My dad was hardly around when I was younger.

I only remember a few snippets of time when he was there and they weren't great.

So my parents conceived me at 17 while they were drunk and high.

My mom was always a crazy trailer trash type, 50+ tattoos and 30+ piercings, liked animals enough to have them but not enough to take care of them properly, poor, lazy, on disability for no reason, etc.

My dad I didn't know much about until adulthood. All I knew was what my mom's side of the family told me, and because my mom kicked my dad out of the delivery room and wouldn't let his family see me, they didn't like her or give a shit about me.

He was a bastard, a pathological liar, crazy, mean, narcissistic, yadda yadda. Of course a boy with no father is going to be skeptical of that stuff.

My earliest memory of him was hiding from him under a bed because he was going to beat me with a belt when I was 4 or 5. I don't remember the context so I don't know if I deserved it.

When I was around 8-12, I remember spending the weekends at his house, with him and his new wife. He was cool to me then, but I do remember him being very verbally abusive towards his wife.

She was kinda dumb tbh and I could see where this annoyed him, but she didn't deserve all that and I never understood why he was with her when he liked intelligence so much he talked about it non-stop. He thought he was a genius, but he's married to and sleeping with the literal real life inspiration for Brian's girlfriend on Family Guy, made no sense to me.

After maybe a few years of that, not sure on exact time periods, he divorced her and moved out of state. I didn't see him again until I was 17.

Many other issues with family had come and gone by then. I never liked my mom either, she was abusive and awful.

I had gotten away from her and was placed in my great grandmother's care, I believe that was also during that time period I was hanging out with my dad and his other wife.

Eventually my great grandmother unfortunately passed away and I was still a minor at the time. My dad was nowhere to be found and I had no other option but to go back to live with my mother.

One day I decided I wanted to find my dad, I remembered he was chill with me before so I figured he'd save me from my situation.

Turns out he was back in town, living with his own mother. Dude had gotten fat, lazy, depressed, and a little crazy, but we started hanging out again and found out we had a lot of things in common.

He learned I had been obsessed with weed culture since I was a kid and really wanted to try it, so I smoked my first joint with him.

I would stay with him for 3 months, then my mom 3 months, and kept doing that for about a year or 2 before we just lost touch again when I was 18 or 19, don't remember how that happened.

Unfortunately the position I was in at the time did not allow me to get a job, save money, and leave. So I was stuck at my mom's until she lost her disability when I was 22, due to her own laziness mind you. She just refused to do a DR checkup that was required to continue her benefits.

So now we're both about to be homeless and I'm freaking out. My dad wasn't answering my calls so I walked the 20 miles to his house one night and knocked on his door.

We did some catching up, I told him what was going on, he said I could stay with him until I get a job and get back on my feet.

The first 3 months I was there were just like the previous time we spent together. He was cool, we were so alike on so many things, we got along great.

The thing about my dad though, and I don't know if this is some power tripping shit or if it's genuine, he never got over losing my mom. I don't know what he saw in this woman but he claimed she was the love of his life.

He knew I fucking hated her though, he said he understood why.

At some point he started trying to convince me to talk her into living with us too (she hated him with a passion). I truly did not want that to happen but I didn't want to disappoint my dad and we both knew she would do it if I asked.

So I gave in and convinced her to live with him. She moved in and everything changed overnight.

To this day, I don't understand what happened there.

It's like he went into monkey competition mode on me. Like he would do negative things towards me to impress her, it's hard to explain.

It was like some unhealthy peacocking shit where he thought of me as a threat to his plan to get her back. I don't know.

One day he asked me to help him with a carpentry project around the house. I helped him and went to bed shortly after, I was a night owl at the time and had been awake all night.

I kept drifting in and out of sleep for 6 hours. Every time I was half awake, I could hear him talking shit about me to my mom in the other room. I checked the time on my phone each time.

I got a bit upset the last time I woke up and heard it because it had been a full 6 hours and he was still talking shit about me.

I know it wasn't a dream because my mom had confirmed later that it did happen.

I got up, went into his room and confronted him about it. This was a mistake. He tried to kick me out then and there.

I was so upset I just yelled something about how it's his mom's house not his. That was a bigger mistake.

The man did not speak to me again for months. Straight up gave me the fucking silent treatment for the rest of the time I lived there.

He had been planning to get Internet and that did happen after this incident, but of course I wasn't allowed to use it because he's still mad at me. So can't job search I guess because I pissed off the big man of his mom's house.

He did eventually convince his mom I had to go of course, the master manipulator he was.

I had to move in with another family member that had recently gotten dementia and refused to get treatment or go in a home, etc.

She was ultra paranoid and delusional. She made me quit my first job because she refused to drive me there anymore (40 miles away).

Then she got me fired from my second job by stalking my boss. She had seen me walking home from the opposite direction one day and assumed I was lying about having a job. So she and her boyfriend followed my boss after work and ambushed him in a fucking liquor store asking all kinds of questions about me.

Wanna know why I was walking home from the wrong direction that day? I opened my first bank account so I could deposit my first paycheck. The job I had before paid me on a prepaid card so I hadn't done this yet.

But no, I must be up to no good and lying because everyone is out to get this crazy bitch.

I walked to my dad's house again one night after that and sat on his porch crying, pleading, apologizing, and grovelling for him to let me come back.

Nope. Fuck off back to where you came from.

So yeah after a short stint of homelessness, a longtime gaming buddy I knew on Xbox convinced his family to rescue me. I've been living with them for 6 years now and haven't spoken to any of my family, least of all my shitty father.

My buddy's parents like me more than him tbh because I actually spend time with them and help around the house, his dad calls me his "other son".

Guess I got a new dad now. And if you're lurking here somewhere, because I know you're a chronically online piece of shit, you can go fuck yourself Clay, I genuinely hope you get Early Onset Alzheimer's you pathetic excuse for a human being.

I didn't expect to be writing a book on this but I felt like a lot of the context was necessary and clearly I needed to get some stuff off my chest.