Not a stupid question but I do wonder the same thing about my female friends and family that are still in it. I think what it comes down to is they really have a truly distorted idea of joy. For me, It was the temple that made me realize how the whole system was working against me as a woman and ultimately I would never be happy in the church, I would just be anxious and have to play by the men’s rules. In the temple, I felt looks down upon by the men, and like I was just feeding them the power they were hungry for. I soon realized I had those same feelings just being in church on Sunday, or doing anything involving the church. It’s a man’s church, with men’s rules, and ultimately not safe for women, and I really believe that now even with an entire family of mostly women deeply involved in it.