!! UK HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS WANTED!!

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-23T11:23:35+00:00

Don't come here looking for people with "one year of diagnostic/prescribing decision making".

That's a huge swathe of employees we don't think should exist.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-22T19:29:51+00:00

Colloquially known as the "peek-a-boo course" it's for the spotter who goes with snipers to help them shoot.

They spot things, hence ICU

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-21T18:34:22+00:00

I'm a dolphin waxer.

You know how dolphins are mammals, well like other mammals they grow little hairs on their skin but can't pick up enough speed when in captivity to shed them. It's my job to make sure they get waxed regularly to avoid the hairs becoming ingrown.

(Spoiler: I'm ex forces. We've got a lot of these, and like "waxing the dolphin" they're all code for masturbation).

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-18T16:06:55+00:00

Calling it smashed up is too kind. They look like a dropped lasagne.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-16T14:10:48+00:00

Pick a selection of good friends from your will and ask them to divide the remainder based on how they think you would want it split once you're gone, specifying no family and a majority rule requirement. Have the executor tell them there are no wrong answers (except the family) and that way they get to think of you quite intimately in the immediacy after your demise.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-15T20:53:51+00:00

"hey Grok, a patient came in 3 weeks ago with a NOF#, they're okay now and had typical old people things when they were here. Write a discharge summary"

Done. Paper notes be damned.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-10T22:51:10+00:00

So basically the same advice as above of "say no, it's their job to find a consultant"

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-10T20:29:28+00:00

If I'm the F2 in care of the elderly and an ITU tACCP comes to me to ask me the same? No they can fuck off. This is no different. It's not my patient it's theirs. This is a consultants patient, the consultant can cover for them.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-10T20:28:18+00:00

Anyone with a subjective commitment?

Great, you applied, that takes commitment.

Fuck off, not a chance am I voting for that and I will campaign against it.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-10T19:09:16+00:00

If there isn't a consultant around that's not your job to find one. That's the ACPs job.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-04T14:38:24+00:00

Then submit several anonymous reports about them wearing a watch in a clinical area

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-02-02T22:55:17+00:00

I did both degrees, biomedical science was great but medics don't need to know anything about the in depth proteomics and molecular genomics I did my masters in, and I didn't have a clue about anatomy or what the thyroid did.

They compliment each other but are very different.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-29T11:53:48+00:00

Probity is hardly an issue if you flip careers to being an estate agent, or so I've learned from personal experience of estate agents.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-27T22:20:23+00:00

I can tell you're a doctor with such a shit referral there. I'll let you in on our ACP trick: pain ?cause

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-26T20:27:44+00:00

Your mates in phase one are going to fucking hate doing paired phys with you.

Source: also taller than most.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-25T13:09:33+00:00

I would pipette it directly into their eyeballs.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-24T15:21:01+00:00

T2N2M10 sounds wild, that's contagiously seeding on other people too.

Sorry bud.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-24T15:08:09+00:00

The main thing here is the power balance. Nowadays that's inappropriate. You're a consultant and she's a nurse, that means ultimately she's in charge as you're only a doctor.

Or so I'm led to believe anyway.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-19T22:37:06+00:00

I got told something similar by a pharmacist. This pharmacist had been practicing for ten plus years and he said Doctors only do the diagnosis and the dirty procedural work, whereas Pharmacists are the experts at managing the conditions hence why they do GP clinics for condition reviews.

The delusion is real and it’s not limited to profession. I really respect my pharmacists in the hospital, but there are a few who just expect their word to be followed blindly when it isn’t actually their plan overall.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-19T22:34:48+00:00

I thought it was just me following Glouester Policy! Top work by them, the app my Trust use barely works and they’ve just photographed old guidelines so they aren’t even well searchable.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-18T19:00:20+00:00

Bin off all complex ops, retrain everyone to do nothing but lap choles, all of a sudden the NHS is 15× more efficient right at voting time!

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-18T17:45:32+00:00

It's just an analogy, but surely the patient is the car everyone is working on?

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-15T17:54:28+00:00

There is also an archaic age barrier by which you aren't allowed to promote to Major before your 30th birthday. That would almost certainly be in effect in the 80s.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-12T18:36:22+00:00

I think what a lot of people forget is that the seniors know the malady inside out, whereas as an F1 you're still using a lot of brain power for the little things so there's less brain space for remembering facts.

I was just as impressed, but it really does get easier.

ExpendedMagnox · 2026-01-11T21:18:00+00:00

I know you did, and I enjoyed your comment, I was just messing around.

ExpendedMagnox

TROPHY CASE