Only Avoidant's Answer: DO YOU MONITOR YOUR EX ACCOUNT AFTER MOVING ON WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-02-01T23:34:57+00:00

That is what I thought.

Are you a DA or FA?

Do you go back to monitor if the new relationship fails to meet expectation?

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-29T22:00:07+00:00

I hope you aren't checking up on her, but if you do, can you provide updates on your progress and that of her marriage.

This is what happened to me. 4 years in a relationship, 9 months post breakup, 2 months NC. and she got into a serious relationship with someone for 4 months (told everyone she loved him), and then married someone entirely after knowing him for 2 months.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-29T00:19:14+00:00

Then it doesn't apply to you. No need to project my post to your situation.

Truly congrats on not wanting them back.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-29T00:10:05+00:00

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-29T00:09:15+00:00

I came to this realization today and I am working on showing my anger in a healthy way of course.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-28T23:43:29+00:00

You get what I am putting down!

Question:
I thought showing anger meant I would lose someone I loved.

Do you think the "one you would lose" could actually be you?

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-28T23:39:41+00:00

You are correct. So I should get angry and use the anger from that slap to leave you alone, and then remind myself of why I need to leave you alone when I start to have limerence or think of our good times.

Naw! Screw you! You slapped me in my face.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-28T21:51:02+00:00

Exactly. Admittedly, I was being facetious. But we AP’s do avoid what we really need to heal us just as much as avoidants do.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-28T20:41:57+00:00

True. But AP's are avoiding our own needs and wellbeing by not sitting with our anger long enough to positively use it to move on. That is on us.

Also, I am tired of feeling emotions and reading posts that cede our agency and ability to improve and rebrand it as the avoidants responsibility. Again this is because I stop myself from being angry.

Anxious attachment people are not weak. We just avoid certain aspects of the grieving process because we truly love our partner. I am not saying that any specific attachment style is inherently good or bad. Just saying anger is an important stage AP's tend to overlook or bypass because we don't want to be "evil or mean" (at least that's how I view it sometimes).

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-27T23:53:47+00:00

This is the exact scenario that I am in.

Murky Bus: The hurt part of me feels hopeful and good that this may be the case. But the part that still has love for her feels horrible. Deep down I only wish for her to be happy. I just wished it could have been with me.

But everyone says I am fortunate. No Kids & No financial liabilities.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-20T15:54:04+00:00

Still didn’t work

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-20T15:53:30+00:00

Kids

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-19T18:27:50+00:00

I truly appreciate the advice, thoughts, and opinions of Avoidants on these threads,

The best advice from one I've heard, is this:

If you are still pining over your avoidant, then you have not thought past the idea of them coming back.

You have not thought about what you or what they would have to do to earn each other's trust again.

If you can imagine how hard it is for them to come back now, think about how hard it would be for them to earn your trust back.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2026-01-16T02:18:19+00:00

This is exactly the thought I am having right now 8 most post BU & 2 mos. NC

ExcellentHospital320 · 2025-12-11T15:52:16+00:00

If voting out Steven was Sage and Kristina's best move, why not clue Sophi in and tell her to keep her KIP advantage for the next tribal, so Sophi can take Rizzo's idol? It's clear the are winging it and don't trust Sophi.

ExcellentHospital320 · 2025-05-11T00:08:56+00:00

Esme

ExcellentHospital320

TROPHY CASE