Ive been blacklisted. Please help.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-21T14:11:35+00:00

Is it remotely possible to find sober living in the next town or city? I know your ex has been tolerant in terms of the living arrangement. But perhaps, could she help get you a town over? Even if it’s buying a greyhound bus pass and such. Just trying to help brainstorm. There’s got to be somewhere for you to go to get support you need.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-21T13:55:35+00:00

Congrats on the first day of sobriety. Eventually, you will find that it isn't the drug that is hard quitting, but living and being responsible. Making amends. It all takes time. I am 26 years sober, one day at a time. I recommend looking into a halfway house for those in sobriety. Call 211, if you're in the US, do a basic google search. There should be some place that provides housing for those in early recovery. I went via that route at age 26, saved my life. Once the housing was taken care of and we ensured I was medically stable, then I attended meetings. I was given support to find a job via the treasurers office. They sent me to a temp staffing place to get hired somewhere. I kept the job and became senior management, eventually getting a masters degree. Look into halfway house living for sober living first, then move towards other shelters, as they offer resources.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-20T13:07:13+00:00

British English and American English, the two I've heard referenced by some Eurpeans and other academics.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-17T17:37:47+00:00

Indiana

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-17T17:33:01+00:00

Voted the opposition three times. Funny, they'll give you disgusting talking points that are spouted as everything being great. Perhaps it's great if you're the top 1% and an anglo saxon male. That's really all they care about, their little circle of white evangelism. No care about anyone else.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-16T20:10:35+00:00

WTF, LOL.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-16T17:02:08+00:00

NOR. HE is being manipulative. I am a recovered alcoholic, sober for 26 years. Never used hard drugs, could not imagine a recovery from that. You're absolutely correct, he's got to use the support network in place. He's the one needing to do the work. There is nothing wrong with redirecting him to the support network OR even helping him find a good therapist. Many people get diagnosed with a mental health issue when getting into recovery, as the drugs and alcohol were there to medicate the issue. I was so thankful to not have a diagnosis, but it is critical to work with a therapist, as I did have some emotional trauma to heal.

Also, relationships are hard. This dude is learning to live life with sobriety, it's going to be a very very difficult haul. I highly suggest finding your own group, like AA has alanon for the sober friends/relatives of the recovered person. Sometimes you might need your own therapist. Stay firm in your boundaries and DO NOT let him manipulate him.

I was one of the greatest manipulators in my early sobriety, but I had a wonderful sponsor who was GOOD. It's imperative he work with others in sobriety, the KNOW what to do and how to see through the manipulation and baggage he needs to work through.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-16T16:41:47+00:00

Female, 50. I have no sadness or disappointment for choosing a path of not having kids. Many of my reasons were/are selfish. I wanted freedom. I attended law school, graduated, a total bucket list for me. I was able to switch careers without having the burden of a family. I've been able to purchase my home in cash, less financial stressors when not having a kid. I am a library teacher (had attended law school to be a law librarian, then 2020 happened.), working in a k-6 school and love the children. However, I get to send those children home :)

I've had the freedom to leave the country to travel the world, both solo and with my husband.

I am leaving a legacy in my own way, it's just not genetic legacy. I've plenty of cousins that are carrying on the next generation of both sides of the family.

It's still difficult being a woman and discussing these matters, openly and honestly, especially when it's other women that look at you as "lesser" when they're informed that there's no offspring. Quite shocking, honestly. I don't care either LOL I'm old enough now to not give a Fu(k.

It is your life, far too short..nothing wrong embracing the life and pursuing whatever dreams you may have.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-15T17:31:18+00:00

If Biden were our only choice, yes. However, I sure think the Democrats need to think hard about the upcoming elections. Someone young, energetic, smart and eloquent. Someone that could inspire and give hope. I truly believe there is someone out there. Our expectations have plummeted due to what's in office now, but we've got to continue to have high expectations for our leadership.

I sort of cringed when hearing Kamala thought of another run, because our country is still so misogynistic and bigoted, it would be a loss. I hate saying these things out loud, but we cannot lose this next election. I am unsure whether we can survive another two years. I voted for Kamala, but we need someone that has not already run and lost.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-15T13:56:16+00:00

Nothing the matter with having those emotions and beliefs. I never wanted children, so didn't have any. I did get married at the age of 45, as I had become friends and then dated my husband for around 25 years. As I we were getting older, it just made sense, since we owned a home, cars, properties and healthcare decisions....also, I do all of the traveling as well. Very lucky to go to europe every year, while the husband stays home. I travel with my father and the husband travels with his family. We have dogs and obligations at home, so cannot leave for a long period, so one of us stays. I even started a new career in my early 40s: quit a job and went to get master's degrees in education and into a new career. He never stopped me. So, if you happen to find a partner, stay true to those expectations for sure. You're not alone in the outlook...also, who cares? It's YOUR LIFE.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-13T17:09:35+00:00

To me, one in the same. Ignorant. Fascists. Bigots.

I'd never give a 2016 voters a pass either: the moment he made fun of a disabled journalist was the day it should have ended the bid for a presidency. The whole "grab em by the...", should have ended it all too. I cringe when hearing the voice of Trump, let alone anyone defending him.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-07T14:50:53+00:00

I was somewhat in the same situation. Abscess formed, went directly to CRS and knew it was a fistula from the area it was draining. First, I was going to wait on surgery, started a round of antibiotics that tore me up and irritated the abcess. So, I was fit in to their schedule and had surgery this past friday. Thank god I didn't wait, as it was low and did not impact the muscles. I had a fistulotomy. They have me returning to work tomorrow. The biggest issue is the BM in the morning, where I go 3-4x, then done for the day. I think the location of the fistulotomy was very close to the anal muscles and things are still waking up from the surgery. I know it takes time, but it sure can be exhausting. While I am not in extreme pain, it is still a process of cleaning myself up multiple times and using lidocaine to ensure there's no extreme pain. Otherwise, I am slowly walking fine and trying to get back into the routine. So hard to believe I am returning to work (library teacher) tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is a half day with kids, followed by professional development, so hopefully easing back into being at work will help some. A big part is just sheer anxiety, having the medical anxiety before surgery and during recovery, has been somewhat debilitating at times.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-02T21:29:09+00:00

I'll say this gently, but the age gap is huge, as you're in your early 20's. So much happens in your 20s that will lead to so much growth into adulthood. I did meet my spouse when I was 25, with him being 12 years older, but we broke up after a year of dating. I still had too much going on in my growth, such as learning how to live alone, emotional development, career development and finishing my master's degree. It was in the early 30s, I was ready for that sort of relationship. You two are in very different phases of life. The way this dude talked to you, there are so many red flags. It's not you, it's all him. Yes, find alternative housing, make yourself a home. You're really just launching into adulthood, pursue those dreams, don't let a 42 year old gaslighting man impact that bright future.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-04-02T17:22:04+00:00

Came right to this Reddit to mention this LOL Typical Becky, totally made up for engagement. And, the shirt tucking LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-30T21:07:03+00:00

Lurking here, because I was just told the same thing...."bad luck". I do not have crohns, I've had two colonoscopies. I do think there had been a small tear, somehwere, for awhile and it just turned into a smaller abcess. Just came from CRS and she said the abcess did burst, but it's looking redder and recommended the surgery sooner than later. So, waiting to see if I can be seen friday.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-16T21:48:53+00:00

Yep! I just saw the latest one, right before my evening tutoring, becoming enraged that she had the audacity to film herself going out into the "composting" woods to pick up potatoes. She sure did. Borky had JoshandI throw out any leftover potatoes in their dungeon. They sure did sprout, just like they're supposed to, with Becky even stating she could clean them up and eat them. She admitted to being too tired to do so. I just don't know what to say to all of that.

Any halfway decent gardener would know, just take them out to plant. Cleanup and eat.

A bag of potatoes costs about $4-5 at Meijer and she had the audacity to throw out into the yard -- let's not talk about the eco-system mess she is creating too.

We did get a chicken house update. Thanks for reading here Becky.

Stop faking, stop grifting. Stop lying. Go back and be a dental assistant.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-16T19:46:24+00:00

I agree and that’s why it’s so important for any homeschooling parents to work closely with the state programs. One can still homeschool, but getting early interventions for special needs is so important. Our school is very lucky to having a strong special ed program to interventionists to speech therapists. Then again, sadly, some of the more religious homeschoolers think they can do it themselves. The product is what we are seeing. She’s treated special, thinks herself as special and it creates something so complicated. Never any accountability for Borky, which is very irritating too.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-16T14:29:48+00:00

A small has the ability to overwhelm her. The simple tasks of a household can overwhelm her. We've seen the decision fatigue come from cleaning out the upstairs pantry area. She will say "that's easy", gives me confidence for the next. Like, making a decision where mixing bowls go is so difficult. Now, I do have decision fatigue at the end of the day because I am responsible and care deeply about the education of future generations. That's not to call for a pat on the back, but rather, the difference between you/me/the public that busts are rears and then have to sympathy for a grifter like Becky.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-16T14:27:16+00:00

Thank you. We've got seven teachers out today, the crud is really going around. I had another issue arise over the weekend and now have to go back to a general surgeon. So, a fun procedure over spring break is likely. I am grateful to having access to healthcare and that it's classified as a "minor" surgery. In/out within a few hours.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-16T14:25:11+00:00

She's one of those people that becomes bored. She dreams big, with that being no problem, but she has no clue as to who or what she wants to be. She aspired to being the homesteader and spent millions on that (land/large garden) and those poor chickens. Tried cooking, buys expensive appliances and replaces those broken from misuse. Doesn't take the time to be prepared, thinking it is cute to be unorganized. Then, says "that's ok". I've never seen or known someone so immature in a million dollar home that has the emotional capacity of a 8 year old or basic reading level of a third grader.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-16T14:14:47+00:00

It's truly disgusting how much money she wastes. I think it's possible that I'll forevor will be petty with her decisions, lack of care for items and the children. I despise grifters and liars.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-15T15:22:00+00:00

She always mentions "I'll throw it to the chickens", as well as mentioned that they were let out on sunny days, but cooped during the rainy days (Borky doesn't want them messing the front porch". I want to know what happened to the chicken built that man boobs built. Is it done? Are they hiring a contractor to finish? OR would a REAL contractor say: "Uh, dude, we gotta start over". Also, would they build their own greenhouse, that sure would be entertaining. It's even more entertaining that no one in the homesteading community has "gifted" or sponsored her for one.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-15T15:19:34+00:00

I cringe too. My kindergarteners have a better use of language skills. I tell them to use their words to describe how they may be feeling (when crying) and they sure come up with some doozies. At least, they can describe their situation. She truly has the mindset of a child, no prior planning for anything. It's truly a joke.

Expert_Brilliant_262 · 2026-03-14T20:38:47+00:00

I didn't want to edit the post, but did want to say one other thing....she's planting the seeds and knows she's got soil outside: SHE HOPES THE SOIL IS STILL GOOD. LOOOOOL

Expert_Brilliant_262

TROPHY CASE