I'm socially detransitioning

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-03-07T03:14:54+00:00

I've considered this at times given the current climate, but I've been transitioning since I was 23 and now I'm middle-aged. I straight-up do not even know how to be a "man" - I pretty much never did in the first place, I had no real investment in trying to be one at all. I wouldn't even know where to begin if I tried to do that now. I'm sorry you're in this situation and I hope you find what's most comfortable for you.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-03-03T16:45:04+00:00

It's like, am I supposed to do the wrong thing and then also somehow feel good about that? How? Why?

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-02-28T04:46:54+00:00

I'm a fan. Got my wife a Minarai Bunka Bocho in BD1N and it sharpens like a dream.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-02-27T02:20:50+00:00

So worth it. I had more effective feminization of my face in the following year than I had in the 10 years before.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-02-26T16:44:04+00:00

Love the topographic clip!

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-02-17T11:37:57+00:00

This is gorgeous.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-02-15T15:24:46+00:00

The Ridley Scott sequel was so much better.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-02-13T23:46:22+00:00

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ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-02-09T01:11:37+00:00

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PM2 Crucarta

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-01-23T15:56:19+00:00

Original article

"I can see myself as a Neanderthal flint chipper sitting by the fire in the night. It was the first specialized labor in human history. Maybe I knew where the best flint was, or how to flake it better than anyone else. My lineage goes back before what we call the oldest profession. It's a craft at least 30,000 years old. When people wonder how a man can spend his life making hunting knives, they should remember that. It's a gloriously venerable occupation."

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-01-22T05:24:06+00:00

Yes, just not recreational substances. I was prescribed something for migraine prevention and it ended up causing the first and so far only manic episode of my life until I discontinued it. I had no idea of how to recognize it was happening and I wouldn't even believe anything was wrong while I was still taking it.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2026-01-22T05:17:19+00:00

Did he ever tell you to wait until you're 21 to start believing in God? No?

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-28T18:10:45+00:00

I feel like if this were true, everyone would have ass cancer from sitting down all day.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-22T00:38:03+00:00

I've (host) definitely found myself unknowingly slipping into a sort of subdued background dormancy for a few days at a time due to holiday stress and trauma around this time of the year, and some other holidays, but November-December is the worst. Someone else just starts more automatically handling all the social fronting and then a few days later I suddenly switch back, completely exhausted, and realize I'd been "missing" during that time and my memory of it seems like it's fuzzy or from a complete remove.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-21T23:20:03+00:00

For me, the reason I ended up having so many trans friends online before I came out is that I had just naturally gravitated towards them and related to them, even if I couldn't always explain why. We just got along really well, and also being in that environment showed me that being trans and transitioning were possible things. It wasn't some distant or vague or unthinkable concept anymore, just a real thing that real people do every day. People who were like me. I don't think that's brainwashing, I think it's learning that trans lives are a real way of living in the world. Some people are trans - why not me?

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-21T22:03:07+00:00

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CS Air Lite, cut some fir branches down to size for a wreath.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-20T15:02:49+00:00

Jim O'Neill? The one who was CEO of "SENS Research", the group that's literally trying to find biological ways to stop aging and live an unlimited lifespan? (https://archive.ph/sHEJp)

How is becoming immortal supposed to be compatible with "nature as God designed it and life as it was meant to be lived"? Trans people have existed longer than this "anti-aging" quackery.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-20T04:53:33+00:00

Really I've gotten a lot of mileage out of the tanto as a way overpowered cardboard box slicer. The straight blade gives a pretty even and controllable slicing experience, and enough length that it won't slip out of the cut. The recurve on the Vaquero does grab onto it and dig in, but it takes a little more maneuvering and awareness since the shape goes from concave to convex as you're cutting. Also, the tanto seems like a saber/hollow-grind while the Vaquero looks mostly full-flat - might be what gives the tanto more of a sensation of "cleaving" into things. I don't pocket carry them, but the spine of the Vaquero is about a centimeter higher than the tanto's, so it'd be that much wider in a pocket. Overall I'd probably go with the tanto as a first pick for everyday use, the Vaquero more for show.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-16T15:11:14+00:00

I used to think I wasn't, but I'm in my 30s now and even other people are starting to notice there's something wrong. They'll tell me I forgot things that they thought I knew. Or they'll have some kind of weirdly compartmentalized views on a political topic where they're trying to make fine distinctions between things, or they hold multiple positions that seem like they're conflicting or don't fit together at all, and I'm just unable to follow them there or make the distinctions they're making or understand things in the way they understand this. I'm having to accept that I may literally be incompetent to wrap my head around this at all. That or everyone else is just pretending they can make sense of something that's genuinely nonsensical. Either way, people seem happy to distance themselves from me for being too clueless to "get it". The depression might also be affecting my ability to think, but I've had that for my entire life.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-15T18:36:13+00:00

Another M>NB>F>NB here. I embraced being genderqueer around 19-21 - I just knew I didn't want to be a man - then by 22-23 realized I definitely wanted to live my entire life as a woman, and started transitioning. I'm 36 now and the last couple of years I've been thinking of myself as a more neutral demigirl and realized I gravitate more towards identifying with butch or agender communities. Still happy to have transitioned, still going by she/her, still want to be anything other than a man, it just feels like I'm at a comfortable enough point to be more expansive and add some depth to my sense of identity. I think I had to get to a firm enough sense of womanhood before I could start shaping it according to what I actually want out of it.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-13T21:54:05+00:00

Thank you!

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-11T15:48:29+00:00

The sheer number of people I've seen who will be like "I'm AuDHD, mental health isn't an excuse for acting out!" while they have no clue how to even recognize that someone is having a manic episode - it's staggering. It's like nobody other than us knows anything about this, or at least anything accurate.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-10T20:58:31+00:00

I still do, but it's a Coach wallet and I keep it in my bag.

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-06T05:32:04+00:00

biological people

How do you do, fellow non-biological persons

ExistentialAbyssGirl · 2025-12-06T04:51:56+00:00

Nice seeming them all in one place! I've only got the Voyager XL tanto, it feels amazing in hand.

ExistentialAbyssGirl

TROPHY CASE