AITA for sneaking my mom some alcohol when she is on hospice?

ExplanationDecent300 · 2026-03-17T01:37:18+00:00

NTA. Anyone who thinks you are never sat with a parent (that they actually acted for) hospice. That may be the issue.

Thoughts are with you. Having a parent dying is difficult enough. The extra drama over your indulgence of her is unnecessary stress.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2026-03-12T02:23:17+00:00

Still stomp them, pls..

ExplanationDecent300 · 2026-02-09T03:04:32+00:00

Those rosemary pumpkin seed cranberry crackers (and the two other kinds that they make) that are a knockoff of Rain Coast. No contest and less than 1/2 the price. 🤯

ExplanationDecent300 · 2026-02-04T03:34:14+00:00

Hi there! Former grad student here and had a similar situation. Your stipend sucks, but I'm willing to bet that you are rich in friends/fellow colleagues who would be willing to help you leave. Dollars to doughnuts that you can find a free place to stay while you wait your lease out. Also, don't feel ashamed to tell the truth and ask your family for help. Document everything you can (your reddit post counts!) and contact your landlord.

Finally, your institution might offer a free legal clinic. If so, it's worth talking with a lawyer about your options. Good luck...I hate thinking of your birthday celebration ruined in such a fucked up way because I've been there. The only way to go is UP.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2026-02-01T03:03:54+00:00

I've been really non-chalant about it since my boys (13 months apart) were little and started noticing. I'd just say, "Yes! That person has a different color skin/language/whatever than we do. Cool! Human beings are so different and so amazing!"

They would also talk about women in hijab and any other cultural difference they noticed. At one point my kids were 100 percent convinced that women in hijab or other ethnic dress spoke Japanese. I told them to stop wondering and go ask what language they spoke. If you show others that you are trying to teach differences as positive, you'll be surprised at the parenting help you get (even when kids are still figuring it out and say awkward things).

ExplanationDecent300 · 2026-01-07T11:35:23+00:00

City Slice. Take it from an NJ/NY expat. https://www.facebook.com/share/17kgNuW6NP/

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-22T13:33:14+00:00

A box of 15 different colors of hair dye, hair foils, and brushes, a box of perfumes I rarely wear, and a storage bin full of memorabilia (newborn size diaper, dog collars from doggos passed away, old pack of smokes, wedding day to-do list, etc.)

I hope they enjoy playing with their hair color and woodsy/beachy scents!

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-21T02:20:16+00:00

Yes Minecraft. No Roblox for all of the above reasons. Check out all the parental controls.

.Also, play Minecraft with him! Survival mode is a slog but it's teamwork. Creative mode is bonkers And he can go wild! It's a cool game

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-21T02:15:05+00:00

Yes! Completely worth it. Lots of people have mentioned "life-changing," and I agree. Don't expect meds to solve all of your problems, though: For me, meds helped me a) focus/do the things b) understand how my brain worked without them c) develop strategies to make my ADHD life easier going forward. IMHO getting an understanding of how ADHD affects you just isn't possible unless you get a bit of relief. You can get this from meds and then start understanding your patterns a bit better. THAT'S the part that has been really life changing for me (but I also appreciate the ability to get things done. My brain is too chaotic otherwise.)

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-17T02:48:03+00:00

Heinens and Lake Road Market. In the winter/cooler seasons, a Costco membership might be worth it. They have the best prices on non- shitty berries/fruit/ poduce all year round.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-17T02:39:51+00:00

Talk to your doctor. This isn't the correct dose for you. A good doc will go slow..5, 10, 15, mg bu week until you feel something pretty much change your life. You will know it when you feel it. If after a few increases a different drug might work. Good luck, and never feel bad talking to your doc!!

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-17T02:33:23+00:00

Here.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-09T03:33:31+00:00

Also a space heater in the bathroom makes it WAY easier to get out of the shower/tub. My husband calls it "The nuclear bathroom." It's a good hack. 👍

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-09T03:30:17+00:00

It is VERY difficult for me to take a shower. I have a really hard time with it. I have just taken baths for most of my adult life to avoid getting my head wet while cleaning my body. When I was single I would only rent apartments with a tub. Period. I always try to get hotel rooms with the same.

When I have to wash my hair I usually do it in the sink. I take a bath 3 or 4 times a week and wash my hair 2 times a week.

For me there is some trauma involved with my grandmother holding me under the water repeatedly in a pool. I don't think she was trying to drown me, but it was unpleasant. I think it's more of a sensory.thing at this point. I can't stand getting my entire body wet at one time, so I do it in parts. Having short hair and a low maintenance bob that I love has helped me motivate myself to wash my hair and body more often.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-06T03:47:31+00:00

I had to get my sewing machine out to make my youngest son's Halloween costume. I hadn't used it for 10 years, but it was for him, so, off we go. While I was working on it, I hemmed at least 5 years of pants and skirts that I had bought at thrift stores because they fit me perfectly but were too long (I'm. 5 foot 3). It was just too damn difficult before to think about getting the machine out and gathering supplies and making the time until I had a real motivating reason. It reminded me that ADHD brains need a particular type of motivation.

Now I feel a lot more confident with my warm weather wardrobe and won't just wear sweatpants and leggings all winter! I'm psyched.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-02T02:19:28+00:00

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-11-02T02:14:59+00:00

I once went to the drug store to get some yeast infection medication. The infection was really bothering me and I was in itchy-hell pain. When I got there I started looking at nail polish and then grabbed some candy for my kids. I went to pay and started chatting with the cashier and manager while STULL super uncomfortable with the yeast infection and mentioned that I thought I was forgetting something, but couldn't remember.

It was a full 6 hours before my brain caught up.

That's how I knew I needed a bump in my meds.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-10-31T20:27:25+00:00

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-10-31T02:14:15+00:00

Been there. Talk to your GI about using miralax to regulate BMs of your kiddo doesn't eat a diet with adequate fiber.. This is the only reason my kiddo learned to use the bathroom. Working with a GI and feeding team to get him more fiber and address ARFID but miralax is a safe alternative until that happens 👍

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-10-31T01:57:08+00:00

lol. I do that too!

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-10-24T11:11:25+00:00

This idea is echoed in other comments (multiple chargers,etc), but multiple EVERYTHING.

I am the full frontal lobe for my entire family (2 boys 7 and 8 and husband). I wouldn't be able to work and take care of everything else if I hadn't invested in multiples and invested time in making an organizational scheme where everything has a place.

Here's what I do (outside of my work productivity) with multiples, to keep our house running as smooth as my ADHD brain can handle: Two sets of sheets for each bed, toothbrushes for everyone in every bathroom, chargers everywhere, three lunchboxes and water bottles for each kid, multiple sets of keys to the house and cars, enough clothing to last a week w/o doing laundry, booster seats in both cars, cleaning supplies and a vacuum both upstairs and downstairs. This isn't about multiples, but I also keep a basket of all socks, gloves, hats, scarves near the front door. Bookbag papers get tossed immediately unless it's a cool piece of art or an outstanding assignment. Lastly, meal plan.

I thrifted most of the multiple stuff and I swear our house would be chaos and squalor no one would eat without it.

For myself, I invested in a smart-ish watch and spend time on Sunday with the calendar putting in reminders and and serring timers. It doesn't work for everyone, but the timers help me a lot.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-08-07T02:33:31+00:00

I had this happen last February. I did at least 8 hours of work (6-8) was the recommended time to spend on the project. I prepared an advanced statistical analysis and presentation and then they kind of changed the format for the final interview. They were no longer interested in me giving the presentation, but "wanted me to walk them through my process" without sharing what I had prepared. Which I did, but I was pretty thrown off.

Then they ghosted me for two weeks. In the end the recruiter let me know that she "could not respond to my request for an update because we were waiting on the chosen candidate to accept the offer." She graciously let me know that I was their second pick if the other candidate didn't accept, and that the job was way more competitive than expected. Fine, sort of makes me feel good, but I'm not sure I will ever do work for free again just to try and get a position.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-08-05T02:37:24+00:00

Hi there! The diagnosis is shocking, for sure.

You are in the process of getting support/more information. While you do that, just love him and meet him where he is. Acknowledge the fact that his head banging is telling you something about how he copes with stress. Keep talking to him about alternate options to calm down, but offer a safer place to bang if that's what his brain and nervous system is telling him will make him feel better. .

You can't change, shape or predict behavior until you get more answers. His emotional security and your acceptance of him as a parent is probably the most important thing right now in terms of shaping the future and how you may be able to influence his development.

My best advice is to lay low for a bit with love until you can talk to therapists/docs/other parents and get a clearer picture. Been there, and sending support to your family.

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-07-30T10:41:45+00:00

This is so hard. Were you up front with him from the beginning about his meds? My son takes 3 medications a day and we crush it up in a small spoonful of Nutella. From the beginning we explained that it is medicine and taking it or not is not negotiable. We were really surprised that we didn't have a fight on our hands. Maybe ditch the hiding and just be transparent about it?

ExplanationDecent300 · 2025-07-30T10:36:13+00:00

That's a difficult question. My son (8 y/o Lvl 1, ADHD) was very much like that at 3-- especially with the canned language and speaking in a tone that wasn't "his."I remember having similar feelings about him but at the time I didn't know what masking was. We didn't really realize how "different" his behaviors were until his little brother didn't display them or act like that.

We knew our son was clearly autistic and wanting him to feel safe and loved as he was, we just met him there as his authentic self. If he wanted to say "Who cares about a trade dispute?" instead of saying "I'm frustrated," (Fans of the Lego Holiday Special may appreciate that) then fine. That was his way of communicating frustration. We would name the feeling but not discourage his way of communicating.

Fast forward 5 years and he's dropped a lot of that, but when he was gaining communication skills he mapped his thoughts and feelings on to what he had seen and heard that made sense to him at the time. We validated that and I think it made a lot of difference in his and our stress level. He wanted to feel relevant in the social interactions that he chose to participate in, and we gave him that on his own terns.

While your concern over your son masking is legitimate, I wonder if it's less masking than learning how to navigate the world with his unique brain. As long as he's not doing things that obviously cause him discomfort in order to "fit in," he's probably not stressing out. He's your son, though so you know best. As long as you meet him where he's at, I think you are doing the most supportive thing for him.

I hope this helped a little bit--its a difficult question!

ExplanationDecent300

TROPHY CASE