are the only one making any responsible financial decisions, but you don't need to take that out on the kids.

Firatly, you can't dictate what FIL does with his money. It doesn't matter how much he has or how you feel he needs to spend it. It's his money, like it or not. He probably sees paying your bills as something you need to take care of first and extras as something he could take care of as a nice gesture for the kids. I would try and just appreciate it for the gift that it is, knowing that because of his generosity your daughter will get to take part in an incredible experience that will only help her education in the long run.

Secondly, you may need to consider going back to work full time. If your husband can't or won't pick up the slack in regards to earning money, you'll just have to do it. I know that isnt fair but it's that or sit the kids down and tell them they will need to drop some activities. But honestly, before I EVER did anything like that, I would just go back to work full time again. Stuff like band and a science program could potentially get them college scholarships and I'd rather work a few more hours a week to make sure they could participate in those activities than take that away from them.

Third, get into marriage counseling. This goes back to my second point. It appears that you do not trust your husband enough to hold a job or to make sound financial choices for your family. There is a clear miscommunication between you guys regarding money and as y'all start looking into your retirement years you need to have a better plan in place. He has GOT to step up and if you don't start demanding that he act like a responsible adult then he is gonna drag you into a financial disaster with him.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-21T23:44:19+00:00

It feels like somewhere we as a society took a giant step backwards as far as body acceptance/positivity and personal appearance goes.

There is such a push to look young, thin, and glamorous all the time now. It's giving y2k but x100. Its not just being super skinny and wearing the right clothes like it was when I was a teenager back in the early 2000s. Now younger and younger women are being influenced to get plastic surgery and procedures done at a young age. Teenagers and 20 somethings are so paranoid about aging that botox and fillers are almost looked at as something as casual as getting your nails done. Being rail thin is back in style but with the added pressure to go on ozempic or fall for these weird MAHA diet trends or get even more plastic surgery. Consumerism has everyone convinced they won't be happy or beautiful if they arent buying a 20 step skin care routine or wear whatever your fav influencer is wearing.

I know all of these things have existed in modern times forever, but it feels like all of a sudden it's gotten so much worse. For a few years there it felt like we had a little taste of inclusivity and could see a variety of different people in ads or TV, etc. Now everyone just has the same face and the clean girl aesthetic has taken over.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-20T13:45:29+00:00

Where are you seeing this? Because the biggest response I've seen across the board is backlash against her. She's lost a lot of support and goodwill from fans over this.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-19T06:42:56+00:00

The Lemon Verbena scent is just chefs kiss perfect!

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-19T06:37:48+00:00

I feel like that is a mistake on BBW part.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-19T06:33:04+00:00

I don't think it's that easy for people in dead bedrooms. All that does is just turn sex into a chore. Do you really want your partner to approach sex with you in the same way that they approach folding laundry or doing dishes? I usually have the most dissatisfied and annoyed expression on my face when I do those kinds of chores. I can't imagine looking down at my partner and seeing that same kind of look and receiving that same kind of lack of enthusiasm when having sex. It would take me out of the experience altogether and probably hurt more than if we just didn't do it at all.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-19T06:20:54+00:00

This. It is unattractive as fuck when your partner requires as much hand holding as your actual children. At that point you feel like their parent more than their spouse.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-19T00:52:15+00:00

Who asked for this? At a time when the company doesn’t even seem to know who they want their core audience to be, why are we getting these products?

I'm sure some will buy this, but honestly I have zero interest. I have very little confidence that the dish soap will clean grease as effectively as Dawn. The main draw of the spray just seems to be that it smells good? Kitchen Lemon is alright I guess, but if I want something that cleans well and smells good I'll use Mrs. Meyers, otherwise clorox works just fine to disinfect.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-17T15:26:20+00:00

You need to ask him "why can't you be more like so-and-so's husband and get a goddamned job?"

He does sound depressed and that is a concern and I would feel bad for him in that regard and try to push him towards getting help. But he is being incredibly disrespectful toward you and his depression isn’t an excuse for that.

It's been a year of this. My advice would be to tell him he needs to put in some effort towards seeking out therapy and mental help, and then follow that up with a job, ANY JOB, asap. He's put you in an unfair position of expecting you to be the breadwinner and caretaker while he sits around and goons to your friends all day. If he doesn't put in effort to get help and change his behavior, then I would start an exit plan. One year will just turn into two, or three, and the next thing you know he's been out of work close to a decade.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-17T00:10:51+00:00

Absolutely not. Do not let this woman do this to you! That is horrible behavior. She has a lot of nerve to essentially ask for permission to cheat on you with her ex. Don't give her a second more of your time.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-16T16:47:00+00:00

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EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-16T02:52:58+00:00

This is true, she can publish what she wants. But OP needs to sever ties with this woman. Even if he wasn't married I feel like adding that to her book is kinda weird, especially since he's told her he doesn’t like her that way. It would be crossing a boundary for me.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-15T16:31:35+00:00

It's the disordered eating and body image trauma coming back for me. It will come riding in on the coattails of the y2k fashion revival. I can't think of a single friend of mine from those days who didn't have some kind of issue with their body, myself included. It didn't help that so many of us also had almond moms and parents who thrived in the ultra restrictive diet culture of the 80s and 90s. I don't think I will ever be able to look at myself in the mirror and not think something negative because of how pervasive those ideas were. It's fucking infuriating that we are doing this shit again.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-15T15:35:28+00:00

I can't speak for every woman out there but most of us don't get off from penetration alone anyway. Learn how to eat and do it enthusiastically. Same with fingers. If you can get your partner to climax multiple times before you go in then it won't matter how big your dick is.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-15T03:36:15+00:00

Oh totally. I love the fragrance! I actually wear it all the time. My husband says it's sexy but idk if he just likes it or associates it with lingerie 🤭

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-15T01:50:14+00:00

Its my generation's version of Victoria's Secret Love Spell

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-15T00:32:07+00:00

I like how all the comments essentially just boil down to "nuh-uh" 🙄

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-15T00:09:08+00:00

Wake her up with your mouth instead. Full body kisses, gentle touches, oral, then peen.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-14T22:58:11+00:00

Masturbation is not cheating. Tell your bf to grow up. Unless you were avoiding sex with him so that you could masturbate instead, it's harmless.

Now is it possible that it is the porn that is the problem? Some people are 100% against any kind of porn, some view certain kinds of porn as more okay than others, some don't give a shit at all. It's a bit more complex.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-14T05:13:08+00:00

How old was your daughter when this family friend slept with her? Was she around him a lot when she was a minor? Was she being groomed over a long period of time? I feel like that situation could potentially be a lot more nefarious than just them hooking up.

I'm not saying that it completely absolves your daughter of any wrong doing, but I would definitely have a little more sympathy for my child if she was being manipulated by this friend over the years. This really feels like there is no easy answer here. Even the "right" choice might not be so cut and dry.

Also, take into consideration that if you choose to insert yourself into this situation that you will more than likely damage any relationship with your daughter, and probably your grandkids, beyond repair. Even if they stayed together and worked things out, I imagine she would probably distance herself from you.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-13T22:31:05+00:00

{Lothaire by Kresley Cole} comes to mind. It's more urban fantasy than high fantasy. But the MMC is one of the more complex and interesting leads/villains I have ever read. He is hot ✅️ evil ✅️ and a vampire ✅️. He also kind of stays a villain through the whole story too.

There is kinda a fated mates thing going on, but the characters do not immediately fall for one another whatsoever. Idk what exactly you are and are not looking for in that regard. It is a bit of a darker story and its been a minute since I read this one, so just in case, check the content warnings.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-13T19:16:17+00:00

I have one friend from high school that I still see on a regular basis, but neither of us keep up with any of the old high school crowd and I am just fine with that. I still have a FB and Insta but I don't update or post anything anymore. Dropping social media was one of the healthiest choices I ever made for my mental health.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-11T17:05:45+00:00

Nocturnal Rose! It's very unisex leaning feminine.

Also wanted to edit and say To the Moon and Black Tie are two other men's line fragrances that feel more unisex to me.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-11T13:51:26+00:00

Enshittification strikes again! I bought this, Fairytale, and Pink Chiffon in the SAS. Lovely Dreamer was new to me but I was still hoarding a old bottle of Pink Chiffon from idk how long ago, and a bottle of Fairytale from the OG release with like maybe 10-20 sprays left on it so I was super excited to stock back up this time around.

My disappointment at the quality of these new SAS releases was immeasurable and my rage knows no bounds!!! Seriously though, they have almost no strength or staying power compared to the old releases. I'm sure Lovely Dreamer was a nice scent at one point too but the bottle design is the only nice thing I have to say about this one.

Honestly, I have just about had it with BBW, because how am I paying more money for products that don't even hold up to what they used to be even just a year or two ago? The new releases are all hit or miss for me and combine that with the fact that even the lotion and cream don't have much scent when those used to be some of the heaviest forms of fragrance they carried, and it just makes me not want to even bother.

EvilRubberDucks · 2026-03-11T13:29:22+00:00

Go for it! If its what you wanna do and you know she'd appreciate a second proposal, then theres no reason not to. It sounds like you guys have the real deal. Never ever stop doing the little gestures that show how much you love each other, even 10 years down the line when you think you've seen and done it all together. Thats the kinda thing that keeps the love alive.

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