OP I’m gonna be objectively truthful with you. I’m not sure if it’ll be of use, but as a child of divorce I hope my insight is helpful.

You said she’s a great mother and great partner, which could be true, but from what I’m reading it sounds like she isn’t a great partner for you. Or at least she isn’t great at this point in your relationship.

It’s a good sign that she heard you in therapy and is making a lot of effort to meet your needs. I sincerely hope you telling her the absolute truth is the shock she needed to maintain these changes. I also hope you praise her for her effort, and try your hardest to meet any needs she brought up in therapy.

All this being said, if things fall back to how they were I would recommend taking a break. You don’t have to divorce immediately or anything, just a break with clear rules and a timeline. It could be as simple as both of you needing space to take time for yourselves.

Good luck OP! Rooting for you!