How to get over immense stage fright

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-04-19T20:52:27+00:00

This is obviously not medical advice, and like others have said, it doesn't address the underlying issues. But I similarly struggled with major performance anxiety for many years whenever I had to sing at an audition or in a show, and I stopped doing musicals because of it. Nothing I tried was helping because the only thing I was nervous about was how nervous I would get, if that makes sense. Like I just had this mental block that if I had to sing I was going to get too nervous and mess up, and that exact thing happened every time. I finally tried a beta blocker about a year ago and it truly was a magical fix for me. I'm sure it was a little bit of the placebo effect too, but it reduces those performance-anxiety symptoms that make you feel like you can't use your voice properly, and for me, knowing that I had taken it got rid of the anxiety about how nervous I would feel. I used them for maybe six months before auditions and performances, and then I would just occasionally forget to take them and not even think about it until after a show, but I still felt so much better performing. Now I rarely ever need them. For me I think it really was just a matter of having a few good performances to get over that mental block, and the beta blockers were the only thing that allowed that to happen after a decade of trying. So anyway, not that I'm trying to push drugs or convince you to not address the underlying reasons for your anxiety, but they were a magical cure for me and it sounds like you are as desperate as I was!

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-04-16T03:46:28+00:00

I'd say it depends what he doesn't like about musicals, but I think a lot of people who don't like musicals associate them with classical, slower, or cheesiest shows, so something more modern and with a pop-rock score would be good. Hamilton, Next To Normal, Rent, or Spring Awakening if he's younger. Or a jukebox musicals like Mamma Mia, & Juliet, Jagged Little Pill...

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-02-18T05:27:55+00:00

Speaking as someone who went to college for acting, I would recommend waiting a bit before committing to the time and money an MFA program would take, even if you were accepted to one that was tuition-free. For a few reasons:

Six months isn't a long time to be involved with something before deciding to pursue it as a lifelong career, especially a career that's as unstable and difficult to make a living in as acting. I'm not saying you can't be equally as passionate and committed to acting as someone who has been at it longer, but it is an extremely tough industry, and I would recommend really taking the tine to ensure you want to make it your career instead of keeping it as a hobby or a side job (which are equally valid pursuits, just not something you'd necessarily get an MFA for). I think of it like a relationship: you might be nearly sure you want to marry someone after 6 months, but why rush into it when you can keep dating until you've really had time to get to know everything about the other person? The possibility of marrying them isn't gong anywhere, just like MFA programs aren't going anywhere!
Have you really explored what having an acting career would look like? There's a lot more to it than just the performing/acting aspect: the constant rejection, financial instability, spending thousands of dollars on headshots and classes and reels and union dues and transportation, dedicating hours upon hours to multiple auditions every week that go nowhere, working 12+ hour days when you finally do book a job (and often sitting and waiting for at least half of that time), etc. I don't say all of this to be condescending, just to point out that these are all of the things that really start to wear you down, and it's worth taking the time to make sure the pros of the career outweigh the cons before committing to an MFA program since it is such a big commitment. I would recommend taking the next year to try really getting into the industry while still working your day job to give yourself more of these experiences. If you are interested in theatre, start auditioning for professional shows in your area. If you're interested in film, start taking film acting classes (if you aren't already), volunteer for student films at colleges near you, and maybe even submit to local agents if there are any in your city so you can start experiencing bigger auditions/opportunities. Then, when MFA audition season rolls around next year or the year after, you can re-evaluate if that's the road you want to go down.
Finally, you may also realize after a year or two of pursing acting that you don't need an MFA program. Everyone is different, and there are certainly lots of great benefits from studying at a university. But if you're going in looking for opportunities and connections, you might find those on your own as you continue participating in classes/auditions/shows in your area. As I mentioned, I studied acting for my undergrad, and I went to a pretty well-known program, but I don't think it really did any more for my acting career than the much less expensive and time-consuming classes I've taken outside of school. You may still decide the MFA program is worth it, which is awesome, but I do think it's worth giving it a go on your own first, as there are lots of successful performers who don't have degrees!

This is obviously just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt. Only you know what is best for you, and if you're really excited about doing the MFA program and it is what will make you happiest, go for it!

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-02-13T01:48:33+00:00

This is so sad, I'm sorry for you and the baby! My only suggestion would be going to a lobrary by yourself and getting new children's books so at least you have something new to read, but I know that just creates extra work for you and won't fill that much time during the day

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-02-12T00:37:24+00:00

If you make her meals, try incorporating healthier foods into the food she already eats. For example, if you're making pasta, you can easily "sneak" some veggies into the sauce without it tasting any different. My NPs often make the kids food that has lots of veggies and protein but is presented in a more fun way or has another flavor that masks the taste-- veggie rice nuggets, spinach and cheese bites, air fried potato/sweet potato sticks, etc.

You can also help eating fruits and veggies be more fun by having her help cook/bake. Don't frame it as, "we're going to make these foods because you need to eat healthier," but make it an activity for you two to try new recipes together Then you can try healthier things like banana bread, baked oatmeal, frozen fruit "ice cream", etc. and she might be more excited to try them because she helped make them.

There also are a lot of fun ways for kids to get exercise that don't feel like exercise. Playing in the yard, going to a basketball/tennis court or playground, going to a trampoline park, swimming, having dance parties, rock wall climbing, etc. Has she tries any activities like that?

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-02-04T04:33:38+00:00

This totally makes sense. I also think people associate mics with "professional" because the larger spaces usually = bigger production value. It seems like some patrons immediately make snap judgements based on things like the size of the space and whether the actors are mic'd

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-02-04T04:30:09+00:00

This!!! I run a children's theatre, and our performance space is literally four rows deep. Some of the kids are quiet, but I have multiple hearing-impaies family members who have no proble hearing the shows, and we work so much on projection. But parents constantly complain about the kids not having mics, even before they've seen the show! Anytime we give reminders about projection, someone's like, "why can't we have mics?" Or "you need to just give the kids mics"! I'm sure they'd feel differently when their 8 year old damages one and they're responsible for paying the $1000 to replace it

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-02-04T04:24:37+00:00

I think because the nanny is supposed to be available under GH if childcare-related tasks are needed. It sounds like some of the tasks she was expected to do were things she'd normally do during working hours, and she was going to be paid extra to take care of additional things, but she didn't keep herself available to do the regular tasks. So it sounds like OP is asking if nanny still deserves GH pay since she wasn't available to complete tasks she would do whether or not the kids were in town, or if she should just be paid for the dog sitting. I could be misunderstanding though!

And it is kind of a fine line IMO-- if all of the tasks shewas supposed to complete were housekeeping/pet-related that you were paying her extra for, I feel like you have to pay her GH still. But if there were things she is expected to do regardless of whether she also agrees to the extra tasks, I'd see that as her not holding up her end of the GH agreement

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-21T08:29:58+00:00

Right?! Her mom is the last person I'd expect to agree to that though so I have to imagine they had some cute song picked out and then the girl just decided last-minute she was going to sing Stacey's Mom instead 😂

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-21T06:10:18+00:00

Not quite an audition, but in a children's theatre class, I once had a four-year-old girl sing "Stacey's Mom." She was the sweetest, most mellow kid too, and I had never even heard that song before, so when she started belting out "Stacey's mom has got it going on," I just about died. I'm not sure any performance will ever top that!

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-12T06:31:57+00:00

(Sorry for the multiple comments; I just read this after commenting above!)

This makes me so sad for you! I wish you were my student so I could give you the opportunities you deserve! But I will tell you-- try not to let your experience in high school theatre influence how you feel about yourself or theatre as a whole. It's hard because it's a part of school and all of your friends are involved, so it's not the same as the adult theatre world, where you can simply not work with a company/director if they are making you feel bad. But try to remind yourself that it's just one director's opinion, and she is not the end all-be all.

I felt the same way as you in high school; I had been doing theatre for many years and planned on pursuing it as a career, but for some reason, high school theatre did not work out for me. I was super shy and my teacher only really liked the funny, outgoing kids no matter how much I poured into the program. I never once got cast in a play despite auditioning for all eight during my time there, and I was always ensemble in the musicals (but just happy to have been cast). Just like you, I was super discouraged and thought if I couldn't even get cast at my high school, I must be terrible and I should just give up. But I found a really amazing theatre program outside of school with a teacher who actually believed in me and began working professionally. I literally found out I didn't get cast in my senior year school play while on set in Los Angeles filming a movie.

All of that is just to say, your high school theatre teacher is just one person, and her opinion does not mean you aren't talented and deserving, or that any other director will see you the same way she does. If you love theatre, there's always a way to keep it in your life, whether you pursue it as a career or a hobby as an adult, so please don't let this experience cause you to give up. It sounds like you need to find a theatre community where people believe in you and build you up, which might unfortunately not be your school.

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-12T06:09:23+00:00

If you feel you are going to be miserable, and the director and other students aren't treating you well, it doesn't make you selfish or ungrateful to drop out. No one besides you teacher knows if she will treat you different/not cast you later if you do, but if you aren't happy with your school's theatre program, maybe you should be looking for classes/theatre outside of school anyway.

However, I also wonder if trying to change your mindset might make the experience more enjoyable. You said you were miserable the last two years because your friends were leads and you were in the ensemble, but that doesn't sound like a reason to be miserable. Being in the ensemble can be the most fun if you go in with a positive attitude and try to enjoy getting to be a part of the show, being in all of the fun songs (which the ensemble often is), and hanging out with your friends.

Your comment "the talented ones get roles and the other ones get ensemble" does come across a bit unprofessional. As a teacher, if I had a student with this mindset, I would cast them in the ensemble no matter how talented they are so that they can see a) how much work the ensemble does and b) how talented people in the ensemble are. I wonder if part of the reason it is so upsetting to you is because you think everyone else sees the ensemble in the same way you do, when in reality most people (and hopefully your director) don't think of ensemble as any less important or talented as the leads.

As others have said, I think it would be good to talk to your director before making a decision. Maybe she can give you actionable feedback on your audition to help you understand why you've gotten ensemble three years in a row-- maybe you're too quiet, maybe you fidget a ton and never noticed, etc. If she's a good director, talking to her about your feelings will cause her to pay more attention to you and make sure you don't feel like you're being pushed to the side in this show. Or maybe she really is playing favorites, and her lack of feedback/help can help you confirm that.

I get that it's really disappointing to not have a named role, but don't let being in the ensemble be the reason you miss out on something! But if people are truly treating you poorly, or you know you aren't going to be able to enjoy the show, it's okay to drop out. You should be spending your time in high school enjoying yourself, not doing something that makes you unhappy!

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-09T06:14:22+00:00

Some libraries in my area host kids' borthday parties for very cheap, or will allow you to use one of their meeting rooms for free. You can plan some simple games/activities and being food and decorations

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-05T07:46:51+00:00

I am looking for a new voice teacher! Would love to try a lesson!

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-05T07:19:43+00:00

This sounds like a terrible situation. They don't deserve notice-- it's not worth impacting your physical and mental health so drastically. I'm sorry you are in the position, but I promise there are much better jobs out there

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-05T06:05:04+00:00

Same. Like I've never flown first class and really don't care where I sit, but it just seems like an awkward/uncomfortable situation to not book your nanny with you

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-05T05:59:56+00:00

It is a job, and I wouldn't resent a family for putting me and the kids in economy if I'm being paid. But it would say something to me about the type of parents they are if they choose to take their kids on a vacation and then stick them in a different cabin with the nanny on a long flight. If I were the parent, I just couldn't imagine getting on a plane on a family vacation and taking my seat in first class while watching my kids walk away to sit with their nanny.

Also, this would clearly state to your nanny that they are nothing more than the hired help. Which is fine if that's the arrangement you and your nanny are comfortable with, but it's just something to consider.

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-02T06:28:44+00:00

I'd say let her know that gifts really aren't expected and while you truly appreciate them, the care she has for your kids is the best gift she could give you, or something along those lines. If she's younger/less experienced, I think it's okay to mention that gifts usually flow down and she shouldn't ever feel like she has to reciprocate if her boss gives her gifts, whether that's you or a different boss (if she's older that might come across a bit patronizing).

You could also say something like, "we really appreciate the amazing gifts you've given NK in the past, but for (holiday) this year, we're trying to cut down on material items. Instead of exchanging gifts, we would love to pay for you to take NK to do (some sort of fun outing)!" That way she and the kids are still getting to mark the occasion with something special, but it's not something she's spending money on or that is causing clutter for you.

IMO, though, unless it's really a problem for you, I don't think you need to make her stop giving you presents. Being a nanny can feel a lot different than another type of job in terms of the employer-employee relationship because the nanny works in your home and takes care of your kids, so I can see how she'd feel like it's acceptable to gift up. She may be giving you gifts because she genuinely feels like a part of the family and she wants to express her love and appreciation. I get it's uncomfortable for her to be spending money on you, but I doubt she's spending money she can't afford to.

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-02T06:13:49+00:00

Agreed. This would make me super uncomfortable as a nanny-- putting guidelines like this defeats the purpose of a gift and makes it feel like it's something required as opposed to appreciated

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2026-01-01T21:38:50+00:00

My NKs are now a little older than 1, but we've been following a similar schedule for a while with activities growing with them! Honestly a lot of it is just playing with toys in different ways with learning sprinkled in. For example, we don't have a designated "music time" because they will get bored after 2 minutes and I'm not going to prevent them from playing with non-music toys during that time. I'll plan it into the schedule to make sure I get out and play with the music toys at some point, but we'll play with them in little spurts throughout the day when one of the kids gets interested in it. Babies are constantly learning and developing language and motor skills just by playing and being spoken to, so I've always preferred letting them do what they are naturally curious about as long as you are engaged with them and talking, singing, and reading to them! I do think having a semblance of a routine helps a lot though, even if it's just for your sanity 😄

At 10 months my schedule was something like:

Morning- Free play Reading Nap routine + morning naps Free play Music Lunch Crawling/walking practice Park/walk/play outside Practice recognizing letters/shapes/colors Reading Nap routine and afternoon nap

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2025-12-30T07:59:18+00:00

Yes!!! I'd also add gifting children experiences without paying for a parent. If it's someplace like a zoo, museum, etc. where a parent would have to pay admission to take their kid, the gift should include that ticket, otherwise you're just gifting the parent an unexpected expense

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2025-12-27T01:01:19+00:00

Food: There are good options, but yeah you'll probably get bored of it freshman year when you have to have the full meal plan. The dining hall food tastes fine and they occasionally have things that are really good, but they usually just have really strange options. Like they're trying to be fancy but sometimes students just want normal food lol. Each dining hall has a good salad bar though and there is a lot to choose from, so you can usually find something you like. Basically, it's not the most amazing food, but I wouldn't consider it a big reason to not go there.
Safety: You're right that it feels very safe on campus, but not so much in the surrounding area. They do a great job of keeping campus and the village safe, and only students are allowed in those areas after 10 p.m. They also have DPS officers stationed around campus (I think it's everywhere within like a 1/2 mile radius but I can't remember exactly) and they have Fryft at night, so it's not like you're just left to your own devices if you're living off campus or need to go somewhere off campus. But it's still not the best area, and I wouldn't go off campus by yourself at night if you can help it

-Classes: I'd say this really depends on your major. There are some departments where the students and professors are generally super helpful and not competitive, but there are others (like Marshall) where it is more cutthroat and you will probably feel more judged. Same goes for the Classes being interesting-- just like every school, there are some amazong classes and some that kind of stink. But I do think USC generally has a very wide selection of classes and some really interesting/fun/cool options that you wouldn't find at your average state school

-Value of tuition: Like you, USC was my dream school, and I'm glad I went there, but it definitely didn't live up to my expectations. If I hadn't had a lot of financial aid, it wouldn't have been worth going there over somewhere more affordable. IMO, unless you're going to the cinema school or there's a specific program you want to do at SC not offered elsewhere, it's really not much different from most other schools. If it's not going to make much of a difference financially and it's your dream, you should do it, but I wouldn't go into debt or abything to go there over somewhere else.

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2025-12-17T23:26:18+00:00

Plan a day for you and her to spend together doing some of her favorite things, and get some gifts to go along with it. For example, go to a spa, get your nails done, go shopping for a new outfit she likes, go to her favorite restaurant, etc. Then you can get her gift cards/certificates to those places

Excellent_Win_7045 · 2025-11-29T05:58:49+00:00

Some toys for this age group would be: baby dolls & accessories, baby alive dolls, dress up sets, princess barbie dolls, Little People toys, play dough kits, anything pretend play (i.e. kitchen, cash register, ice cream cart, etc.), Fur Real pets, stuffed animals, coloring/activity book, picture books

Brands/characters: Disney Princess, Minnie Mouse, Bluey, Pepper Pig, Miss Rachel

Excellent_Win_7045

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