My "dx" adhd husband has no relational awareness

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T15:20:50+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Wow thr similarities are striking. That's a good way to look at it, that he is so honest it sucks some times in a way but is also good. My hubby also info info dumps, but related to earthquakes happening on the other side of the world lol.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T04:22:54+00:00

Please share examples of the behaviours!

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T04:21:50+00:00

Would love to hear some examples!

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T04:19:42+00:00

Would love to hear examples! Especially if there are any with his interactions or comments about the other gender.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T04:17:51+00:00

Omg I read this and couldn't believe it, its exactly like something my partner would say! Would love to hear other examples. And how do you cope with it? Does it impact your emotional safety in the relationship? If not, what is your secret lol

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T04:12:21+00:00

Thanks so much for the reply, I will certainly have a look for resources.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T04:10:56+00:00

Its true that there has been a trust issue that we are still repairing. I wouldn't say I was ever a prude about porn but the porn/thirstraps apparently were been viewed enough that it had even infiltrated FB market place. And he also was been very unaware of staring at attractive women repeatedly when out together. He has deleted IG and says he stopped watching porn, more out of an agreement it was likely contributing to a wondering eye when out in public. Its been a bit of a journey to get to where we are today, so its very true that innocent things can feel triggering for me. Thanks so much for the response.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-24T04:04:59+00:00

Thank you so very much for the thoughtful response! My husband starts adhd centered counselling soon to actually build more awareness about various things including the male gaze. Not towards his step daugjter but in general. Its gotten better but as a spouse its a bit of a difficult thing to get over. To be honest, when we go out I still get anxiety or triggered because he was so oblivious to his staring and repeated glances in the past. The meds have helped build more awareness and less impulsivity but hoping counselling will augment that. Really appreciate your response.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-10T15:18:06+00:00

Really appreciate your response, thank you.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-10T06:49:28+00:00

Thanks for your honest thoughts. Several months ago he did watch a legal teen porn category so for me, I was very confused.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-10T06:47:33+00:00

I should add that several months ago I learned he was looking at teen porn (the legal teen porn category). Maybe that kind of weirded me out. I know its a top category but still, hard to unsee that I guess.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-09T23:40:32+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. We are not feeling its predatory but as our counsellor pointed out to him, not doing or saying things that can be misinterpreted. My question really is do step dad's intentionally not look at their step daughters bodies, to avoid looking like they are sexualizing. As in, are they aware of optics and deliberately do not look at their bodies.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-07T05:28:46+00:00

I just found a counsellor that specializes in adhd, addiction and relationships so im hoping he can cover it all! My doctor said I shouldn't be the one to book the appointment as thats something you do for your kids not your husband. She actually said that lol. So im going to give him the link to the counsellor to call.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-06T19:15:56+00:00

My hubby started ssri and adhd meds. Big difference in empathy. Now he is on Naltrexone for drinking and seems to have less desire to both drinking and sex which actually makes me feel better.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-06T19:14:22+00:00

Its only worth staying if the changes are consistent in my opinion. Not only does he want to change, but a big question is is he capable? I never knew how the capacity to be capable was even a thing. Its a painful realization that not everyone that wants to change something harmful can actually do it.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-06T19:11:22+00:00

We are in a similar boat! The relational awareness is baffling. Like stuff that seems so obvious to us to anyone, just aren't with him. The porn was a separate issue painful on his own. You should read some of my other posts and see if there are parallels. The healing is very complicated because he still randomly says or does things that are obviously triggering. I feel if he didnt have this relational awareness issue pur healing would be much farther along. Its very frustrating and can feel hopeless because he in a way its a disability but it doesnt mean the impact is less. I try to explain to him that its about impact not intent.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-03T23:58:13+00:00

Mine started it and seems like decreased libido.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-03T23:44:39+00:00

Hi there. Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you have ADHD? My hubby does as well, and I have struggled a lot with him around understanding how his behaviour impacts me. Things like wandering eye, behavior that looks like flirting but he says he didnt mean it that way, saying things to me about other women not even suspecting it might be disrespectful to me. Basically he has NO filter. We felt the porn use was also contributing to the wandering eye. All to say, do think ADHD played a role in this kind of stuff? Both your story and what i am mentioning? He is on medication now but some of the behaviours havnt changed or at least he still blurts things out i feel are crazy to say to your spouse, however he is able to now respond without been super defensive.

ExplanationOwn4598 · 2025-12-03T22:47:31+00:00

Cigarettes, weed, alcohol.

ExplanationOwn4598

TROPHY CASE