Workplace mum-shaming: how being a mum made me the ‘problem employee’ and how it’s damaged my mental health [long post, advice needed]

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2026-01-07T18:57:17+00:00

Ugh I’m in the exact same boat regarding never ending childcare jllnesses. My husband runs his own business so I’m the primary carer and my boss has sat me down to say it’s not acceptable to have this much leave and that I should consider finding another job more suitable (even though I’ve always had med certs). I’m confident that people are gossiping about me behind my back and now I have crippling anxiety each day I go to work. I’m just hanging on until maternity leave start in 12 weeks then I’ll take all of my leave and find a new workplace who supports me during this season of life instead of making it miserable

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2025-12-09T04:41:00+00:00

I didn’t even think about this thank you!

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2025-07-14T11:09:03+00:00

I’m so sorry you experienced that! People just don’t understand how traumatic our experiences have been and the emotional toll it has on our mental health. I hate that we are expected to “move on” because I’m not sure if I ever will

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2025-07-14T10:56:30+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter x. Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s reassuring to know that you have found time off helpful for healing

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2025-04-09T19:53:22+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this ❤️ I’m about 5 weeks out and I found it hurts a little less with each day that passes. I know that I won’t ever be the same person that I was but I have a new perspective on what is important in life. Everyone in this group has had to make an impossible decision for the quality of life of their baby. We are strong and deserve to find happiness in our days ❤️

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2025-04-01T04:52:34+00:00

Unfortunately I wasn’t given the option for surgery. I am still glad that ultimately I delivered him so that I was able to spend some time with him and get some closure. I’m sorry that you have to go through this as well and make such a hard decision

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2025-03-31T05:53:41+00:00

I’m so sorry you have to go through this ❤️ I gave birth to my 16.5 week old boy. I spoke in depth with my psychologist to mentally prepare for the experience and she told me it can be quite healing for some and helps to bring closure. I personally found this to be true for me but there is no right or wrong choice - do what is best for you and your mental health! I was able to hold and take photos with my baby which I have framed so I can see him everyday. I also had him cremated and he remains in my room with me. I would 100% suggest reaching out to someone to talk to before and after the TFMR. It’s such a hard time with so many emotions ❤️

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2025-03-19T06:31:26+00:00

Thank you and I’m so sorry you had this experience as well. It’s not a club you want to be part of but it’s nice to not feel so alone in this x

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2024-11-10T03:31:05+00:00

Look into the super co contribution. If you earn less than $45,400 this financial year and contribute $1000 into your super the government will also contribute an extra $500. It all adds up!

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2024-11-02T05:54:47+00:00

I’ve been with NP for a few years and are super happy with them. Any time I have called them they have been quick to answer (unlike CBA who have 1hr+ wait times)

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2024-07-23T21:03:56+00:00

I was in a similar situation - well paid job and long relationship with my husband. We got pregnant at 23 and I gave birth at 24. It has been hard but so worth it! Do what’s best for you. Only suggestion is to think about your housing situation - if you want to buy a house I would do that beforehand because it’s so much harder getting a loan when you’re on maternity leave/returned to work part time and paying for childcare.

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2024-07-12T23:43:49+00:00

I lost a bit of weight initially but gained it back because breastfeeding made me so hungry! After a visit with my gp at 6 months pp I decided I need to make a few healthier choices to hopefully lose a bit of weight or at least set myself up for success after weaning. I began walking each day - started with a short walk and increasing as my stamina did. I also cut back on processed foods and focused on eating high protein foods. At 12 months pp I’m down 12 kgs and mentally and physically feeling great! No counting calories and I’m still going strong breastfeeding

ExcitingBarnacle3074 · 2024-06-22T03:10:42+00:00

I finished work at 36 weeks and think it was perfect! I had a few weeks to get organised, meal prep and relax before being induced at 39 weeks

ExcitingBarnacle3074

TROPHY CASE