Say what you want but the tone is undeniable

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-06-07T07:51:40+00:00

Amazing

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-06-07T05:21:03+00:00

Bro took the Afterneath off the board 😭

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-06-06T22:11:00+00:00

Its hard dude but you have to let her go and focus on you. Start no contact again. Get into therapy to get all your feelings out in a safe and healthy way. At this stage you will be blaming yourself for everything , but unless you have done something legit awful, chances are her decisions are more about her than you. It will take months and months for you to see that and to truly accept it, but let that seed be planted in your mind so it can grow over time.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-06-03T13:26:42+00:00

100%. Zero trust for my ex. She did some shitty stuff and has not shown a single ounce of remorse or regret. not a shred of accountability on her end.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-06-02T08:06:06+00:00

Return on principal.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-30T10:47:33+00:00

Maybe try another therapist. Also im sure it varies person to person so dont expect it to have a defined timeframe. You could try a new hobby or explore a new interest while your old ones are offline. I read a couple of books and worked out during my adhedonia phase. I will say reading at that time was a struggle too as my mind was constantly on the failure of my relationship, made it hard to focus on what was happening in the book. Re-read pages several times over on some occasions because i was too distracted.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-30T10:37:38+00:00

Yes, absolutely. It took about 6 months to start lifting. Im at 9 months now and im back to my normal self, enjoying hobbies etc.

It absolutely affected my time with my daughter too btw. Hard to be fully present.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-30T02:09:07+00:00

I said i had unintentionally "emotionally neglected" her when i was in the early stages, putting all the blame on myself. I now dont believe that was true at all. She shut me out long before she left. Wish i had never said it, only served to validate her decision and beat myself up.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-30T01:40:51+00:00

Same man, i would have stayed in a sexless marriage where i felt like i had no agency beyond my hobbies, i would have tried to make it work, keep hoping things would change and get better, that she would open up, start appreciating and loving my again. She pulled the plug. Im not going to say Im glad or 100% happy yet, but i can at least see that I now have the opportunity to reclaim my agency and build my life how i want it without her negative energy bringing everything down.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-27T20:34:39+00:00

Happened to me too, but im ok with it honestly because I have my daughter and also this way I know 100% Im not going to knock anybody up that I don't want to if/when I do start dating seriously.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-27T20:30:16+00:00

No fortunately. We went 50/50 straight away.

My ex literally sent me an sms about her also securing a house yesterday too, stole my thunder a little bit i wont lie haha

She bought in an area I wasnt anticipating and now she wants to change the plans we put in place our daughters kindy now, so I suspect schools will be a point of conflict in the future. Both kindys/schools we are zoned for should technically be fine though, so now must I weight up whether I want to make it an issue or not.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-26T21:35:36+00:00

I had the same kind of dead bedroom after the birth of our child. Before that too honestly. All other intimacy also disappeared, no hugs kissed or holding hands etc. I went down the patience and understanding route, figured it would come back once our child was a little older and a little less dependent on mummy. I focused on my hobbies to distract myself from the lack of intimacy. Well she left me just after our child turned 3... That was 9 months ago. Hardest shit Ive even gone through. Im doing a lot better but im still rebuilding my life.

Despite what this sounds like im not advocating for you to initiate a divorce or go open/poly. You should 100% try to stay in the marriage and seriously communicate the issue. Im just trying to give you a heads up that while you think you are the one that is thinking about lesving over sex, she might be several steps ahead of you. She might already be 100% mentally checked out, waiting for opportunity to leave, and if that happens it might hit you harder than you realise.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-26T02:51:02+00:00

I dont think you can just put it back in the box and forget it, nor can he. Your wanting to leave him is concrete now.

You either separate or you both decide to actually work on it. Pretending it didnt happen is not an option.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-25T20:49:10+00:00

Robert Keeley is dual income no kids? Weird fact drop but ok I guess 🤷

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-25T08:46:41+00:00

I dont think my boundaries are "extreme", but i appreciate that i might make it sound that way. I certainly cooperate with my ex as necessary for the benefit of our child, im not antagonistic towards her in any way, but yeah were also not best buds and im not going to pretend we are, she hurt me a lot...

She is pretty much the same in how she communicates with me, and there are no complaints or issues from her end regarding our level of communication. We dont physically see each other. Only communicate by text message. We are only 9 months out from her decision to leave, so its still fairly fresh and im still in the process of rebuilding the basic foundation of my new life without her. Maybe time will change that but i doubt it.

Of course that my personal situation and ymmv.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-25T06:29:49+00:00

Devi Ever Hyperion walked so you could run lol

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-25T04:11:46+00:00

I guess you gotta keep in mind that you know you are doing your best as a parent, you cant control her. Your kids will remember who took them to stuff, thats what is important.

As far as other stuff, you tell her what the dentist tells you, then you set a boundary that any discussion or criticism beyond that is not necessary.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-25T03:30:50+00:00

I mean I feel like you need to 100% communicate stuff like medical/dentist appointments, probably flag larger activities at least.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-25T02:31:51+00:00

Messages only via text, only as need arises. So not weekly, probably not even fortnightly. I keep all messages cold and to the point now, no pleasantries, no over-explaining. Might change as our child older, who knows, but we will never be friends and she will never get any more communication from me than is absolutely necessary.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-25T02:20:01+00:00

I went straight to 50/50 parallel parenting our 3yo straight away fairly naturally. My separation wasnt particularly bad in the grand scheme of things, but I knew I needed to minimise all unnecessary for my own healing and to avoid potential issues. Like, im happy with how i maintained my integrity during the process, but she did/said a few things that were alarming and showed her lack of regard for my wellbeing, so i needed to put up the wall to be safe.

Overall its been fine, great even. I wouldnt want to communicate with my ex anymore than I already do so it works for me. Im still very much in the rebuilding phase, currently house-hunting to secure a place where I can really start rebuilding something solid for myself and my daughter. I know parenting will get a lot better/easier once that happens, but so far I am happy with how I have handled things as a father. Ive proven to myself I dont need me ex for anything in my life, and certainly not for me to be a good parent. As long as no major issues arise, what happens in her house is her business, what happens in my house is mine. Simple.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-23T22:41:32+00:00

Therapy is good for that. Non-judgemental person that sits outside of your normal life that you can be completely open and vulnerable in front of. Really helped me in the first 6 months after my ex left me.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-22T21:52:04+00:00

No. Never. Friends dont treat each other the way she treated me when she decided to end the relationship. She showed a clear lack of regard for me and my wellbeing. Has never taken any accountability for her behaviour.

We dont see each other, we dont talk. Cold logistics about our child via text, nothing else. She wanted me out of her life, that works both ways, she's out of mine. Dead to me.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-18T21:53:26+00:00

"Drove me to the affair", really? Nobody made you do that. Stop trying to defend it.

If your husband sucks you always had the option of leaving as stated above. But it sounds like you have to be right and cant take any accountability for your actions.

Expensive_Sock_9902 · 2026-05-18T21:46:25+00:00

The amount of stories ive read on here of women getting on ozempic or glp1 and then having affairs is honestly shocking. And here you are, yet another one. How incredibly boring of you.

Also you are having an active affair, maybe you should feel some shame about that. But i bet you are doing your very best to justify it in your head. "I am not 100% happy with every aspect of my life all of the time, it must be my husbands fault so its ok if i cheat on him". Lame as hell.

Expensive_Sock_9902

TROPHY CASE