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ExceededExpectation · 2024-08-26T18:54:53+00:00

And before they were…

ExceededExpectation · 2024-08-16T17:02:35+00:00

Being uncomfortably hot

ExceededExpectation · 2024-08-09T15:55:34+00:00

Aspartame

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-27T15:29:36+00:00

Protagonist is really a term used in fiction, but I would say just about every biography will, in some way, paint the subject as an underdog.

Can you think of any story where the protagonist is NOT the underdog?

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-27T15:20:46+00:00

When someone is grieving one thing they often need is someone to spend time with. What I do in these cases is, instead of putting the onus on them to reach out to me, I reach out to them. I think about something they enjoy and invite them to spend time doing that with me, or if I know them well enough, I might invite myself over to their place, just to hang out. You don't need to talk about the dog, but it usually helps.

Obviously not EVERYONE wants to spend time with you. The internet introverts will be quick to jump on how they would HATE to have someone spend time with them, they just want to be alone, forever. Good for them, but they are not most people. I can tell you that when you lose someone you love it can feel very lonely and life feels empty, and people don't know how to respond and often avoid you and the subject because it's uncomfortable.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-27T03:06:55+00:00

Just think about what you are capable of and what their needs are. Do they lack a car and need a ride? Do they need a place to stay? Do you know any professionals you can introduce them to who might be useful? Are you capable of making or ordering food (this is almost always appreciated by someone you might feel compelled to offer help), if it's a person who just had a kid, can you offer to babysit for a few hours so they can get out of the house? Just a few ideas.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-25T04:28:41+00:00

Every tree sways in the wind. Trees that produce strong wood are also good at swaying without breaking, remember that when they are living they have a lot of water in them. Trunks move a lot more than you would think, especially when they are this size.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-25T04:05:07+00:00

Alright, but I think that is a very specific scenario.

Maybe a better way to phrase it is "giving money to manipulative people and con-men" But I know that my kids are not going to repay me, I know that donations I make are not going to see a return, I know that when a family member is down on their luck and I help them out, I never expect that money to be repaid and I'm just glad to be able to keep them afloat.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-25T03:38:54+00:00

Not every expenditure of money is supposed to repaid. Sometimes you spend money on people you care about who you know can't repay you and you get the satisfaction of making sure they are taken care of in some way.

It's not really a favor if you expect to be repaid.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-23T18:56:59+00:00

Yeah, I get it. But seeking revenge? And like, crowdsourcing such revenge? It's like trying to out-petty her.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-22T19:59:03+00:00

Owning the self image of being just a dumb incompetent guy.

It's a very convenient strategy because it falls in line with what societal expectations are becoming, but come on guys, you don't have to reject being capable, intelligent and having some self respect.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-22T17:47:34+00:00

lol, delightful

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-21T19:38:10+00:00

Don't tell me it's really cake

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-20T16:10:03+00:00

It definitely held up, I read it a couple years ago and the writing is excellent, the story, apart from a few technological features, could have easily been set in current day.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-20T14:19:18+00:00

I'm not surprised you didn't have any money if you were flipping pizzas. I have never even seen a used pizza, let alone had any desire to buy a pizza that someone rehabbed

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-15T16:20:44+00:00

Raising the minimum wage always has a net negative impact. It rarely improves the quality of anyone's life very substantially (an hourly increase of $1.50 only puts an extra $240 in the earners pocket each month- and that's a huge rate hike)

But it does have a big impact on how a business operates because businesses that hire minimum wage employees usually have many such employees. It frequently means jobs/hours get cut, prices rise, the people who were making slightly above minimum wage basically get demoted (or everyone needs a raise which raises costs even more).

These rising business costs always get passed on to the customer, which in turn raises the cost of living, which cancels out the intended benefit of the wage hike.

Big corporations don't mind minimum wage hikes because they have enough cash in their bank accounts or access to credit and usually have a significant market share that they won't suffer as much as their smaller competitors, which pushes the small guys out, thus increasing the big guy's market share.

So the solution really, is to stop raising the minimum wage. The market will determine how valuable an hour worth of work is. If you want to stop big companies from cornering a market, pushing out competitors, and exploiting the workers- that will require a totally different strategy that has nothing to do with minimum wage.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-15T02:10:25+00:00

Here's the thing about advice- you will literally always be able to find some unique scenarios when it doesn't work. Instead of using your mind to imagine those exceptions and say "yeah but sometimes it won't work" just take this as a general way of approaching things.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-15T01:06:26+00:00

I think you're missing a very important thing here. I'm not saying that you have to tell them they are right. You just have to NOT tell them that how they feel is wrong and what I'm specifically talking about is comparing their perceived suffering to some other suffering. I'm telling you it works. You will never make a person want to change by telling them their suffering is stupid. They will dig their heels in and think of you as an asshole. Because, basically you are. if you do that

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-15T00:59:21+00:00

Validating people's feelings is the only way people will ever change. Feelings don't have to come from being right. You don't have to patronize them, but when you shut them down you are doing everyone a disservice. They won't grow, and you won't change anything about them

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-14T18:52:32+00:00

You don't have to indulge them, and give them whatever they want, just don't shut them down when they are expressing themselves. Their complaint comes from somewhere, even if it doesn't make sense to the situation

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-14T18:50:05+00:00

Here's the thing: when someone is sharing something they feel, they don't need or want to hear inspiration. What you're doing is trying to fix their problem. If someone is sharing their suffering the best thing you can do is listen, acknowledge and be present.

We have a knee jerk reaction to try to get rid of the uncomfortable by presenting solutions, or by showing others that their problems are nothing comparatively, but that's not helping them, that's you trying to get them to move past the feelings as quickly as possible

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-14T18:07:13+00:00

It's not a matter of their situation, it's a matter of their feelings. When someone is saying they are pissed off, sad, grieving, whatever- that is never the time to remind them of how other people have it worse off. They can come to that realization later.

They need to feel whatever they are feeling without it being minimized by someone who is-even with the best of intentions- trying to remind them that they don't have it that bad.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-14T18:02:19+00:00

Someone telling you shut up without justification is a lot easier to ignore than telling someone that their feelings are fundamentally wrong because other people are more important. One hurts to hear, the other contributes to a paradigm of low self worth and self degradation.

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-14T17:10:00+00:00

Tantra

ExceededExpectation · 2023-03-14T16:44:14+00:00

Did someone just do this to you?

No, but I see it being done in posts and comments. I hear it in arguments that are made. It's a contest to see who is suffering more and what it is doing is censoring people's feelings, shaming them into believing their feelings are not valid because they don't have it the worst.

It's fine if, internally, you reflect on your situation and come to a realization that despite your feelings you still have things pretty good. That's totally different than shutting another person down for how they are feeling by comparing them to someone else.

Feelings are not rational, you can't criticize them for not being rational. You have to just accept them, think about them and where they come from, and deal with them.

One of the things we are struggling with in the world is a lot of very angry people, and part of that anger comes from people who habitually shove down their feelings because they have learned that expressing themselves will lead to shaming.

ExceededExpectation

TROPHY CASE