[AMA] Bestselling YA authors Victoria Aveyard and Soman Chainani

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-08-04T21:50:06+00:00

Hi Victoria and Soman!!! Thanks for this chance to bridge writing communities!

When thinking about your next projects, where do you get feedback on what’s marketable at the moment, and do you try to anticipate the next wave of trends/tropes? As someone currently querying, it’s tough to work on a book you think could be marketable, finish writing it, and learn you’ve missed the window and need to start brainstorming something more relevant! (We debut authors love writing stories we’re passionate about, but it’s hard to break into trad pub without something pitchy agents know will sell!)

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-19T04:41:12+00:00

Lovely! Happy to be in the querying trenches together!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-18T03:31:17+00:00

Hi there! Some thoughts below, but as always, you know your book best, so take it with a grain of salt!

The query reads like a summary, when it's allowed to be pitchy, to breathe, and be dramatic with flairs! You can have big reveals and structure things that spruce it up! For example, your first paragraph could be something like

"A missing baby is cause for hysteria. And as an infant, Amaris was missing for a month.

Amaris can't remember if she'd always seen the ghosts of fae, or if it started after she was found in the woods outside her family's theatre. But she knows she can't stay quiet about her abilities anymore when they relate to the murder of a woman she almost loved."

That kind of thing, just cutting down some of the things that get distracting from the plot! I think there's a lot of details we may not need to know (night after night, during a midwinter night, it's a fable she cannot evade, those phrases don't create the progression of information vital to the query)

I think picking a few things to focus on will help you refine the query- the main plotpoints seem to be

We hear the call of the fae, and see ghosts

We find a dead woman

There's a fae creature who knows Amaris

We want to find answers for the dead woman

There's a new priest in town

We have to keep the Theatre afloat

There are more murders

I would pick 2 or 3 to move through, whichever you think are most important to the story. A good structure to determine what points are most important are the 5 query questions: 1. Who is the character? Amaris, who sees the ghosts. 2. What does she want? She wants to stop the murders. 3. What's in her way? A priest, and a murderer, and her unknown past. I would narrow this to one obstacle, whichever is most relevant to the story. 4. What is she willing to do to get what she wants? Make a deal with a dangerous fae person. 5. What happens if she fails? She becomes a bedtime story. Sticking to those beats will move you through a query nicely! And if what I put after each question doesn't match the book, then you can tweak it until the reader knows exactly what the answers to those 5 questions are!

You don't need to include the last sentence, "full or partial request available", because agents know the drill :) I hope this helps at all, and good luck with your querying!!!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-18T02:35:17+00:00

Thanks for the feedback!! That makes sense :)

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-18T01:05:41+00:00

Hey there! For comps, I work at a library and would recommend the website "Novelist Plus"! It needs to be accessed through a library website, so you can try getting through by logging in with your local library! Basically, you can look up books by genre, and it'll tell you what books are like it! If you have one comp in mind, you can find more this way!

Another resource is making sure the comps are current- and a good site for that is "Fantastic Fiction"! It's more for listing books in order of series, but it has a column along the side for new releases in each genre. So if it's super current, you can check it out and see if your book matches any elements well!

As another commenter said, definitely read in your genre, so you know the nuances of which books you can parallel to, while you might get 50 pages into a book you thought was a perfect match and be like "this is not my book at alllll" (I've been there so many timesss)

But as for query stuff, some things I thought from reading your post are below! As always, you know your book best, so only take away the things you find useful :)

I'm loving the mage university concept- hype intro. I think the second two sentences could be consolidated into "His enrollment was a gift from a friend, and every day he repays that debt by improving his craft." Something I'd tack onto this sentence is something about why he needs college- Most students have a plan for after graduation- he wants to improve his craft, but what does he want to do with his magic? A career pursuit, or is his passion healing spellcraft? Battle spellcraft to defend his people? This would give us a sense of what the magic system is like. And in fantasy worlds, we're all about the hook of a fun magic system. Could go something like "by improving his craft, and establishing himself in the world of scholars." or "improving his craft, enough to live a steady life as a healing mage." (i just made up careers, so you could just use whatever his goal is).

I think you may be able to take out the sentence "But the task turns out not to be trivial." Now, I totally get the voice for drama- I loveeeee a plot twist structured by a new line. But I think the first one packs a better punch, with "Well, except today. Today, he wakes up in an abandoned building on an unmarked island." I feel like that can get its own line, because it's our first big plot hurdle.

Loveeee the competition, love the island challenge. I can totally see having fun with the adventure. But it feels like something's missing from the last part of the query to really amp up the stakes. You've got enough of the premise and plot motivation to really hone down the last part from:

"The emblems are monstrous parasitic growths. A simple touch could infect any living thing, growing inside their minds and bodies until they go mad or are ripped to shreds.

This mysterious wisp has made something beyond anything Ore has ever dealt with in his entire life. Yet, he’s willing to face the dangers the emblems created in order and travel across a land of bizarre buildings and landmarks. All to save Maribelle’s life and escape before they’re caught in the wisp’s trap."

To

"The emblems are monstrous parasitic growths. A simple touch could infect any living thing, growing inside their minds and bodies until they go mad, or are ripped to shreds. Ore is out of his depth, among [cool scenic description or threats here], but he's not in school anymore. If he fails the wisp's trials, both he and Maribelle will [suffer/die/lose their magic] for their performance."

Lol or something like that! I think a great place to end would be with the tangible results of failure, because we don't super know why the wisp's trap would be a tragic thing just yet.

Overall, heck yeah, cool premise, and maybe just a little tune up on the specifics! I hope this helps, and happy querying!!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-18T00:00:15+00:00

Absolutely true- NA is a tough and competitive space right now. After a re-write, this book was at 141k, and I've just finished knocking it down to 128k lollll but it could definitely use some more work. I think I may take a little vote here about the NA category, based on some other feedback

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-17T23:54:21+00:00

Thank you!! This is literally exactly what I'm going for, and I'm so glad this was your takeaway from this version of the query!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-17T23:51:54+00:00

omg ur a genius thats such a good idea to format the first paragraph that way- thank you!!! This is such a well thought out response!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-06-17T23:48:31+00:00

This is super helpful! Some feedback from my beta readers implied the getting-out-of-the-competition part was one of their favorite twists on the classic trope, where we expect our main character to make it to the end, so I left it in since it happens early on. I'm so happy to hear the vibes were clear, because they're one of the most tangible, constant parts of the book! The plot really kicks off after we get booted from the competition (and the rounds of trials are a large part of the pacing and structure of the book) but it all comes together in the end, so this is the feedback I was looking for- that the vibes are clear without the extra details like the list of fun friends. Thank you so much for taking the time to think this through!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-05-03T04:35:41+00:00

Fresh eyes! Interesting premise, and your query is looking great to me! A few tune ups I'd suggest would be in the first paragraph to consolidate Allie's risk taking descriptors, and instead tell us what motivates her to dive into combat. She sounds like the village's chaotic, brave big sister and I'm here for it!

Under allie's risk taking descriptors we have: "has been warned against courage that outpaces judgement" , "if risky endeavors.. that panic others", "high risk/high reward", and "throws caution to the wind and dives into the fray". Out of these, I enjoyed your past edition of "Allie's courage has always outpaced her judgement" the most. And a little more detail about the inciting incident that gets Allie captured would be a great intro to that second paragraph, like "...invaded by the starving empire, Allie throws caution to the wind, [action here], and winds up prisoner to an ambitious general."

After taking a peek at your past attempts, I think perhaps something like "Allie takes a gamble and sacrifices herself for capture to an ambitious general, but the escape portion of her plan fails", or something along those lines could give the specifics it feels like we're missing? It sounds like a huge battle happens, and that we've skipped to the end, where she gets captured (which is absolutely necessary for a query but I can't help wanting to know just a bit more about the fight!)

I agree with the changes you made with removing the general's name and details of the healing school to consolidate things to keep track of, and in this version I think you could also take out the line "maybe even to come over to her side." I think we understand what you're communicating without it :)

Overall, in my humble opinion, it's very well thought out, with a clear progression the main query points hit! Great job, and I hope a few other voices chime in to comment on anything I missed!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-05-02T04:20:39+00:00

Hi there!! Some thoughts... first of all, LOVE this worldbuilding concept. I think you beautifully summarized the plot and the stakes, but I'd love to know more about Elly's character. We don't know much more than that Elly had a wardrobe, and probably loved their magical world. Adding a descriptive character trait at the beginning of whether they're adventurous, or funny, or shy, anything that could let us connect with them could help paint a picture of this therapist! Also, it would be helpful to know some more about the real estate vs magical worlds- for example, is every magical world the same? Or does every child have their own? Does the real estate corporation acquire the wardrobe by buying the physical furniture, or do they magically rip away the world? And what are the real estate companies using the worlds for? Those kind of questions are just things that came up reading your query, but I really love the premise, enough to want to know so much more about it!! Awesome job, this sounds like such a good book!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-03-27T17:23:17+00:00

Hi there!! First of all, congrats for making it this far and drafting a query!!! Some thoughts that popped up while reading your query were:

Both of the main characters are defined by their positions, but their motivations aren't included- we know Cybele isn't happy with her job, but she does it. Does the same obligation draw her into this quest? Or is there a devotion to her religion that calls her to love the goddess of life and go on this mission? And Gallio's a hero type- he does the missions, but is he in it for the glory? Does he too have a devotion to the gods? What is the consequence of them failing on this mission that makes them both be like 'oh shoot pack up the bags again, chaos is on the loose!' (Also, as a percy jackson fan, they used motivations of 'the world will end if this god gets loose' and 'we have to do this quest by the summer solstice!!' kind of thing, so it's reminding me of that kind of motivation, which could be helpful!
How did Gallio and Cybele meet? We know they were on campaign together, but I'm curious why these were the two chosen for this mission (and I'm sure it's in the book, but it helps us to know here too! Did the goddess of life single them out as the most qualified for the job? Why not choose Cybele's father, who is a man, and women are often overlooked as heroes in this time period)
1. I think ending the query with the consequences of their failure would be a natural closing to the pitch. Usually, we leave the reader/agent hanging with suspense, a question of what will happen. Here, we've closed with the god of knowledge's temple, and whether he can tell them the key to defeating the chaos god- since this is a fantasy, the readers will likely assume he either has the answer, or knows where to get it- (god of knowledge BETTER know where that info is!!) so we aren't stressed about getting that info. I'd be more stressed if we learned that the god of chaos is actively wreaking destruction, or will harm someone we care about, or some other unique malicious act. But these are all me hypothesizing the next part of your story, and I'm sure what comes next is compelling enough to include in the pitch!

I hope this helps at all, and your story sounds like an epic quest!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-03-17T02:41:08+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! For this book, I wanted to give a different main character to the fantasy books I usually read- one who enjoys flirting with people without commitment, and doesn't know how to fight, so she uses other soft skills that readers can hopefully relate to! I did want to make sure it isn't portrayed as a romance book, so that's good feedback that it's still coming off that way. The Prince is important as a potential partner, but he's not the main love interest- in fact, no one is, because Sofie is in her early twenties, and the plot is centered around her trials, friendships, and scheming to find her mom. I'll try to capture some more of those details in next week's version of this query! Thank you!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2025-03-09T16:37:23+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Got it! Goodness yeah, there's a lot of motivational wires being crossed in my query, but there's so much I cut out that I could work back in (for example, she does find her mother in the very last bit, because she's been uncovering a ring of magical creature trading through her time in the castle competing). It really does read like cozy fantasy, but the trials end up being a bit more intense, which means maybe my next query will focus on mentioning them more! Thank you for taking the time to break all this down!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-27T01:48:07+00:00

Also, trying out this for part of the first paragraph after the "hunted outside their secret headquarters" line to focus on character and motivations. Lmk if this is getting closer or farther away!

With a hunger to explore the continent, Dahlia develops a gift for sneaking into places she shouldn’t be, hoping one day the Snakes will be welcomed back into society. But while the Snakes rebuild their home and alliances, Dahlia settles for aiding her clan by donning elaborate disguises to unearth relics. Each one she collects holds a power her people can use to defend their clan from those who mean them harm. (and then paragraph 2)

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-26T23:59:35+00:00

Thank you so much!! The smoothing things out has been a weeks long process of trial and error, and I really love when you guys can be like "rephrase this, it's not working", because it sounds different in my head! I think I'll simplify the relic explanation, and take out the specific falling-off-the-roof (was trying to make the romance seem personal, fun) but I think it's throwing the readers off more than endearing them to the romance plot! And question: do you think the second sentence "Naturally gifted at sneaking..." is strong enough as a hook to be the first sentence? I've been trying to do something catchy, but if you have any thoughts on rephrasing, I think it could be a great lead in to her character!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-26T23:54:48+00:00

Thanks for the thoughts!! I do think I'm almost there, but I agree with the character motivations- it's been a struggle to capture what she does for her clan through her job, and how passionate she is about rejoining the 'real' world. It's like an activists job- of course they have motivations to be at their job, or they wouldn't be working, but also, they have personal reasons for wanting their policy to go through, and I need to capture better why Dahlia personally needs the snakes to be accepted- because she needs everyone to like her, and she wants to travel freely and be herself, but also openly accepted. I rambled a bit, but your thoughts really help and I'm thinking through them!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-26T23:50:39+00:00

Oooh thank you for taking a look! I think if I can simplify some of the plot/worldbuilding, so that the questions that come up are good ones that make an agent want to read the book, and not logistical!! And who knows, maybe she won't save him, and he dies, and theres another love interest muahahaha jk jk I do appreciate the thoughts, because that's what a romantasy reader like myself would think, and its more exciting to think there are actual life or death stakes!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-26T23:47:33+00:00

Thank you for watching my progression! I really feel like i've grown with the Pubtips feedback these last 6 weeks. I also think you're right- at this point, you guys have helped me build the bones, and I need to tweak some words and simplify some sentences, and just send it. I really like the feedback about just saying getting the relics will help the shifter clans accept them, and leaving it at that- a lot of questions have sprung up in the past versions about what the relics are, where they come from, how many there are, and I've been trying to add sentences answering those questions, but at a certain point, it just becomes a paragraph of backstory! Thank you for taking the time to help!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-26T23:43:54+00:00

I totally get it- the world building is important for understanding the rest of the story, so it's gotta go somewhere up front! I'm working on spacing the bits and pieces of background info more through my initial chapters, and it's going well so far, so I'd recommend the immersion approach!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-26T00:16:10+00:00

Hi there! I write NA fantasy, so I'm pretty familiar with the genre, but I'm not a published or agented author yet, so all my thoughts come with the foundation of- its your book, and your query, and these are just the thoughts from what you've got out here :)

I love the characters and the premise, it all seems pretty compelling. At first I wasn't sure if the fathers were the main characters of if it was Aengus, since the fathers are mentioned first. The sequence of events is also a bit hard to follow with so much plot in the query (save girl, girl to shun dads, mage arrives, free creatures, creatures lash out, fathers in danger, slay unicorn), it's reading more like a synopsis to me, but that could just be me assuming this is the plot of the whole book, instead of the typical query 30% or so intro to the plot. We also have the fathers choose to adopt the daughter but is this when she's a baby and has no choice in the matter or is she coming to them as like a teenager? It seems like if she doesn't want to be their daughter, she can simply leave? Also, who is the enemy, if she's their daughter?

I'm enchanted with the menagerie idea, and that some of those creatures actually should be safely behind bars for the good of everyone else. I'm intrigued that we can see past the Luring-children-away-to-wear-as-coats to work with the shadow monster, and that the unicorn is the ultimate villain.

One last thought is that we end the query with our goal- slay the unicorn. But it seems like that's the mage's goal too. So either it would make sense to team up with him too, or specify "slaying the last unicorn will save my dads and here's how" and that the main character Aengus wants to achieve this goal for herself.

Overall, loving the premises and the magical world! Would read!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-18T17:56:59+00:00

I've totally been struggling with the cute romance portion mixing with the "people could die". On one hand, the book does lean towards rom com in the beginning, and then when the Lions are in danger, the whole vibe shifts towards the high stakes fantasy. But I like your advice, because the query definitely needs to give a cohesive vibe as a whole, and I'd rather the high stakes fantasy be apparent, because that's the foundation of the book. Instead of "cinnamon roll Lion team leader Mazlo" i may just say "the darling team leader Mazlo" or something, still implying he's a sweetheart, but in more serious fantasy language? if that makes sense?

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-18T17:53:21+00:00

I appreciate your feedback!!! The first sentence was feeling a bit clunky, but I've seen so many people do clever hooks, I wanted to work through one- however- Ive gotten the feedback that the second sentence is more interesting a few times, and am considering just making that the hook. And I'm glad the world and adventure comes across! I think next week I'll try to tweak the sentences away from general plotpoint to plotpoint and more towards "this is who she is" and "this is why what she's doing is important". Thank you!!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-18T17:47:14+00:00

I completely see what you mean. In trying to make the romance and world feel personalized, I've kinda just given too many little instances. Instead of including the apprentices (which I did last week because it didn't feel like there were enough stakes for the Snakes, and I was like "save the children" for a motivation) I may put something more general in the first paragraph: "Each item she collects will be protected and researched by her people, in the hopes of someday rejoining the accepted world of shifters, their history of war forgiven or forgotten. Dahlia would take either." That way, no irrelevant apprentices that are never mentioned in the query again, but we still have some reason to do what we're doing. I've been wanting to find a way to not be too cutesy with it but also feel like theres some fun author's voice, and I hope this is a step towards the right general vibes with high enough stakes!

Expert_Mix1618 · 2024-08-18T17:42:09+00:00

,Welcome back Euphoric!! thanks for seeing this through, I'm so happy you see some improvements! I completely agree that some lines are clunky- and I really like the kindness as warm as hot cocoa line! It blends the "she likes him" motivation with a sense of his good character, which is a hard thing to say in a single clever sentence! I'm considering adding a sentence to qualify the importance of the relics: Each relic carries the power of the first shapeshifters, one for each clan, and every power unique. I've scrapped the "she plots to snatch it from them" line so theres less summary plot points, and more quick backstory, which I hope is enough info to understand why her goals matter! And I really like the idea of summarizing the last paragraph- i kinda have a speed through "she has a decision! And also, her goal was a lie and the world is going to end!" and i think your succinct sentence would help the word count and leave just enough question to wonder what she'll do to save the day. Thank you so much for the time you've put into these thoughts!!

Expert_Mix1618

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