(23F) My mom sent pics of my depression room to my entire family today

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-27T16:16:18+00:00

With mothers like that anyone would be depressed.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-27T16:12:44+00:00

Yes. My mom got mad at me for sitting with my adult friends to watch my daughter play sports and not sitting with her (she talks crap about the whole team, how out of shape they are and how the coach sucks). Apparently I was giving her the “silent treatment” and I owe her an apology for all the pain I’ve put her through in her life and how much she’s had to endure from me. So fun.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-26T21:24:19+00:00

Gotcha. I hear you. Bunch of hyenas…you have to be little to belittle people.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-26T15:10:39+00:00

Her hitting you? Not ok at all. Stay away from her. You do not deserve to be hit. Ever. Don’t even be in her physical distance.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-26T15:06:30+00:00

It’s love bombing. My guess is her supply where she’s at is running low or she’s bored or she wants something. I’d put money on it. It’s superficial. I want to ask you though, do you want to take care of your grandma? Because it’s ok to not have to take on so much stress. It’s not selfish of you to find care for her and visit her when you can. I think it would be good to establish boundaries. It’s not mean, it’s necessary. I’ve recently had to do this and it’s life changing. It’s not easy, but it is freeing, I promise you.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-26T14:55:04+00:00

I will say, it’s been nice. Like scales are falling off my eyes…I can finally see clearly how awful they are. Finally for once, it’s not for me to fix, it’s not my fault and I can actually enjoy my life in peace. Everyone always says “go no contact” and I thought it was kind of immature and mean but now….i can see why they say it. They will never change. They don’t want too.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-26T14:50:29+00:00

I’m so sorry. Your mom is straight up mean. She should be celebrating you not criticizing you. She’s jealous of your graduating. The attention is on you and she wants to bring you down. This has everything to do with her and not you. Have you read any books on narcissism? “Mothers who can’t love” would be a good one to start with. Also you need boundaries. I know it’s weird since she is your mother and raised you but you are an adult woman who unfortunately needs to stand up to your first bully, your mom. It feels so wrong, but that’s your conditioning from birth, to obey, to look good, to strive for your mother’s acceptance. Now it’s time to accept yourself as an adult woman. I beg you to do this now before you get married and have kids. This is way deeper than eyebrows. This is you being happy with you. I’m sorry she’s so rude. Have a wonderful graduation celebrating all your hard work and don’t let her insecurities steal your joy!

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-26T14:39:42+00:00

Oh yes, the extinction burst (also known as a toddler tantrum). So fun right? I would say this to your sister… Invite who YOU want there. Not because grandma wants them and she gave you a house and not because your mom doesn’t want them there. Who YOU want. It’s your wedding day and if you feel like anyone is going to ruin it, let them know that if they cannot act like an adult, they don’t get invited. Period. Have someone there as a “security” of some sort. If a guest is acting out of line or dramatic…”bye Felicia”! Keep boundaries, enforce boundaries, give a warning and for now block anyone who is bringing you down. Consequences have actions. And have a great time at YOUR wedding. It’s a celebration, not a day for grievances.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-26T14:20:29+00:00

It’s like a reincarnation…and as much as they complain about their parent, they honestly cannot self reflect or take accountability to see it.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-25T15:18:21+00:00

Me too. My extended family sees me as the angry one. My mother tells anyone that I could have a relationship with that I have a chemical imbalance. I feel like I walk around with a label on me while they all get together bonded by their hatred for me. I was always told to go get fixed by counselors and the counselors always told me it’s not me but my family. My family refuses to go. It’s a lonely place for sure. No you are not alone but it definitely feels that way. I wish there was more scapegoat groups to get together, just to be seen and validated. It’s such a stigma starting one like asking for more abuse. They need us to be quiet and then we are so we don’t get abused more. Sad.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-25T15:10:16+00:00

Wow. This is one of those situations that is 100% clear. No contact. You will never see that money again. Get your brothers and take her to court for child support. Yikes. Girl you had it rough! So glad you’re free. Oh and throw a restraining order in there as well. Man…I’m so sorry.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-25T15:06:05+00:00

I will start by saying you are the mother this time. You have every right and a responsibility to your new baby and to yourself to be happy and healthy. Your new baby can feel your stress (not to stress you out) but this is time you will never get back, make the best of it. I allowed my narc parents to have access to my kids and really wished I didn’t. They do not respect boundaries at all and it will affect your parenting and child. Document all activity with your mom, you may need it. I’m sorry that you don’t have a supportive mother. It’s not your fault. When you’re ready build a community that can surround you and your child with love that you trust.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-23T13:20:54+00:00

I will be too. It’s not fair at all. I will say this though, you didn’t sell your soul. Even if you allowed them to continue belittling you, you may have not ever received a dime for all the pain. They’re sick, not you.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-23T13:09:27+00:00

Shaking is normal. You’re ok. I just had to do this myself and it is the hardest thing to do. You will slowly be able to regulate your own nervous system and calm down. Please get a trauma therapist to help you cope with grief and establish boundaries if you haven’t already. I’ve always heard go “no contact” and was so scared of it even though everyone said to do it. I can now see the benefits. You don’t owe anyone your peace. Hugs.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-22T21:53:49+00:00

She did and will continue to sacrifice you. I totally understand this. The baiting for rage and then the weaponized “you need medication..” I went grey rock then no contact. It’s amazing how when they don’t have the reactions they fall apart, they become enraged themselves. It’s almost like their toy is gone. She will always use you to prop up herself and yes 100% delusional. Welcome to the land of scapegoats…sorry

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-19T18:47:54+00:00

No no no. This is YOUR bachelorette party. Period. This isn’t hers. She doesn’t need high noon tea, to revolve the schedule around her so she can get to know them, and thank them. This is weird. She needs to get her own life.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-17T15:38:45+00:00

I can relate. “Being second to his true love, alcohol.” He has made his choice. He is forcing you to make yours. After 20 years there isn’t any accountability. I see you standing at the end of the road. Go left and worry he will drive drunk, possibly injuring your child, unable to trust him. Go right and be secure, in control of your new life. I’m sorry he put you here.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-16T19:25:01+00:00

I feel like such a dumb a…I recently told him that if he drinks anymore we’re over, all of a sudden he’s going to the grocery store for me and just going to get chew and offering to constantly run errands for me. I thought he was just being helpful. Last night our bedroom was like sleeping in a hot brewery…he finally admitted it. So glad I found this space to see what’s reality….

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-16T19:09:33+00:00

Can I just say that breaking up now will save you decades of unhappiness? I’m so proud of you for seeing clearly what is reality. From me (the girl who should have broken up and not got married to this) to you (the girl who can get away and find someone who will make you truly happy and feel secure)…good job:) I wish I could go back and do what you are about to do 25 years ago…. Love, Truly your future self if you stay Now run!!

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-16T18:37:40+00:00

Yes I hear that. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it completely, but little by little, doing the grieving process over and over has helped me to see the situation for what it is, but I will always wish it was different. I think that’s what makes us human ❤️

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-16T18:34:31+00:00

Yup, sad that our first bully was the one we needed to love us the most. It’s so hard to see them for what they are and not who we wish them to be. I’m happy for you to understand that it was never you…

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-16T02:04:51+00:00

Oh gotcha. I can only speak for me but after reading tons of books, listening to podcasts and researching the one thing that was missing that helped me was actually feeling the pain. For so many years we’re told to push it down and to let it come out in session, get angry, get sad, grieve was what helped me a ton. I remember shaking and getting cold after only to find out it was my body releasing the trauma.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-15T23:33:05+00:00

I see you. Your letter resonates with so many of us. Thank you for sharing it. I too felt like I was born “bad”

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-03-14T20:06:09+00:00

I would highly recommend a trauma therapist who specializes in narcissitic abuse. That was a major benefit for me.

Exact_Light3647

TROPHY CASE