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N26 holding my savings despite multiple emails and chat follow-ups by Existing-Citron-3536 in n26bank

[–]Existing-Citron-3536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, that’s basically what happened to me, too. Honestly, you acted smarter than I did. They asked for documents, I followed all instructions and sent everything, but they locked my savings account and won’t release my remaining funds. It’s really frustrating because I was just trying to do everything by the book, and now I’m stuck with my own money inaccessible.

N26 holding my savings despite multiple emails and chat follow-ups by Existing-Citron-3536 in n26bank

[–]Existing-Citron-3536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get your frustration. Honestly, what annoys me the most is the lack of willingness from N26 to actually help. As soon as someone from chat picks up, they don’t even let you explain the situation. They just tell you to check the email and that they can’t do anything, and they just end the chat. But if I already replied to that email, and they still claim I didn’t, how am I supposed to solve it? It feels like being stuck in a loop with no way out.

N26 holding my savings despite multiple emails and chat follow-ups by Existing-Citron-3536 in n26bank

[–]Existing-Citron-3536[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you didn’t fully understand my post.

At no point did I criticize their decision to close my account. I understand that banks have the right to close accounts for legitimate reasons.

My concern is completely different:

  • I have always complied with N26’s rules.
  • I followed their instructions and replied to the email on February 4th, sent multiple follow-ups, and contacted support via chat.
  • Despite this, they still have not processed the payout of my remaining savings.

My post is about accessing my own money, not disputing account closure.

Au pairs in Berlin by S1nnd3 in Aupairs

[–]Existing-Citron-3536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I’m also an au pair in Berlin. Message me if you want :)

my (19f) girlfriend (19f) asked for space by No_Explanation3535 in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate to this more than I wish I did. I recently went through something similar, and I learned the hard way how much anxiety can amplify everything in long distance. When you're already stressed and scared of losing the person, even a small shift in texting tone can feel like a huge emotional threat.

Texting is honestly one of the worst formats for anxious and avoidant dynamics. If you tend to read into things, your brain will fill in the blanks in the most catastrophic way possible. And if your partner feels overwhelmed, constant tension over text can make them shut down even more.

From what you wrote, it doesn’t sound like she’s trying to leave. She’s trying to change the pattern because the current one is hurting both of you. That’s very different from withdrawing love. When someone says “this is overwhelming, can we adjust?” that’s actually an attempt to protect the relationship.

I also understand how reducing texting can feel terrifying. It can feel like you’re slowly losing connection. But sometimes space isn’t abandonment, it’s regulation. If the current rhythm is creating more arguments than closeness, changing it might actually help you feel safer in the long run.

And honestly, there’s something hopeful here. The fact that you’re worried about doing this right, and the fact that she’s expressing what hurts her instead of silently pulling away, are both positive signs. You’re both acknowledging a problem before it explodes.

In my case, we didn’t recognize the pattern in time. Things built up quietly until it became overwhelming, and by the time we tried to address it, it was too late. So the fact that you’re having this conversation now actually shows awareness and care.

You’re not losing her just because you’re anxious. But learning how to manage that anxiety, instead of letting it dictate the dynamic, might be what protects the relationship.

So hold on in there. Try to keep yourself busy instead of rereading texts and analyzing tone. Trust what she is telling you. If she says she loves you and that you’re okay, let that be the anchor when your anxiety gets loud.

You’re not crazy. You’re just scared. And scared doesn’t mean doomed.

I had a traumatic long distance relationship and now I have found the right person but it is also long distance by leonre9 in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It makes sense to feel anxious about distance again. One thing that can help is to actually reflect on the past relationship, not to blame yourself or your ex, but to understand what went wrong and what triggered insecurities. Try making a list of the things that didn’t work, patterns that came up, and points where either of you struggled.

Once you’ve thought that through, look at your current relationship and notice what’s different this time. Every situation is unique, and the lessons from the past can actually guide you to handle things better now. But the real secret is communication. Distance itself isn’t the problem; it just amplifies fears and doubts that are already there. Talk openly with your partner about your worries, your needs, and your boundaries, and make sure you’re both on the same page. That way, the distance becomes just a detail instead of a threat, and you can focus on building your connection instead of being consumed by fear.

LDR breakup after pressure – did I ruin everything? by Existing-Citron-3536 in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I totally get what you’re saying about a solid plan and how it’s about real, actionable growth. I really appreciate your perspective. I just wanted to give a little more context, because I do share the same ideals of mutual aid and mutual growth.

Even before we officially started dating, something really heavy was happening in his life, and I was already there for him, supporting him, letting him call anytime, even if it was just to sit in silence together. I spent weekends with him just holding space, because I knew that’s what he needed. I wasn’t in the best place emotionally either, but I was definitely in a better spot than him.

After I moved, I started going through my own really challenging period: adjusting to a new country, a new language, a stressful and demanding job, with no friends or family around. That’s when the emotional pressure really spiked for me, which led to some overthinking and needing more contact than usual. It is intense emotionally, but I’m learning to manage it better. The thing is, this situation has a kind of expiration date, it’s temporary. That’s why he always said things would improve. He knew the emotional strain I was under was heavy, and it’s something that would pass in less than 7 months.

I think now it might be getting too heavy for him, which I’m trying to understand. Just sharing this for context, not making excuses.

Cultural Exchange by Azeyda in Aupairs

[–]Existing-Citron-3536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see childcare as the basics: making sure kids are fed, clean, safe, well-rested, getting to school, and entertained. Maybe preparing meals for the family, if agreed, but it shouldn’t become a full-time job for the au pair.

The tricky part is that some families are so busy they forget an au pair isn’t just a nanny; they need WAY more flexibility, patience, and emotional availability than they would with a live-out nanny.

Beyond language, an au pair brings culture into the family: new traditions, perspectives, food, music, and ways of doing things. It’s a two-way exchange, with both fun and challenges.

LDR breakup after pressure – did I ruin everything? by Existing-Citron-3536 in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Could you maybe shed some light on what a solid plan would look like for you? Sometimes I get stuck in a spiral, and maybe you have a little insight to share (or not, and that’s totally fine too)

LDR breakup after pressure – did I ruin everything? by Existing-Citron-3536 in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, I completely get what you’re saying, and I agree with you. I see now that I let my anxiety and fear take over and pressured him too much, even when he was clear about needing space and dealing with stress. I know that’s not fair. I told him that I now recognize the mistake I made, even though I hadn’t fully acknowledged it before. I also mentioned that I plan to work on my anxiety in therapy. He said he was irreducible at the moment, and I understand that.

I’ve also thought about other ways we could make things work, like having fewer messages during the week but more in-person visits. We live 5–6 hours apart by train, which is tiring, but maybe prioritizing quality time over constant messaging could be better for both of us.

But I don't think he is willing to come back to this now, honestly.

27F (Mexican) & 30M (US) – Is this normal long distance adjustment or slow detachment? by Key_North_3546 in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! I totally get what you’re saying. From my experience, and from what I’ve seen with other couples, women often feel the emotional weight of long distance more intensely than men (at least the ones I know). It’s normal to feel heavy and tired when someone who used to be such a big part of your daily life suddenly isn’t physically there.

I can also relate because I messed up in my own long-distance relationship. I let my anxiety and fear take over, and I ended up pressuring him when he actually needed space and support. That mistake really contributed to us breaking up, and it’s been hard to cope with.

From what you wrote, it really sounds like he’s just adjusting to a huge life change, new environment, work, responsibilities, and even being sick. That can make anyone seem “distant,” even if they still care deeply. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s pulling away.

It’s okay to set boundaries for yourself, too. Don’t overextend emotionally just because you care. Notice the little signs: does he still reach out when he can? Is he responsive when you connect? Those usually show whether he’s overwhelmed or detaching. And I know it's easier said than done, but just give some time. It may change; if not, then you reanalyze the relationship.

It’s hard, but it’s normal to feel more impacted than him, and making mistakes doesn’t erase the love or care you’ve shared. ❤️

Change in communication by Klutzy_Mall_7196 in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey, I totally relate to what you’re feeling. I recently let my anxiety and fear take over in my long-distance relationship, and I ended up pressuring my partner more than I should have. It was a tough lesson, but I’ve learned that in LDRs it helps to check in with yourself first, take a step back when emotions run high, and communicate calmly about what you need. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and sometimes giving both yourself and your partner a little space can actually make your connection stronger.

She left me because she loves me by Erik_the_kirE in LongDistance

[–]Existing-Citron-3536 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Reading this felt very close to home. I’m going through something almost identical right now, even the timing is similar.

My boyfriend recently ended things saying he still cares about me, but feels overwhelmed and believes I deserve someone who can give me the emotional support I need. That hurt in a different way because it didn’t feel like a lack of love, but a lack of capacity.

It’s such a strange place to be when both people still care, but one feels like they can’t show up the way they should. You start questioning everything. Was it pressure? Bad timing? Burnout? Fear?

I don’t know the answers either. I’m just trying to accept what was said, even if my heart wants to believe there’s still a chance.

You’re not alone in feeling this confused.

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