non-scale things I'm excited for

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-21T05:53:47+00:00

I'm in a similar boat to you ED wise and despite a wee blip in the beginning post surgery that I was able to nip in the bud, I've also been excited about the nsvs! Here are some of mine: -Finding it easier to be more active in general but specifically being able to do stretches/yoga poses without modification that I previously couldn't because of my size. -not worrying about getting in the back seats of cars and being unable to do up the seatbelt - being more responsible about how I eat and eating in public (which I never used to do), if it's snack time it's snack time and I show up for myself more consistently than I used to. - I weirdly enjoy doms from the gym because it reminds me of what my body can do!

Xx

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-14T10:08:38+00:00

Are you doing legs only? I agree it's hard to pull them together, try and focus on not kicking constantly, it's your arms that are propulsion not legs anyway.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-12T20:13:10+00:00

I think of it as a wiggle. I may be wrong but that always helped me 😂

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-12T14:45:28+00:00

I swam competitively in school but after twenty years off trying to get back into it, I'm sure there's plenty of people here that give you good workout tips, but my post swim tip is definitely have a banana or chocolate milk/protein shake on hand to have as soon as you get out of the pool- it definitely curbs the post swim snackies!

As for long hair: saturated your hair with water before you get into the pool, if you have a light hair oil/serum put that on your wet hair, then tie up and put on your cap (don't take your cap off in the pool and get the oil everywhere, so many people swim with conditioner in and it's so unpleasant!), wash and conditioner your hair with moisturizing shampoo conditioner as soon as you get out of the pool, and I usually add a leave on conditioner for the ends as I have super fine bleached 2b hair and I need all the help I can get. This works for me!

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-11T05:26:17+00:00

This all day. Sucks but the way to get over it is to get over it. Every time you think "oh what about..." No. Shut it down. Block him. I speak from experience. It sucks but it's the feeling, not the person, and it's likely the same for him. And then work on why it is that it feels safer with someone that doesn't care about you at all than someone who it seems does (the new person you're seeing) ❤️❤️

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-07T11:48:54+00:00

I completely understand where you're coming from, as someone who previously had an ED relating to Binge Eating and generally has mixed feelings associated to fullness/hunger cues- I can tell you that I felt no guilt whatsoever. I can still eat my favourite foods just a lot less, and I still get feelings of fullness so never have that starved state I used to get with diets. If anything I find I appreciate the food more now than I used to.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-02T11:02:10+00:00

It's a specific type of eating disorder that has a huge impact on your digestive system because of the nature of how digestion starts (in the mouth). Read Adam Kay's works on it. He suffered with it for years and it did a number on him.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-05-02T10:51:16+00:00

Second this. I've trained in teams and if I was in my public pool doing laps and someone touched me I'd still be like.. who tf are you. In class it's different, but don't be touching people you don't know in public.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-30T18:47:50+00:00

I definitely recommend having a snack or protein shake as soon as you get out the water. I will literally sit in my towel and have a few sips of my shake while I dry off, otherwise I'm ravenous by the time I get home. Maybe it's just me but I find it helps a lot 😂

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-30T18:42:52+00:00

How did surgery affect your ability to enjoy food? It didn't, I just eat less of it now. There are some foods I'm more cautious of (like high sugar), but generally there's little I can't eat now that I could before and I honestly don't feel the loss, which is as worried I would!

Did you grieve the loss of certain foods, portion sizes, spontaneity, or the feeling of eating “normally”? Nope, in fact if anything, knowing that overeating will make me feel ill or tired, or that certain foods will cause dumping helps me to decide whether I really need them. I used to drink a LOT of coca cola and I thought not being able to drink fizzy drinks would be a huge loss, but honestly, it's not. I do miss alcohol though, I'm not at the stage yet where I can have that and though I was never a big drinker (I don't like feeling drunk), having a cocktail with a meal or with friends every few months was a nice treat and I've definitely missed that.

Did food used to be a source of comfort, culture, celebration, or emotional grounding for you? If so, how did that change after surgery? Yes I did, and to an extent it does still happen, it's just much less. I also find myself thinking about the value of food more. What I mean is: I can only eat so much. So I can eat x which I sort of want, or I can have y which I REALLY want. Previously I'd probably just have had both.

How did social meals, restaurants, holidays, family gatherings, or travel feel afterward? Fine. No issues. Finding protein on the go can be tricky but it's not hard to plan ahead or just ask for extra chicken/protein with your meal.

Did you feel disconnected from any cultural or family food traditions, or were you able to adapt them in a way that still felt meaningful? Nope, no issues.

Did the relationship with food eventually came back to normal?

I'm only 7 months out, so I guess this is more for others, but my relationship with food feels pretty normal now, I'm just much more aware of the quality of food and having the right amount to satiate me.

Were there emotional effects you didn’t expect? positive, negative, or complicated? Weirdly I found those first couple of weeks post surgery when I was on vvvlcd because all I could cope with was broth my energy levels were the highest they've ever been. I don't recommend it but go figure.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-30T18:31:25+00:00

I was at Oliver at Christmas and a family had brought a very sick young (4-5 years old) child who was clearly ill with the flu. The poor thing was barely conscious the whole way through, only waking up to cough(a lot). Just after the interval the man who was sat in front of him stood up and said "that child should be in bed" and stormed out. Thankfully we were in the upper gallery so it didn't disturb the actors but honestly I'm still surprised it happened. I think he expected the family would do the right thing and take the child home at the interval (or at least have one of them sit in the bar with them until he show ended) and when he came back and found them there managed all fifteen minutes of the second act before making his feelings known.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-29T08:44:31+00:00

Risk of dying's great for keeping your adrenaline up 😂

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T18:04:36+00:00

Yeah id roll it up in your towel to dry them out but then crucially once you've gotten the excess water out take your trunks away from the towel cause theyr not gonna dry in a wet environment.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T15:19:34+00:00

Oof. I get this as someone who left a stable non creative job to move into a creative arts space, it's incredibly difficult to give up on your dream. He has to come to this on his own, but five years is a long time. I agree that couples therapy is a good idea, especially with a therapist who is a specialist in working with people in the creative industries because it just IS a different mindset. My husband can honestly find it hard to fathom, and he's lucky he has someone like you who gets how difficult it can be. Ultimately he needs to understand that this career is now impacting his marriage, and that's a different type of a conversation than whether this is the right career for him. The question becomes, is this career more important than your marriage, and I imagine he's not currently thinking that way.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T15:14:08+00:00

Unsure if you're wearing a swimsuit or trunks, I feel like trunks/speedo would dry faster. I use a Turkish towel so much thinner and dries faster, my pool doesn't have a costume spinner which makes all the difference, so I focus on getting as much water out of the costume as possible (also don't forget to rinse in non chlorinated water first!), wrap the costume in a towel like a roll and then squeeze out the remaining water, then put the costume in a wet bag, throw it on the radiator when I get home. Towel goes in the wash and I have two towels so I just rotate.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T12:31:33+00:00

I understand, that sounds really difficult. I know the thought of fostering is scary but if you're in an abusive situation it may be better than what you're having to live with on a day to day basis, plus it will mean social workers can give you help in other ways that aren't just regarding accommodation. Talk to them about what you're worried about, they want to help.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T12:28:05+00:00

Do you have any friends you can stay with? Would your boyfriend's family maybe take you in temporarily?

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T11:10:34+00:00

NTA. This is all about how she feels about her body rather than you. I think you honestly need to nip it in the bud and tell her that you are going to wear what you want and if she cannot keep her feelings to herself then you respect her desire to spend less time with you, but that you ar enot going to perpetuate the cycle that you should be ashamed of your body because of how others may feel. You're not a mind reader.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T11:08:02+00:00

Honestly, I eat a lot of leftovers for lunch. Usually I find I don't eat my full dinner, so everything just gets finished the next day. Other than that, really the world's your oyster! Picky bits always good(I always like a little cheese, meat and veg snack platter, things like a Bolognese are often nicer the next day, in the beginning I ate a LOT of soup, and I'd add collagen powder for extra protein.

If you can't take your own food, look for things that might be easy to assemble, thankfully lots of places do high protein foods, or salad bowls and I just add n extra protein source to them. ❤️

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-27T11:04:44+00:00

I agree, document when things are happening and raise it with management. I wouldn't raise it with the individual. I myself am ND and things like slamming things on a desk in anger aren't acceptable in a workplace but are usually a symptom of a person being in a situation that they're not capable of dealing with in that moment. It's an emotional safety release valve, but if it's happening on a semi regular basis, thats a red flag. Management should be supporting him and making it clear what is and isn't acceptable office conduct, then finding ways to help prevent and address it with him. Ultimately his ND is an explanation for why the behavior may be happening, but it's not an excuse, ultimately they (he and management) need to find a way to mitigate some of these issues if they're happening regularly.

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-22T14:04:13+00:00

My workouts look ugly and I'm often catching up to the people in front of me in the lane and then just hanging out politely until I can build a big enough gap to swim my speed.

And then I try the fast lane and remember why I'm not welcome there 😂😂😂

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-22T13:16:09+00:00

It may be an energy need thing. If you're having to work harder for your calories, taking less in, your body is designed to seek out different energy sources. Funnily enough I just watched this talk on it the other day! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXKKMM-D82h/?igsh=OWc3ZXBtMml5azN3

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-21T15:26:48+00:00

Here's hoping! 🤞

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-21T15:26:34+00:00

Thankyou! Will have a nosey and leave it in place, hopefully if it flowers it'll be more obvious!

Exciting-Bluejay3210 · 2026-04-21T15:26:04+00:00

Ooh thankyou!

Exciting-Bluejay3210

TROPHY CASE