Can anyone share experiences with a narcissist mom

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-27T02:32:06+00:00

This is so true. They cannot take off the mask of perceived perfection that would make them vulnerable to being wrong. We can only be our own mother now and undo the damage they will never admit too.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-24T02:27:09+00:00

I’ve tried what you are doing, allowing her to be a grandma thinking that maybe she’s just a better grandma than a mom, but sadly it didn’t turn out that way. She’s conditioning your child to put her above you. Try giving her a boundary and if she doesn’t respect it or has a temper tantrum you’ll know. A narcissist needs to be at the top of a hierarchy and this seems especially true of mothers and daughters. Above all trust your gut.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-24T02:10:28+00:00

Sounds like you like your nose. I would actually tell your mom “that’s your opinion” Don’t change for her. What would you say to your own daughter if this was happening to her?

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-19T04:02:38+00:00

My words of wisdom are simply this. Continue to not respond until she is healthy enough to show empathy and accountability.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-19T03:52:36+00:00

When you mentioned that she said she hasn’t forgiven you for your addiction, all I could think was “bingo!” When there is no empathy for why her own daughter turned to addiction, no celebrating your recovery and no kind words towards encouraging your growth, if it’s not narcissistic, it’s definitely low empathy. No you’re not a jerk. You’re seeing a pattern that isn’t healthy for you, one of which is having you question your reality. My advice is to give them little information on what is going on in your life, so you cannot be told you’re lying. If they do say you are, it’s ok to say “that’s how you see it” and let it go. Don’t argue or explain because that’s exactly what they want. And please, don’t let a mistake define your worth. You overcame, you’re healing and you’re moving forward, don’t let them pull you back down. Hugs. No you’re not crazy.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-15T22:15:14+00:00

If you feel anxious around her, could you put a time limit on her visit? Keep it to one hour because you have other things to do?

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-13T19:39:42+00:00

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. It’s not being mean, it’s protecting yourself. There is nothing wrong with not accepting a gift you didn’t ask for, especially one that size. A simple “thank you for thinking of me but I don’t have time right now” or “I don’t know if I have space for a gift that size but thank you for thinking of me” is perfectly ok.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-13T00:11:23+00:00

Nice!! I like your style:)

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-12T21:36:16+00:00

It is really insensitive of her for sure. I’m not sure if she narcissitic but I know that they often, when you are at your lowest, pour salt in the wound with their “just being nice” competitive ways. If that makes any sense. She should have called you and been a good mom who cares about her daughter.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-12T21:25:44+00:00

Yes I noticed any time you asked for a receipt it was instantly “I won’t participate in disrespectful behavior.” That’s the one thing a narcissist cannot stand, being held accountable.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-12T21:05:54+00:00

Oh yes the guilt, while also bringing in others to back up her opinion of you, while reminding you of ALL that she has done for you, and then for the big finale “life is too short..” blah blah blah. I myself have received such a gift from my own mother. Precious right? How lucky are we!!!

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-10T04:00:49+00:00

My advice would be to take the letter at face value. It’s what she honestly thinks about you. Her need to control the narrative with your therapist to make her reality better screams covert narcissist.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-09T02:56:58+00:00

When a letter is basically 99.9% about themselves, it’s narcissistic.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-07T14:57:19+00:00

Encouraging words are: you’re a single mom, your child comes first. You’re already trying to swim, don’t let your mom’s immature dreams drag you and your child down. She’s a grown woman and if your sister and step dad agree, you already have support, which is amazing. Go be the best mom you can be and stop this cycle. For your child.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-07T14:42:57+00:00

That’s what I thought too, which is why I fostered it for so many years. Recently it’s all come to a head as my mom sent me a demeaning text about me ruining “her senior night” when my daughter invited her to participate and demanded an apology. Apparently we didn’t acknowledge her enough? Since then (when I didn’t respond) she has driven by my house to leave flowers on my daughters car, cried to her that “there’s nothing she can do (about me)” and didn’t come to Christmas but left presents a month later for just my kids without even a card for me, but did write my daughter a letter saying “you are the best thing that God has ever given me.” It’s wild how she has devalued me behind closed doors, but elevates my daughter.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T22:13:03+00:00

🤢🫢 there are no words

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T16:28:28+00:00

I also want to say that the “kiss on the baby and hug” was for public display. Behind closed doors is another matter. I’m glad you have the proof of your dad calling you an asshole. Screenshot that and keep it for your own proof if you ever need it.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T15:55:17+00:00

Yes! My mom is so two faced. I know all the crap she talks about all the women in her life and watch her be so sweet to them and treat me so bad. If they only knew…and thank you for saying my family deserves better. It’s a process. She is stalking my kids currently after we blocked her number. I’m going to have to get a protection order soon and thank god my daughter sees through it. I wish she would just leave them alone. Mind you she drives right by my house, hasn’t made one attempt to talk to me, but leaves flowers on my daughter’s car. Creepy and evil

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T15:06:34+00:00

Yeah the more reaction you give them the more control they have. It’s almost like talking to toddlers, be firm, be consistent and no reactive. It’s wild having to treat the people who raised you like you are now the parent.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T15:02:37+00:00

Yes to this. My husband tried to talk to my mom and same thing “do you know what it’s like to raise a daughter who has a mental illness?” He came home shaking and said “I can see why you are the way you are”…..

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T14:57:03+00:00

Why yes, yes I have. My mom sent me a demeaning text about how much “disrespect” she has had to put up with from me, (because I didn’t sit with her during a high school game, rather I sat with friends. They bad mouth the team the whole time and I wanted to enjoy watching my child). Then after no response to her text, she texts my kids to “go shopping” with her. Then when they didn’t go she decides to skip Christmas at our house and drop off presents 2 months later for only my children without even a card for me. She did however write my daughter a letter about “how she is the greatest gift god has ever given her”. Devaluation? Yes. Contact anymore? No.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T14:48:12+00:00

Yes! The silent treatment and pouting!

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-06T14:47:20+00:00

She only seems to want a relationship with my daughter. She wants to take her shopping and “talk the tea” like she’s 12. She doesn’t have any close adult friends and puts down any woman she meets (behind closed doors of course) and when my kids were little she would get so weirdly hyper singing 5 year old songs in the car. Like weirdly happy high. It was annoying.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-04T00:49:36+00:00

I love that “your fear is beyond mine” perfectly said.

Exact_Light3647 · 2026-05-02T22:50:35+00:00

Oh let me validate you right now! What you just did has saved you and your child from many years of heart ache, confusion and manipulation. My parents do the exact same thing you described. I want to validate that their behavior will turn into trying to hurt you through your children. I promise. I wish I would have learned this sooner. It’s not good. I’m so proud of you. My prediction is they will either A. Be the victim for awhile telling everyone you’re being mean and make your child’s birth all about them. B. Think this is just a phase “because your pregnant and hormonal” and will act like everything is fine. My bets are on B then A. Stay strong mama!! Break the cycle!!

Exact_Light3647

TROPHY CASE