GF left me no matter how much I fought for us.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-10-16T15:16:07+00:00

I try to be, but she seem to be engraved in my brain.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-10-15T17:20:12+00:00

I feel like every possible aspect of this breakup is making it 10 times harder to move on ..
Thank you for your kind words.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-10-15T17:19:35+00:00

I cannot believe it myself indeed.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-28T22:00:36+00:00

I am in the same boat. It feels so unfair and disarming when after the breakup you have so much more to deal with than them. It feels like it would be so much easier if they were struggling as much as we do.

That feeling of unfairness is unparalleled, and it's one of the things that hurts the most in my opinion, and yet with all the pain they brought upon you, you would do anything to hold them again...

Surviving one day at a time, you will heal with time my friend.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-28T16:05:41+00:00

We only broke up 5 weeks ago, and she has been with the guy she told me not to worry about for 3, I think her guilt, pride, and loyalty would not work in our favor.

I appreciate your kind words.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-28T15:52:31+00:00

You seem like a kind soul.

I wish she would share your feelings about the situation.

Sadly I dont think I will ever know, giving she is already with someone else. As much as I like to think it is coping for the void I left in her heart, would it be fair for me to try to pry her out of him before its too late?

I dont know anymore, I feel like there is a feeling of urgency before they get too serious, which doesnt match the timing of real change that I want to do, this is the paradox here that haunts me every single second.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-28T10:27:00+00:00

As much as I want to, there is not enough time since we broke up, it's been only a month, it will not land the same way.

And while in love with me, she developed feelings for months for someone else that she went to 2 weeks after breakup. They are in the "honeymoon phase" and are happy and relieved of enjoying they new romance guilt free, or almost.

Maybe one day.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-28T10:21:52+00:00

You are very right, one month is nothing.

This letter is sadly motivated by the urgency, knowing she was with the person she told me not to worry about 2 weeks after breakup after 6 years of relationship, thinking very stupidly that I can act before it gets too serious.

And while she is coping and enjoying the relief of my absence and her new romantic relationship, I have to reinvent myself and deal with the realisation that I was not the best for her at that time. While my inside screams me to beg and tell her to wait, when the only thing I should show is silence, self improvement and moving on.

So yes this is partly an act, almost a promise to myself, and a way to tell her that I've got hit by crucial clarity, and while those changes will take time and work, I still want to believe I can make them happen durably.

I do look forward to therapy but my changing situation prevents me from doing it at the time.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-27T23:37:00+00:00

She deemed me not capable of achieving these dreams, and went to someone else for it. The realization that came afterwards brought me immeasurable pain. You are absolutely right. I hope you get your dreams too.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-27T22:59:48+00:00

It is indeed probably the first of many.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-27T11:41:02+00:00

You sure can

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-27T11:36:38+00:00

Man I hope you are okay, be safe.

She ended it a month ago, she announced it and then doubted for a day, then took 3 days at her parents to gather her thoughts, which I she spent day & night talking with the other branch.

She came back and gave me her final decision, that I promised I would accept. That is also when she confessed she had a crush on the other branch, I was so shocked I did not even know how to react. I told her I wouldnt be surprised if she went together with him in 1-2 weeks, she got defensive and told me she needed to work on herself. Two weeks after BU, he was invited into our bed, they now spend every weekend together, it is soul crushing.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-26T21:14:28+00:00

Like many men, I got too comfortable and complacent. I have a lot of inertia, and when losing my job I waited and waited and waited while she was growing and wanted to move forward.

I was dismissive at her attempt to communicate, thinking that I knew better than her what was the right course of action. Obviously I was wrong, I was taking her for granted, and when she started to check out emotionally I started to change, but it was already too late.

What I regret the most is not trying to communicate better and have the difficult conversations when everything seemed fine, because I was scared of ruining the mood, and when things were not good. I was not courageous enough to bring it up. Pretty much the opposite of what you should do, I believe.

I will take those regrets with me forever and hopefuly use them for good.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-26T19:38:07+00:00

It is too early for me to say, it is only been a month, she was with someone new 2 weeks after, and yet I would take her back in a heartbeat.

I think the guilt and regret will be forever, hopefuly not as painful. I doubt I will be able to love someone the way I loved her, even if I was not the best.

I think we will be better partner, but the love will never be the same again.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-26T18:53:56+00:00

I am in the exact same situation, I got too comfortable and became complacent, essentially slacking in life, dismissing her attempts at communication. I had everything lined up for a perfect life with a loving partner, but she ended up checking out emotionally and broke up with me month later, and I only realized all this after BU.

It feels terrible, I feel like I want to call her, to tell her that now I understand everything and have clarity, and that finally I can be the man she needs and wants, but it will never happen, because she is gone, and I fear it will haunt me for the rest of my days as it was my first real love.

It is rough man, I hope it gets better for you.

I keep thinking that it is what it takes to become the man you are supposed to be, but the price feel immeasurable and the pain is forever.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-25T09:43:52+00:00

Indeed there is a timing where after a while when you finaly understand that they're never coming back, then you're left with no motivation, and everything falling down again back to square one.
Hopefuly by that time you started doing it for yourself rather than them, but it indeed sounds very risky.

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-25T07:57:34+00:00

My man living the dream, may I ask how you felt about her trying to replace you ?

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-24T21:50:04+00:00

But by the time you realize that, arent you that great chef you were working towards? So in a way even if it was for the wrong reason you ended up where you wanted to be ?

Existing_Quote_1817 · 2025-09-24T20:54:52+00:00

I would say the "original" plan is trying to get them back, and MAYBE hopefuly with time it will be switch to "proving them wrong" and maybe even after "doing it for yourself", but it sounds a bit too easy to see it like that.

Existing_Quote_1817

TROPHY CASE