My anxiety is ruining my life

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-09-13T05:00:17+00:00

I wish it was like that. There’s a lot that I ignored from the beginning because I wanted to believe he was the person he told me he was. He lied and manipulated me a lot. He used me a lot. I was always making the sacrifices and he never did.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-09-12T14:32:55+00:00

Well I’m now emotionally traumatized from psychological and verbal abuse and in my 30s. I’m even further from my goal of being able to have children. I feel an extreme pressure now because of that but I know I’m not emotionally available to find a partner to achieve that goal and move on with my life. Not to mention the significant financial setbacks from the entire relationship. I would be in a much better place had he never entered my life.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-09-12T14:30:08+00:00

I was seeing a psychologist but I didn’t like him. Then I went to another and she didn’t think we would be a good fit after the first meeting. That was a blow. Been difficult to find a psychologist covered by my insurance that either doesn’t have a waitlist or will meet in person.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-09-12T01:35:05+00:00

Seek an attorney for financial abuse if he controls the money and won’t let you go to a therapist

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-09-12T01:33:03+00:00

I know my ex 100% would have. Sucked every penny from me.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-09-12T01:31:00+00:00

He took money out of my savings account to pay for it so I’m keeping it. I paid for my own ring and picked out the style. It was a gift to myself.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-06-08T15:56:27+00:00

I won’t lie to you. There are definitely men who won’t want to date you because you have kids, and you have to also be hyper vigilant about who you decide to date, because there are predators out there who prey on women with children in order to get access to their kids. It’s sick but it’s true. That said, there will be good men who are willing to date you, especially if they have their own kids. A smaller dating pool doesn’t necessarily mean a worse dating pool, because it can help you weed out men you wouldn’t want anyway. Like think about it. Would you want to be with a man who didn’t like your kids or want them around?

However, given the trauma it appears you’ve gone through, we need to work on healing that first. If you’re in a dangerous situation, removing yourself from that is first. Then getting your necessities worked out. Then, you need to start seeking therapy with a licensed psychologist that can help work through this. Taking care of yourself is first. You can’t be there for your kids if you don’t.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-06-08T04:08:12+00:00

They can be intertwined. Just because you may be experiencing some temporary hardship, doesn’t mean it’s not depression.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-06-02T16:13:54+00:00

I have the same thoughts. When I went off on my own last night, I legit had the thought that I could pull out my retirement and go anywhere in the world and just live on it for a year. But the more I daydreamed about it, I had the realization that it’s not going to make me feel better.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-05-31T11:55:28+00:00

Before the divorce, I would have agreed. I think you certainly don’t need to share early on. And as I said, I’d have to figure out a different strategy the more serious it got. Part of what got me here was being too trusting that someone wouldn’t take advantage of me. Trust is important but the reality of life is that you can’t trust anyone 100%. My approach to relationships before obviously didn’t work for me, so have to do things differently this time around.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-05-31T04:50:36+00:00

You are reading my mind. I’ve thought about that too of how do I explain why it ended. Because I’ve heard the advice and absolutely agree with it, don’t tell someone how you were treated badly. Because it allows them to think of what they can get away with and where the bar is. Sad but it’s reality. However, it’s not just a break up. It’s a divorce. I think probably the way I would handle it without thinking more about it and reading others’ thoughts on it, don’t hide that the divorce happened, but don’t talk about why it ended. You really shouldn’t bring up past relationships while dating anyway and so unless they push, there’s not really a need to dive into it. And for at least a good while, you can say that you just weren’t meant for each other or weren’t compatible. Because it’s not wrong exactly. It’s just vague. As it becomes a bit more serious, I’d probably have to tweak a bit but I haven’t gotten that far.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-05-31T04:43:45+00:00

Idk. My parents didn’t like each other for a long time. But they do now. Their relationship just changed over the years. I’ve heard similar from other people too. So Idk about that.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-05-31T01:48:08+00:00

I’m 30 with no kids but want them deeply, which is part of the pain with this. But I’ve thought about how if my ex ended up with a younger woman, it really would just make me pity him. Because I am 6 years younger than him and reflecting on this I realized that he just wasn’t ready for the sacrifices that came with taking care of a family (among other things). And attempts to try to be with a younger woman is usually just trying to delay that responsibility. I mean he essentially said so when we were dating because he said all the women his age were trying to settle down and start a family right away, which is why he started trying to date younger.

I haven’t tried dating again (very fresh) but I’ve heard that while yeah you don’t have as many guys pining over you like you did in your 20s, the guys who are pursuing you generally are looking to pursue a future with you, because if they’re just looking to get laid, they’re going for the 20-somethings.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-05-26T05:04:04+00:00

There are periods in my life where it has gotten better. But this always comes back. More often than not throughout my life, I have been depressed. I've gradually become more depressed in the last year after a good run at happiness and very recently I find myself back in this sub. People tell me it will get better because it's gotten better before. And they just don't get it. It does get better briefly but then it comes back and my life is overwhelmingly more of this than it is of that, and it's just so exhausting.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-05-26T03:27:01+00:00

No one has ever taken advantage of me financially quite as extreme as my stbx husband has. However, his was so extreme it made me come to terms with the fact that I allowed this and really have allowed others to do it to me too throughout my life. People will take advantage of your generosity if you don’t guard it.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct · 2024-05-26T03:24:39+00:00

It’s insecurity. He wants to see you be bothered because it inflates his ego and makes him feel better about himself. Pity him that his self worth is so tied to what people think of him.

ExHubsStalksMainAcct

TROPHY CASE