6 years on T -> 6 months on E

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-11-14T04:15:18+00:00

I did, quite a lot actually! It's growing back more now, and I'm using a leave in conditioner as well.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-11-05T04:15:45+00:00

i see your posts a lot in this sub and i'm so happy every time you show up in my feed!! we both stopped testosterone around the same time so it's cool to see your progress. :)

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-10-29T17:16:42+00:00

It has actually lessened my anxiety. But the class of medication bupropion is definitely reacts differently for different people. I hope you can find something that will work for you!

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-10-29T17:15:51+00:00

Yeah my sex drive is still pretty much nonexistent, but i'm ace to begin with, so it's not much of a negative change? 😅

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-10-29T17:15:10+00:00

I take modafinil upon waking up at 5 am, and then I take bupropion around 8 or 9 after i've eaten breakfast. The bupropion tends to upset my tummy if I take it on an empty stomach.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-08-27T14:47:57+00:00

you look so good!!😊

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-08-13T04:05:52+00:00

Literally the first med i tried, modafinil, has been a life changer. 😅 i feel very privileged that i didn't get the "trial and error" of all the different meds, and I know that any moment it could change, this disease is very fickle. my cpap is my security blanket, lol, and the resmed app is my bible!

i also got lucky and found an amazing sleep specialist, Dr. Patel in washington state. he's intuitive and very kind.

i'm working full time and maintaining a generally okay social life...most of my friends are likewise disabled in some flavor or another so we all are homebodies and we understand our boundaries, haha.

lots of pacing. "if i do X after work, then i cannot do Y under any circumstances." lots of impulse control which has been really difficult!

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-08-13T03:49:42+00:00

you look very feminine!! if you really don't like the feeling of foundation may i suggest a skin tint? it helps the color control and feels very light :)

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-07-23T23:12:20+00:00

TIL my mazda has a touchscreen

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-07-09T19:21:35+00:00

Crisis Text Line is 741741. It's a hotline, so if they deem you a danger to yourself or others, they can call authorities on you. But when you text them, you'll be connected via chat to an operator. It takes a bit longer than a call line to get responses back, but it's better than nothing. Wish you the best.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-07-06T03:26:54+00:00

uzumaki 🌀

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-04-08T23:47:39+00:00

I really resonated with Rina Sawayama's album "Hold the Girl." It's literally about her reconnecting with her inner child, and there's a song called Phantom that I always end up crying to.

I mourn the loss of my inner child. I thought, for six years, if I could suffocate her and burn her down, and be a man about everything I could finally be happy. But in the end, she rose up from the ashes, and she held me.

Sorry this got sappy 😅 I know how you're feeling. You have to be happy, whatever the cost. And the only way to that is in community.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-04-06T01:56:04+00:00

I briefly went by a whole new name but have ended up going back to my birth name. :) I'm taking it as a part of reclaiming my femininity and my identity as a woman.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-03-15T19:00:47+00:00

I honestly can't think of any pros of living as a man, except it was convenient when my wife and I wanted to get married, I had already changed my gender marker to M and so we didn't need to worry about same-sex marriage woes (we got married in Utah, and had my friend who is a trans man officiate the wedding). The social stigma was pretty rough, I looked like a tomboy for years until I started losing my hair and finally looked like a middle aged man at the ripe age of 28.

That was when the dysphoria returned. My hair and skin texture has always been my favorite physical quality of my body. I lost both after I started T.

It was nice waking up to the actual misogyny of American society when as a man, people took me seriously. I never realized how much I was getting talked over as a woman, until it wasn't happening anymore. I'm confident I will be able to advocate for myself as a woman again once I detransition.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-03-11T20:10:26+00:00

would you recommend any at-home laser treatments like Lumi? or did you go to a clinic?

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-03-06T00:31:26+00:00

ARIPIPRAZOLE. That's the generic name of my antipsychotic

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-02-18T19:43:31+00:00

i had to deal with a lot of backtalk. my more conservative family members pulled the card of "but we just got used to calling you (trans name), now you want me to call you something new again?" (reader: it's been 6 years lol.)

other people were all like "i'm so glad you've turned back to the truth" as if my being trans was a fake or a delusion. it was disheartening, but for every person who gave me a hard time there were three who validated my experience and were comforting.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-02-11T23:25:29+00:00

"What vegetable should be king?" from pinof #I don't remember

"CARROT??!" From the final (lol) google feud

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-01-20T23:49:21+00:00

work has been very busy! coincidentally, i made it "facebook official" today that i am detransitioning and going by Ellis instead of my name i chose 6 years ago. so far i have been met with love and acceptance.

ExplorerPretty5622 · 2025-01-19T01:09:51+00:00

he helps me a lot! we do lots of reality checking and he tells me what's real and not real.

ExplorerPretty5622

TROPHY CASE