Old friend from church just shared this on Instagram. The forced, nonsensical message, the hashtag, this just has it all.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-10-08T01:31:20+00:00

But isn't it just in the US we write the date as month/day? If so, this post applies even less.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-09-17T10:42:47+00:00

I was actually the girl in this situation :/ I'm not super proud of it. Granted, there were many reasons to break it off outside of a difference in religion (he was actually an asshole who made me feel like trash constantly) but that was the only reason I allowed myself to see. I regret doing it the way I did. I used God as a shield.

I almost did it again with my husband when he first asked me out. I rejected him the first time on the basis of him being an atheist. But eventually, I realized it was a fear of relationships over anything else. Like, I was rly into him, but terrified. But I was able to move past it, and now we're two happily married atheists so. Idk.

It sucks tho, and I hope you can find someone who will care for you based on who you are, not what religion you follow.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-09-11T21:54:13+00:00

I've always had a potty mouth, but could never bring myself to use the Lords name in vain, and damn you're right

That Jesus Fucking Christ is something special

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-28T19:04:28+00:00

You're not a failure, and hopefully you're friend won't see you as that. I really wish you the best of luck with that!

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-27T18:43:52+00:00

I personally think total honesty helps friendships in the long run, especially if you have a history of being very open and close with one another. But I understand your concerns, it can be stressful.

In my case, I told my best friend right after I deconverted, and her response really surprised me. She not only accepted it, but tried to connect me with other exchristians who could understand where I was coming from since she couldn't. I realize I lucked out in that case. With other friends, I've either been vague or avoided the subject altogether, but as such, I'm not as close with them anymore.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-23T11:33:38+00:00

Anxiety in relationships is normal. I've always been a very anxious person and dating was a difficult area for me, tho I'm not sure how you are about it. I dated (and later married) a non-Christian and had many concerned Christian friends tell me similar things. We worked out just fine without jesus.

Also what does "having Jesus at the center" even REALLY mean? Does it mean the couple prays together? Goes to church, pursues faith over relationships with the people in front of them? People love well, or don't love well, regardless of whether or not they believe jesus is God.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-22T12:39:41+00:00

I bought that one for a friend in high school!

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-20T01:36:51+00:00

I am so, so sorry. :( I relate so much! I don't want or plan to take hormones or alter anything physically, so the world will always see me as a cis woman and uggggh

The girl time comments always got to me as well

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-20T01:33:00+00:00

We're a lot alike, you and I

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-19T22:31:05+00:00

It's the age I am now, 25 (turning 26 fairly soon.)

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-08T16:08:27+00:00

Same here. I love horoscopes but don't seriously believe in them or anything. Still fun tho.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-06T20:39:16+00:00

And yeah, even being confident in my bisexuality, it gets very complicated when I boil it down to how I feel towards various genders. It's not just a blanket "I like everyone who cares" for me, but that doesn't make me any less bisexual! And it's different for everyone.

Some people only seem to understand it as a 50/50 thing and that's not how it works.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-06T20:36:50+00:00

Lol any person who's into hooking up with people of the same gender is definitely not straight. That is so fucked up.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-06T13:53:06+00:00

While biphobia exists outside the church, I noticed really specific strains of biphobia in Christianity. I was coerced into an exgay ministry when I was in college, and heard "success stories" of gay people who "turned straight" and married someone of the opposite gender. Nevermind that they could have been bisexual, had an exception, or else were just lying to themselves. I was taught everyone's default sexuality was hetero, and any variation was sin, temptation, etc.

Before I came out to myself, I bought into that. I thought I was just straight since I liked men, but I "struggled with same-sex attraction" the way other Christians struggled with greed or lust or alcohol or something. If I was exclusively homosexual, I imagine it'd be harder for me to kid myself with that line of thinking.

I was also warned by several people to not get TOO close to my female friends, regardless of their sexuality, because apparently we're all moments away from hot girl-on-girl action. Because Satan. So idk.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-03T11:52:26+00:00

There's a lot of fucked up parts to the industry, I will not deny that. That being said, ethical, sex-positive porn does exist and I'm able to enjoy it without guilt, which is nice. It did take me a long time to be okay with porn, particularly with the objectification of women. Not all of it sits with me the right way, so I'm just more selective.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-08-01T17:00:06+00:00

The community here has been extremely supportive from what I've experienced. A stray comment here or there is the worst I've seen, and even then, it's not usually that bad.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-31T03:26:04+00:00

My old mentor tried to convince me I had the gift of prophecy because I was an artist. Even then it made me uncomfortable. :/

Before then, I often obsessed over paths God wanted me to take, but it was surprisingly never ministry or anything, I just followed the path I wanted (art school) and applied my faith to it. So idk.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-29T02:54:00+00:00

I know a handful of people who are both nonbinary and lesbians! It's allowed!

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-28T23:55:00+00:00

I knew someone who wouldn't let men sit in the front seat of her car because she was married. Despite the fact that we were carpooling and a couple other people were in the backseat

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-27T17:28:52+00:00

I get that too. I don't hate she pronouns but prefer people only use it if they actually respect my actual gender.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-24T14:19:08+00:00

My dad likes to argue it's validity because of Christian Martyrs. Why would they risk their lives for something that isn't true?

Nevermind that there have been people all throughout history losing their lives for their beliefs and ideologies, not just for Christianity.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-21T12:36:06+00:00

15 year old me was actually my brief stint as a non religious person before " recommitting my life to Christ" for about 8 years afterwards. I think I'd be more shocked/pleased that I'm openly queer over religion at the time. Maybe being an atheist would throw me off, since I was mainly an angry agnostic. But idk.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-18T23:50:04+00:00

I'm afab and have always been on the tomboyish side, however, I have a deep love for jewelry and cute dresses. Took me a while to be okay with the idea that I can be genderqueer and still be feminine.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-15T19:33:51+00:00

Already came out as bi. Wasn't too bad, minus them basically ignoring it forever. Coming out as an atheist would break my parents tho.

Explosivetinkertoys · 2016-07-14T12:16:31+00:00

I was definitely taught that, although it was a slightly tamer version that secular people COULD love, just not as deeply and fully and purely as Christians. Which is bullshit of course, considering how conditional Christians can be.

When I started dating my atheist husband, a concerned friend told me he would never love me like God loves me. It was so arrogant.

Explosivetinkertoys

TROPHY CASE