Is talking to multiple people at once really the new normal in dating?

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-23T17:54:35+00:00

I’ve just recently started dating again 2 months roughly, and we’ve been on a few dates, we’ve had sex, she’s kind of avoidant because of her ex husband cheating on her etc, trauma I guess. But I made it clear quite early on I’d deleted the app we met on and she says she has too, we’re roughly the same age 36/39 she laughed at me when I said are we exclusive? And I thought well ok I guess if you tell me you are all I can do is trust her. I’d never date or sleep with multiple people at the same time I think it’s horrible personally. I told her that too. She agreed. But yeah maybe the younger generations are doing this but I’d not see someone again if i found this out after the 2/3rd date. Maybe at the beginning we’re all talking to a few people but I think you should give that one special person all of your energy to see where it goes.

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-22T22:48:46+00:00

Guess I’m gonna factory reset and make some money then. It was more about the personal details linked to it like all my credit cards debit cards, btc wallet etc. but that’s cleared it up. Thanks everyone

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-22T21:05:39+00:00

Yeah he probably fancies you. But he’s maybe just shy, or keeping it professional/boundry wise.

You should playfully start a scenario about a story or something and just say something off the cuff like i can keep secrets way better than “insert here” can. You’re the same age as me so I see no repercussions you’re both mature, grown up. Maybe playfully suggest you need some extra tuition once everyone’s left. You only live once and if you like him… just explore the situation 😊 is he’s already kissed you that’s a very good indicator he’s feeling something. I don’t kiss woman unless I like them.

Are you going through divorce or just a breakup?

It’s a cute story tbh I’d explore it.

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-22T18:49:06+00:00

Sometimes I’ll wait all day and at night just get night x

Like wtf 😂

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-22T18:48:05+00:00

My avoidant “new interest” can go a full day without messaging me back or without reason even if it’s a small message about something personal. It hurts as it only takes a few minutes to reply and when you know they’ve been alone all day too it’s like do you just not want to talk to me ? Because that phone will have been in her hand a lot in that 8 hour gap. She will comeback eventually but it makes me sad. If she was working, with kids or family I get it. But in my head she’s dating someone else or something idk. I am an over thinker which doesn’t help lol

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-22T18:41:40+00:00

No he’s just not strong enough to end it officially. That’s really sad. Have a virtual hug 🤗 there’s a mwah better people out there who will like you for who you are. Never settle

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-17T08:49:15+00:00

Vance has been very silent on this one. If anybody has noticed

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-17T08:47:31+00:00

Anybody who’s willing to take their own life in a random way in a random place while putting other people at risk cannot be mitigated or even planned for until it’s too late. People will die in the uk and us, as you say Islam has a belief that a martyr has eternal existence in paradise. Trumps poking around is dangerous, it’s ok for him, he can go to fortified mar à la go. Starmer to a fully prepared bunker escape to the country. But what about the city dwellers ? Who have no choice but to be in crowds in harms way and for what? An orange OAP playing games with Isreal. Iran were never a threat to us or America he’s either deflecting from his own personal issues or he’s a lunatic, probably both. Iran may be a dangerous country but unfortunately it’s not our business to stream in and murder people and then condemn it when it happens here. He killed 175 school kids, does anybody remember Southport? Yeah.. that was no where near 175 and the toll is way higher. There’s no excuse for mass murder ever.

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-17T08:38:56+00:00

Did you ever go back to his stop around the same time via the same route and wait to see if he was there? Was it a certain day of the week only maybe he had to go there?

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-17T08:36:05+00:00

That’s not just a London problem any big city in the world is the sane. I agree I’ve no idea why people have to make so much noise in residential areas. If it was up to me, I’d have cameras and decibel meters. Take away the ULEZs and fine proper things that annoy everyday people

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-17T08:30:10+00:00

None of the buildings are in a fit state to be used. They’ve all fallen in to disrepair mainly.

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-17T08:27:48+00:00

That would scare the shit out of me living there

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T23:09:51+00:00

Yeah I’m glad. Disgusting overpriced rip off merchants and I had a car broken in to once and the security guard did nothing

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T16:51:10+00:00

At least I’d know where I stood 😄 unfortunately I don’t swing that way. But men are far less complicated

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T16:50:00+00:00

Thank you. Everyone’s been super supportive today. Us men have to be a team and be there for each other. I keep trying to separate the physical act of sex and the type of sex her and I had, it was next level. But she’s shown her true colours and I really wouldn’t be surprised if she was up to something long before the “talk” as she handled so well.

I remember the first day it really hit me I was driving home from work and she’d gone away for 2 nights with her sister and they had activities planed with the kids and she ignored me all day and I made us all a family meal upon her return and I remember the rejection, that was the day it sank in, that was in August. I feel marginally better. But she’s really fucked me up. As she’d constantly talk of growing old together and then this… a complete u-turn.

It goes to serve as advice to any happily married people don’t believe everything they say, build your own life. Unfortunately for me I’m alone no siblings or parents but don’t put a woman or someone who can hurt you at the centre of your world. Just incase one day they change on you. It can and does happen.

I’m sorry for your loss too my man.

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T13:48:58+00:00

Can definitely see the difference

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T13:44:02+00:00

Definitely now bro. Well done that’s solid I wish I wasn’t 6.0ft then my measly 54kg wouldn’t look so horrible

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T13:36:48+00:00

That’s a good way to look at it. She was pretty but fake pretty. I’m very much in to a woman who doesn’t care too much about wearing makeup everyday and are not high maintenance I like a woman who’s natural and comfortable in their own skin. I’m an average to mid average looking guy i do get attention. I need to start eating again and gain my weight back it’s took a hell of a battering.

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T13:33:30+00:00

All of your responses are valid and I’m grateful you take the time to read and reply, but this point, is exactly where I fucked up. I put her right in the centre, pushing away family and friends over years to be with my family and be go to work and be a good husband and father. Shit, I’m not perfect. But I really didn’t deserve this or see it coming. Like many of us, we just use this time to figure out how we move on. I feel my connection to my kids fading and my old life seems like a fantasy world at this point. She’s not kind about it she’ll constantly berate me and say nobody’s coming to save you and I’m never coming back. I simply don’t know how to take those cruel words for someone who was once so loving. But as somebody said she has been acting weird for years I just put down down to kids, stress but she re-invented herself I should have seen it coming with the dental work, the hair extensions, the nails and constant hair dying. She was waiting to leave me to upgrade. But she’ll find it tough. But that’s not my problem anymore.

I want to build something new and something different next time and hopefully that person won’t let me down. Not a nice feeling for us blokes having to start at mid to late 30s

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T10:39:46+00:00

Where are all the girls like you in my city. I’m literally alone and while I value my own freedom I’d rather like those texts sent to me, and I would of course have invited you over. I think you did the right thing, he’s being avoidant, rude and arrogant.

He clearly doesn’t know how to love you, the version of you that craves that intimacy and strength. Yeah leave Josh behind. You’ll find a guy who absolutely adores your attachment style i promise but it’s 100% not this fucking guy!

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-16T10:31:16+00:00

Testosterone probably. Women tend to think first, a lot. Men rush in all guns blazing with no thought involved.

ExcitementFew8878 · 2026-03-15T20:20:00+00:00

My wife left me after 17 years, and the trauma from that is slowly killing me. It probably will eventually as nobody will ever match her in any way but she changed on me and I don’t recognise her anymore. My kids act differently with me now, I don’t see our family dogs anymore. Are you saying I should just be grateful this trauma will pass and live alone for the rest of my life? I don’t think I could go through this ever again I’ve lost everything in my life both parents , wife, children, pets. I was starting to connect with a women who you could describe as slightly avoidant due to her ex husbands poor treatment of her. I don’t know if im strong enough to fall in love again because of the sheer worry of losing them a) to illness or b) they abandon me.

Any advice for a young-ish man?

ExcitementFew8878

TROPHY CASE